The Last Bag
by NightOwlHoot
Summary: About a year post end of S5. McQuaid operatives are captured. Annie is taken out of the field due to an incident. She had been living with Ryan, but their relationship had been strained due to his assumptions about her health and relationship w/Eyal. They part ways, but Annie's isn't exactly upfront with him. It's about her choices and consequences of choices on her personal life.
1. Chapter 1

The summer sun was setting over D.C. Annie had packed and sorted her belongings all day, but she was frantically picking up the pace. It made the last few boxes packed messier and less organized than the first ones. She wanted to be out of there before he got home from work. Annie cursed how much she accumulated since she moved in about a year ago. Packing it all up would sever ties for good. With her last bag packed she took one last look around the house she called home while recounting memories. She remembered the first time she was inside the home, and how she spent the entire night with him talking and laughing despite the fact that she had just been suspended. Many of the moments they shared flooded her memory, but not one trace of her remained inside the home, she was good at disappearing she supposed. She headed to the door when in walked her former fiancé, Ryan McQuaid.

They were face to face for the first time since their colossal blow up a couple of days ago. Ryan looked tired to Annie. He had aged in the last week. She felt horrible for contributing to his stress.

"I saw the boxes. So that's it? Your mind's made up?" he asked curtly.

Annie shook her head as she felt heat in her cheeks and pounding of her heart intensify. He did that to her still. She did what she usually did and diverted attention.

"Any developments today?"

He shook his head, "Fucking State Department is useless, dead ends from every contact at DOD and the Pentagon. Everyone's washed their hands of it. I've got contracts on the line and the threat of being cut off completely if I don't stay out of it, my hands are tied and it makes me feel like shit," he said. She never knew him to concede to anything.

"I'm so sorry," responded Annie.

McQuaid walked over to the elegant bar cabinet in his living room. He took out two lowball glasses and motioned to her with them. She shook her head.

"I should go."

"One parting drink Walker," he said authoritatively as he looked up from pouring. Sometimes she really liked that side of him. He was a strong man, used to commanding and achieving outcomes.

She relented and took the glass he poured.

McQuaid didn't want to talk about his captured operatives. He spent every minute of the last couple of days dedicated to finding a way to get them out, but right now all he wanted was to know where she was going.

"Where are you heading?"

She shrugged.

"Come on Walker, what do you want me to do with your mail?" he asked with exasperation as he took off his jacket and unbuttoned a few buttons on his shirt.

Annie saw through him. She had no personal mail to forward. He wanted to hold on to her despite everything. On his part, if they weren't going to have a future, he at least needed to know she was safe and healthy.

"What are you going to do? I mean for a living?" he asked, unable to hide his concern.

Annie, never having sipped her whiskey, put the glass down. Meanwhile, Ryan had already emptied his. He noticed she looked worn down too. Annie turned towards the door thinking she had to give him something.

"Teach maybe, that's where I was headed before the CIA. Seems like a lifetime ago."

He chuckled remembering something he said to her over a year ago while they were both handcuffed to a curb. He said, soldiers, spies, poets and teachers were the most underappreciated professions and here she was about to choose another profession from his list of unappreciated jobs.

"You can't do anything about the teachers and poets remember," she said with a slight smile before she looked down. They still had a connection, they both remembered moment they shared.

"No, but I can put you on my payroll until you get your bearings."

"You're not responsible for me Ryan," she said as she shook her head and walked towards the door. She put her coat on and took the house keys out from her coat pocket.

"I still care about you, I can't just turn it off," he said quickly.

"Oh like I can?" retorted Annie. She tossed the keys on the hall table and opened the door.

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't need to, you forget that I know you," said Annie.

She walked towards the door.

"I let you know me, but you? You didn't open yourself up to me, to us. . .you keep your emotions and your past bottled up," said Ryan as he blocked the door.

Annie looked away. He took her hand, come back, let's have another drink. He was hoping he could convince her to stay as he held her hand and led her back into the living room.

"What you said, is not true," said Annie as she followed and tried to mask the hurt she felt. She didn't know he felt that way while they were together, she was trying. He made her want to try. She showed more of herself to him than she ever did in any of her relationships. Up to now, theirs was the longest she remained in a committed relationship.

Annie hadn't expected him to come home before she left and this was becoming harder than she imagined. How could he not know how much she loved him and how much she tried.

"Then talk to me, really talk to me," he said as he poured himself another drink while watching Annie raise an eyebrow at him.

"What do you want from me? You took Joan's side, you tanked my career and . . ." shouted Annie.

"Joan made the right call, you can't be in the field anymore and that doesn't mean your career is over, if you want to do the country good, you need to be healthy to do it Walker!" interrupted Ryan. He began talking fast and loud as he was apt to do when feeling self-righteous. It was the same ongoing lecture on the situations that would prevent her from getting her medication and endangering others.

"It wasn't your call to make," she yelled. Everything that transpired still made her angry.

"It's my life. My life. Not yours, not Joan's, not the CIA's. You used to support me, give me unconditional trust in the field. And I have never jeopardized an operation. What happened wasn't my fault."

"I never said it was, I thank God every day that you weren't captured with them. Your episode was a blessing."

"I could still be doing something to help if you hadn't gone behind my back. . ." said Annie heading back to the door. Ryan was on his third drink by then.

"So is that why you went to him?" shouted Ryan. He was feeling anger and jealousy again. He didn't mean for their parting to deteriorate, but he was hurt despite his own denials.

The two of them were so busy the last couple of weeks leading up to the fiasco in the field that caused Annie her job and Ryan's operatives. They saw little of each other outside of mission prep. When they were together he had been pressuring her to get a move on with their wedding and she found herself pulling away. She began to feel unwell a day before the mission, but brushed it aside.

This was good, thought Annie, leaving him angry was a good thing. She needed him to get angry to stay angry so she could walk away.

"Eyal and I are just friends, good friends. I've known him my entire career as an operative and we've always looked out for each other. But that's all. We're friends." It was a dig that she knew would hurt Ryan.

"Oh, do friends sleep in each other's arms?"

"I can't do this again. Good bye Ryan," said Annie as she made her second attempt to walk out the door.

"Wait, wait, just wait. Come back in and I'll fix us some dinner." It was his demanding tone that irritated her. He was telling and not asking. He figured if he could get her to stay, they could reconnect on some level.

"We've done this already, we've gone over it and over it and it just makes us say things we can't take back," said Annie picking up the last bag.

She looked at him. He was hurt. So hurt. She was too, but hers was as artificial self-inflicted pain. She knew what she was doing, she was in control she kept telling herself. It was the only way.

She put down her bag and she walked back towards him. She lifted her head up to reach his lips while holding his face gently.

"It was great when it was great. I gave as much as I know how to give," whispered Annie.

He took her hands from his face and squeezed them. "I believe we can be great again," he said softly while stroking her hands with his thumbs. It was the softest tone he had taken with her in days. They hadn't been physically close to each other in more than two weeks, he felt his desire for her magnify in him, he wanted her still. He wanted her to stay, he imagined taking her to their bedroom as he pulled her to him and kissed her intensely. Annie returned his kiss and both began to breath heavily. Ryan began to lift her t-shirt and his hand started to make its way up her sides before Annie stopped him. She took his hand off her body and said, "Too much has happened," as tears fell down her cheeks. She turned away and walked to her car.

"I don't want this to be our good-bye. I need to know you are okay," said Ryan with sadness. "You never told me what the doctor said."

"I'm okay," she said as she opened her car door and shoved her bag into the passenger seat. He remained unconvinced.

Annie drove off while watching him through the rearview mirror. She wiped away her tears and regained her composure before she dialed a number on a burner phone.

"It's done."

"A package is waiting for you at the drop site."

Annie hung up and drove to Eyal's apartment with a pit in her stomach. It was once her temporary home and would become so again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Ryan watched Annie's car drive away from their home before turning back inside. He paused and looked up briefly as if to ask God, "Why?"

How did he get here? Once inside he looked around. She gave life to his perfectly clean and minimally decorated home. They enjoyed entertaining friends and prominent figures in American intelligence. That bastard Eyal was even over thought Ryan when Annie decided to host a Seder since Eyal had to be away from home for Passover. He should have known something was going on between them then. He hated it when Eyal would launch into Hebrew as a way of shutting him out and his nickname for her irked him to no end. He learned what it meant recently and it was like a stab in the gut to know that Eyal thought of her in that way. He was jealous of their shared histories and the closeness it brought them.

He went to what was their bedroom and opened up her drawers, they were all empty and seeing that in reality was like being gut punched. Their master closet was half full now. It looked sad, it took him ages to clear out his wife's things from their apartment when she died. Probably years to get rid of her things and in small places around the house he still had items that reminded him of her, a painting she had always liked, a chair they bought for their first apartment, some crystals that were part of their wedding registry. But there were no signs of Annie anywhere. It was like she had never been there. She was a spy after all and trained to disappear. Maybe he was the fool to think she would stay put.

God it pissed him off to see her give up on them. She never gave up in the field. The last operation was example enough of her doggedness. If it weren't for Jim, she would also be in that God forsaken country without a lifeline. He was at least grateful that she was stateside and safe. If something had happened to her on that last mission, he never would have forgiven himself. It wasn't easy knowing that Fitz and Dex, two of his best operatives were in some hell hole in Syria, but he thanked God everyday since Annie came home that she was safe. His contact screwed them, the intel was bad and led to a trap for the team. He would never forgive himself for that.

A week ago. . .

Annie was at the end of a mission gathering intelligence at the Syrian border as part of a joint operation between the DPD and McQuaid Securities. She and the rest of the men were acting as missionaries sent to work with refugees. They received bad intel from Ryan's contact which led to the capture of Fitz and Dex. The only reason Annie and Jim weren't with him was because she felt ill and collapsed while pursuing their targets. Jim had to administer her nitrate medication, something she had not needed in about a year, but still carried as a precaution. She and Jim hid out in an abandoned church basement while Fitz and Dex went on with the plan. By the time the extraction team arrived as back-up Fitz and Dex were long gone, they had walked into atrap.

Annie wanted to go back for Fitz and Dex but Jim had to physically restrain her and force her onto the helicopter. Jim wanted to go back for Fitz and Dex too, but he knew they would all be screwed if they had. He was able to maintain emotional distance and think clearly.

What happened wasn't Annie's fault and ironically her condition is what saved her and Jim from being captured along with Fitz and Dex. It was the first episode she had since Argentina which was over a year ago. She went on a course of antibiotics after their return and it seemed to have improved her myocarditis. Annie felt blindsided by the episode. A condition of her continued employment as an operative was that as long as her illness was managed and treated and didn't affect missions. Even though the latest episode had no bearing on the outcome of the mission, Ryan didn't see it that way.

Annie tried to convince Ryan to keep her recent episode a secret from Joan, but he refused. It resulted in a colossal argument after Annie returned home. With no where to go, she left their shared home for Eyal's apartment. Things got worse when Ryan showed up there and found Annie asleep with Eyal. Nothing had happened. They both just fell asleep while talking about old times and Annie's next steps. But Ryan was in no mood to hear any of the explanations and things deteriorated for the couple. Ryan had been under a tremendous amount of pressure and stress. He wanted to get Fitz and Dex out, but the State Department and CIA were shutting him out.

In reality, Annie went to Eyal not just to escape fighting with Ryan. She wasn't going to get support from the CIA, at least not outward support. Going to Eyal was really about going to Mossad for help to get the captured men out. She was doing it all for Ryan, for his operatives. But she knew he wouldn't support her efforts given how he reacted when he learned about her episode.

Making a deal with Mossad was the only way to get to Fitz and Dex. Creating a scene where Ryan accepted their break-up was one of the hardest things Annie had to do, but honestly he made it easy for her by not supporting her with Joan. The whole situation was messed up on so many levels, but there was no time to dwell on it. Annie needed to get her head in the game.

After Annie unloaded her boxes at a storage unit in Vienna, she drove to Eyal's D.C. apartment. One last night of rest before she would set off for Syria by way of Greece to rendezvous with Eyal. Annie was physically and emotionally exhausted, she couldn't wait to go to bed. The first part of her mission was complete and that involved severing all ties to McQuaid and quitting the CIA.


	3. Chapter 3

Ryan dialed Jim's phone. "Any news?" asked the voice on the other end.

"Nada," replied Ryan.

"How's your girl?"

"She packed up and cleared out."

"Sorry man. She was good for you. I thought you two would make it."

"You and me both. Listen, I need you to look in on her."

There is hesitation on the other end. Jim mutters under his breath before he says,

"As your friend, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's a terrible idea, it's not going to get her back and it's just plain messed up man."

"I'll text you the address."

"Shit Ryan, really, this is what you're putting me on?"

"I just want to know that she's okay and where she's headed. After that you can help me track down that bastard Bruno."

Ryan's new angle was to track down the SOB who screwed him, it wasn't going to bring his boys back per se, but he couldn't sit on his ass and do nothing. He wasn't wired that way. The CIA and the State Department never said his former asset was off limits. The man had been a steady source of reliable intel for years. Ryan knew someone must have gotten to him for him to betray Ryan. He was going to do this right so he was planning on doing it himself.

"She's tough, she'll be fine," said Jim.

"Jim, please, just do this for me."

"Aye aye," says Jim reluctantly.

After he hangs up with Jim, Ryan texted him Eyal's address.

Jim watches as Annie takes care of errands before leaving the country. Annie goes to the bank, picks up a six month supply of meds, goes to a salon changes her hair style and color, packs and then hails a cab to the Dulles later that evening.

Jim receives a call from Annie's cell. "You need to work on your spycraft."

"Guess I'm busted." Annie let him follow her.

"Tell Ryan if he doesn't cease and desist, I'm going to have to take out restraining order."

"He's really worried about you and if you want to know my opinion, he's heartbroken."

"He's the one who," started Annie. "Never mind, just tell him to leave me alone."

"I tried, but he put me on you and I'm on his payroll."

"I'm leaving the country, doubt you're ready and able to follow me."

"Come on Annie, what am I supposed to tell him?"

"Tell him I'm going vacation," said Annie as she hung up.

Annie was right, Jim couldn't follow her past security without his passport and credentials. He wasn't prepared for her to leave the country.

Annie meets with Eyal a day later in Turkey. Eyal managed to collect intel on Ryan's men and they crafted a plan to rescue Fitz and Dex with full Mossad support. When Annie gets to Fitz and Dex a few days later, both men are beaten and dehydrated, but happy to be freed. Annie arranges covers for the men and gives them detailed instructions on how to get out of Syria. She and Eyal get them to leave on boats with waves of refugees. It takes them days of travel among thousands of people, but they make their way to one of the Greek Isles where Annie makes sure American intelligence picks up on their whereabouts.

Nearly a week later, Ryan is called to Langley. No one tells him what it is about and he resents being ordered there. He was still working on tracking down the asset who screwed him and wallowing about Annie. Once there he learns that his captives got out of Syria on refugee boats. He can't believe they were able to escape. They are hospitalized, dehydrated, bruised, but alive.

"How in the hell?" Ryan asked Joan. "Don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic and can't wait to call their families, but how were you able to do it?"

"It wasn't the CIA, it looks just sheer luck."

Ryan can't believe it. Neither can Joan. They discuss intel they did have. None of it makes much sense. "Apparently there was some sort of explosion near their place of captivity and they capitalized on it. Your men are well trained."

Ryan wanted to tell Annie the good news, she would have wanted to know. But the number he had for her no longer worked, he had tried it already a few times after Jim lost Annie at Dulles.

Ryan asks Joan. "Have you spoken to Walker recently?"

"No, we aren't on speaking terms in case you missed the memo. She declined the job I offered her with the Russian desk."

"I want to share the good news with her, maybe have a celebratory drink, but her number no longer is in service."

"I'm not surprised. She wasn't too thrilled with you."

"So you don't have a contact for her?"

Joan looked puzzled. "No, isn't she at home?"

"Home? No, she packed up and left about a week ago."

"Annie left as in she left D.C and you?" Joan was puzzled. She usually gets alerts when operatives leave the country. Then she realized Annie wasn't her operative anymore.

"She wouldn't tell me where she was heading, said she may try teaching?"

Ryan looked surprised. "She didn't mention the job offer."

"Did you ask? Seems like you've been pretty preoccupied."

"How did she look the last time you saw her?"

"She was upset."

He had been preoccupied with tracking down Fitz and Dex. When Annie returned he was glad to see her and though she looked tired, he took her word for it when she said she was fine and that it was food poisoning that did her in and not her heart condition. She joked that Jim wasted a nitrate injection on her.

"Can I see her medical report?"

"Ryan, we go back and you were invited here as a courtesy. I'm glad they are safe, but I can't do you any more favors here."

"Thank you for letting me in on this, I appreciate it greatly and won't forget it."

"Don't make any waves McQuaid."

Ryan leaves and Joan stares out the window. "What have you been up to Annie Walker?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Annie?" asked Fitz as he was led outside through the haze of smoke and chaos. It was noisy and there was a ringing in his ears. The woman whose voice he recognized as Annie Walker looked different. She had on a head covering, but he saw wisps of brown hair coming through.

"It's Ayaan until we get to safety, now put this over your clothes and drink this fast," said Annie in hushed tones handing him a Thawb, a robe commonly worn in the region and a bottle of electrolyte water. Once he put it on, Annie handed him a bottle of spray tan and a keffiyeh, a scarf to wrap his head. He knew what to do and despite feeling weakened, he completed his tasks while Annie listened to what was going on outside and confirmed that Eyal was successful.

"Let's move quickly," she ordered.

"I'm not leaving Dex here," said Fitz firmly.

"He's on the move already, it's better to travel separately, let's go," said Annie as she shoved a bag into Fitz's hands. If anyone asks, your name is "Hamid and we just lost our two year old so we're leaving, there's no future for us here."

Fitz didn't move right away. He was stunned. It was like a dream, in fact he had fantasized about his rescue. Annie herself had flashbacks to her time in a Russian prison and briefly she remembered how she was also paralyzed at first when Eyal broke her out. It took her some time to grasp what was happening and get her bearings back. She wondered if she ever recovered after her stint in the Russian cell.

Annie snapped herself out of it and grabbed Fitz below shoulders. She said firmly, "Trust me and we'll both get out of here, we need to leave now and you need to do the leading. We're going to walk east as quickly as we can and follow the crowds." She shook him again. "You want to go home to your wife and kids right?"

Fitz nodded. He visualized various scenes with his family and willed strength to his wife. He imagined reading to his son and tucking him in. He wondered if he would live to meet his new baby.

"We need to walk fast."

With that Fitz began moving out of the alley towards the street.

"We're right behind you. Meet you in 48 hours," said Annie before cutting communications.

Annie picked up supplies stashed in a beaten up stroller before they left the alley. They traveled together as a couple named Ayann and Hamid. They spoke little and kept to themselves so as to draw little attention to themselves. Annie made sure to keep Fitz hydrated. "You need to drink some yourself."

"I'm okay."

"Ryan with Dex? I knew the bossman would come through."

"The less we speak the better," whispered Annie. She didn't want anyone to overhear them speaking English even though they spoke in hushed tones.

They made it across the border to Turkey where they are safer, but still not out of the woods. It takes them another day before they are ready to board boats for Greece. Mossad's resources, contacts and safe houses came in handy during their journey. Along the way it is painful and agonizing for Annie to see the thousands of refugees who are less fortunate and don't have the resources or support she had to lead Fitz out. So many people were suffering and mourning. She wished she could help all of them leave. When she can, she spares some food and towards the end, Annie gives up what currency she has left and her coat to a young mother traveling with two children under three years.

Fitz and Annie make their rendezvous point with Eyal and Dex. Annie gives them directions and funds for how to move on their own and make contact with the American embassy in Athens once they reach Greece. "Wait, you're leaving? Who are we supposed to meet?"

"We kept the footprint small on this operation and opted to use regular channels for the last leg of your trip home."

"I don't understand, this doesn't sound like McQuaid's style."

"His style wasn't going to be possible in your predicament. The CIA and State Department blocked him from engaging in any rescue attempts. I've taken you as far as you needed to be safe."

"You're not going home with us?"

She shook her head.

"I need a favor."

"The way I look at it, I owe you more than one."

"I wasn't with you, you got out on your own. There was an explosion. You and Dex need to craft a story and stick to it. You'll have time to do that before you reach Athens."

"McQuaid didn't send you?"

Annie shook her head.

"Wait he wasn't the one who planned this?"

"You'll find out more, he would have if he could."

"Neshama, we need to go," interrupted Eyal.

"We weren't here," said Annie looking at both men. They nodded. Annie hugged them both and took off with Eyal.

As Ryan leaves Joan's office he makes a series of phone calls. He had a daily phone call with the families of both men who grew increasingly worried and at times upset with Ryan for not doing anything which in turn made him feel like crap. Still his men had good benefits and he made sure their families were well taken care of during their absence. Fitz was married with a young toddler at home and another on the way. Dex was single, but his sister and parents were constantly working angles with their congressmen and senators to get the State Department and even the President to do something about the hostage situation.

Next Ryan calls Jim and informs him of the good news too and asks him to hold down the fort. Jim is full of questions on who and how. "I'm wondering all the same things man," responded Ryan.

"I wish I could go with you, but I'll make sure there's a lot of beer and ribs waitin' for them when they get back," said Jim.

"Thanks Jim, and any new leads on where Annie? I know she'd like the hear the good news too."

"I hit a dead end, she left the country, but evaded detection, facial rec didn't pick her up at Dulles at all, sorry man, she is a spy afterall," said Jim.

"Never mind that for now. Make sure the plane's fueled up."

Ryan gives orders over the phone to ready his plane and then heads straight for the private air strip where he kept his planes. Both Fitz and Dex's families were invited to ride in his plane to reunite with the men. His men are being transported to the closest military hospital in Italy for care before debriefing and he wants to personally see to it that they are treated well. The time Ryan spends in the air is the same amount of time Annie and Eyal needed to leave Greece without a trace. The pair travel to the south of Spain to prepare for their new covers.

The mood is celebratory and happy when the families reunite at the Army Hospital. Ryan sits in on the debriefs with each man. Something about their story doesn't add up to him. How did they manage to hide themselves and travel undetected? Where did they get the currency to travel? He knew what it was like on the ground in Aleppo from reading daily intelligence reports. Ryan asked to see the clothing and items the men arrived with. He examined them. New hiking shoes, thick American made wool socks, neither readily available to Syrians. The clothes the men arrived in were similarly purchased in the west.

In a quiet moment alone Ryan and his operatives share a vintage whiskey to celebrate their freedom. He had questions and frankly he was surprised they didn't have any for him. They didn't ask what happened to Jim or Annie. They had been in the dark since their capture as far as he knew. So Ryan begins to ask questions. "Let's cut the crap it's just us boys," started Ryan.

Fitz and Dex look at each other.

"I want to know what really happened and how you got out."

"It's like how we told it, there was an explosion and all of a sudden a wall was exposed, I struggled with the guard who came running in and overpowered him. I took his weapon, his clothes and his shoes and his wallet. Then I went searching for Dex."

"No one else was guarding the building or perimeter, you were high value prisoners."

"They were either injured or running out of the building, so we blended right in."

"It doesn't add up. How did you manage to collect enough money and supplies? Fitz your Arabic is barely passable and yours is worse than his," said McQuaid pointing his thumb over at Fitz.

"You're the one who made the promises not me," said Dex.

"What promises?"

Silence and tension fill the room.

"Look boss, we're here, we got out, that's what counts right?"

"What are you boys hiding? I want to show some gratitude for the boys who saved your butts, don't you?"

Dex downs his whiskey and spits it out, "It was Annie and her Israeli friend."

Fitz looks over at Dex with a, 'what the hell?' look.

Dex said, "Come on man, he deserves to know what she did for us. She deserves the credit."

Ryan was puzzled, he hadn't felt this blindsided since Caitlyn. The information was sinking in. Suddenly every detail of every interaction he had with Annie since she came back from the botched mission came back to him. He was quiet for a long time, pacing the room and running his thumb across the rest of his fingers. Watching him made Fitz and Dex nervous.

Ryan replayed everything that happened since Annie returned. Step-by-step, he recalls details and concludes, she knew what she was doing and had planned all along to go back for his guys. God, how could he be so stupid? She had to sever ties with the CIA and with him in order to go after his operatives. How could he not see it? He was told to stand down or else his contracts and reputation would be on the line. She did this for him. She risked her health and her life and went in with little back up except that SOB Eyal. He was impressed by her resourcefulness yet again and her dedication to him and his operatives, but he was also pissed off at her for cutting him out of the picture. He supposed he was too preoccupied to realize that Annie would never have let it go. It wasn't in her nature and he fell right into her plan. First call he was going to make was to Joan Campbell.

Finally he asked Fitz and Dex, "When and where did you last have contact with her?"

At least 48 hours ago in Greece.

"Can't you just call her?" asked Fitz.

Ryan shook his head. "We aren't together anymore, she left D.C. more than a week ago."

"Was she with Eyal?"

Fitz nodded.

"Shit, did the mission and our capture have something to do with your break-up?"

"Was she healthy?"

Dex shrugged, "Fitz is the one who spent the most time with her."

"She was fine man. I had to keep up with her."

"You two write down the real version of what happened and I'll expect it before you go home," ordered McQuaid.


	5. Chapter 5

Joan's Office

Joan tasked Eric Barber with tracking down Annie after she learned from Ryan McQuaid that he last spoke to Annie a week ago and could no longer reach her.

Barber entered Joan's office bright and early along with his usual nervous energy. This time, it was accompanied by a smidgen of excitement and eagerness.

He had found something late the previous night and had been sitting on it all night. Eric was hopped up on Red Bull and just had his morning coffee, magnifying his usual jitteriness. After he got a hit the previous night, he couldn't stop looking. He ended up taking a "nap" on the floor of his office at 3 a.m. with his camping sleep pad that he stored under his desk for times such as the one he encountered last night.

Joan had a soft spot for Barber despite her impatience with him at times. The tech guys where the unsung heroes of the CIA.

"Annie was hard to track, ma'am, but a partial profile of her turned up on CCTV in . . . .wait for it. . . Dubai!" he spat out.

Joan wasn't normally expressive, but Barber who wasn't particularly astute when it came to facial cues thought he saw his boss's eyes widened.

Barber continued when Joan remained silent while questions ran through her head.

"After that, I did some more digging. . . and I found that her trip originated from . . . Cordoba, Spain," said Barber with starts and stops.

Joan continued to remain silent as her wheels turned. She knew Mossad had operational support systems in place in the south of Spain.

"She had a companion." Ba-bam, thought Eric as he grinned ear to ear. It was his best piece of intel, his reward for the all-nighter he pulled. That info told him where to focus his research.

"Let me guess, Eyal Lavin?" said Joan.

Barber nodded while still wearing his grin.

"She's working for Mossad, damn it Annie!" muttered Joan under her breath, she wanted to be wrong, but a visual of Annie with Eyal proved the Mossad connection.

"I started with Lavin's movements and one thing led to another and then I found myself sprawled out on the floor. . ."

Joan raised an eyebrow.

"I remembered that Lavin was once Kidon and after some uh digging, I found that he was recently ordered back to Kidon," said Eric.

That doesn't sound good thought Joan. Mossad's Kidon branch was it's elite force and their missions were clouded in secrecy and highly guarded. Their main missions involved interrogation and assassinations of high level targets. The last mission Mossad's Kidon carried out in the UAE involved nearly 30 Mossad operatives and left a diplomatic mess for Israel, but Mossad accomplished their goal of killing a high level Hamas commander. If Eyal and Annie were in the UAE, it was because Mossad was after someone big.

Joan let out a huge sigh and given that she always chose her words carefully and acted with discipline, she thought expletives in her head. There was no need to alarm an already agitated Barber.

"If Annie is with Eyal, then she's up to ears in whatever he's doing there, but at least it means she's not alone."

"What else do you have?"

"Uh, um, that was it, ma'am."

Joan suddenly remembered her role as a leader. Her people needed encouragement.

"Excellent work Eric, thank you. Why don't you take the rest of the day off."

"Thank you ma'am, but I've got momentum and want to keep digging and looking through the various CCTV feeds in the UAE."

"Do that, but not at the expense of your other projects. And keep it between us for now."

"I can program and run an algorithm so it really isn't work. . . "

Joan gave him that look, the look that said she didn't need details.

The second Eric Barber left her office, Joan picked up the phone and dialed Rivka Singer. It was the end of their workday in Israel and Joan hoped Rivka was still reachable.

There were a few pleasantries exchanged between the two women who were both once covert operatives themselves with covers in the Eastern Block countries before and during the fall of communism. Both worked their way up in a male dominated environment. Both currently held powerful positions at their respective agencies.

Naturally Rivka wasn't initially forthcoming with information. Joan expected that. She'd do the same if their roles were reversed.

"And why to you care so much for that girl? I'm told she didn't leave, she was fired! A disgrace!" said Rivka.

Rivka was always known to be hotheaded and she spoke her mind with little filters.

Joan took a deep breath before responding, "Annie Walker wasn't fired, she was removed from the field due to her health. Rivka, I know you know this, she's one of the most capable and stellar agents we've produced, which is why Mossad recruited her."

There was silence at the other end.

"Annie, as you know has worked closely and very well with your operative Eyal Lavin on a number of joint operations."

"Many of which were unsanctioned or involved my operative saving yours."

"I believe there was a quid pro quo and Annie saved Eyal just as many times as he saved her. But I'm not calling to tally a score."

"Why are you calling then?"

"I'm worried about Annie."

Rivka knew very little actually about Annie's whereabouts after Mossad assisted in the rescue of McQuaid's operatives. True, Eyal came to her with a proposal to offer Annie a role at Mossad. Rivka never liked Annie, but she respected her work and owed her a debt of gratitude for helping Eyal in the past. Rivka had her reservations about Annie, but she agreed to give her limited clearance and the job of an entry level operative. She just didn't like to admit it to Joan Campbell. When her superiors found out they jumped on the chance to procure a recruit with Annie's language skills and reputation. The next thing she knew Annie was no longer one of hers. Then her prized operative Eyal Lavin was transferred out from her department, a decision she had little say in, she lost her inside line into both Lavin and Walker's missions.

On the other end Joan heard Rivka mutter Hebrew under her breath.

"Mossad is well aware of Ms. Walker's condition. She had a full physical before she officially joined Mossad."

"She's involved in something dangerous isn't she?"

"I don't have details and even if I did. . ."

"Is the rumor true that Eyal is now back with Kidon?"

There was a pause on the other end. Joan could read Rivka from across the thousands of miles. She knew Rivka's place on Mossad's org chart. She probably knew something.

"You're worried about him aren't you?"

"An Israeli's sense of worry is different than your American notion of that emotion. I am not dwelling on it, whatever he has been tasked with is his destiny," said Rivka with a heaviness in her voice.

"And Annie is with him," stated Joan.

"You can come to that conclusion if you wish."

"Will you let your superiors know that if there's anything Langley can do to lend a hand in their mission, I'm willing to hear them out."

"I doubt your assistance will be needed, but thank you."

The phone call ends.

Joan accepts that there isn't much she can do about Annie. She made a decision as her boss and took her out of the field. That decision alienated them yet again. At the end of the day, she wasn't surprised by Annie's next move. It was predictable actually. Joan should have known better. Annie just couldn't be contained neatly to a desk. It was futile for her to have tried. Joan's concerns mainly stemmed from what it meant for Annie. Working for Kidon on a mission in Dubai? Joan didn't need details to know Annie put herself in a dangerous situation.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

A/N: Thanks for reading. It's a busy time of year, but trying to put time in when I can. I don't own these characters. Thanks goes to CA Writers. Please review and enjoy!

Ever since his operatives were taken prisoner Ryan McQuaid was running on empty. As a man accustomed to being in control, it was killing him to sit back and stay out of the fray. But orders and threats were made. He understood "chain of command," but it didn't mean he liked it. Leaving it up to the men in suits to secure the release of his men made him feel resentful, impatient and helpless. Ryan cozied up to diplomats and politicians when he had to, but he didn't trust or respect their abilities to do the job efficiently. If he had his way he would have executed a covert mission with a few good men and assault weapons. But without air support and backing from Langley, there was no way. Ryan was still trying to make sense of how Annie was able to free his operatives.

Ryan was on edge and it was exacerbated by his break-up with Annie and inability to get a hold of her. He knew based on Fitz's account that she was in Greece. She disappeared after that. He should have seen right through her that day she packed up her last bags and left him. She was never one to give up and from the moment he met her she showed herself to be fierce and her righteous indignation at what she deemed injustices was similar to his own.

At the time, he couldn't understand why she fought so hard to stay in the field or why her health mattered so little to her. He wanted to spend a long lifetime with her and it seemed she was willing to take risks that would leave him mourning her loss even before they were married. She always worried about him and expressed concern over losing him, but when he did the same she balked. Of course he admitted making the decision to tell Joan despite Annie's protests is what caused their relationship to deteriorate. It was such a stressful time those first few days and looking back, he regretted his choices.

When Annie returned Ryan didn't admit to her that he was scared to death of losing her and that feeling was compounded after the mission. The only emotion he seemed to display was anger and frustration. He wondered why it seemed like she had a death wish or at the very least some insatiable need to prove herself. Part of him felt like remaining an operative was the excuse she needed to endlessly postpone planning their wedding. She rarely opened herself up to him and when he saw her with Eyal, a man she seemed to think understood and accepted her in a way he didn't, jealousy took over. _Finding out that Annie planned and executed the rescue of his operatives with Eyal's support forced him to confront some ugly truths about himself._

A couple of days passed, quiet and calm came after Fitz and Dex were back in their respective homes. It was during those times alone after the homecoming parties-when he wished included Annie—when he reflected on his misplaced anger, which he took out on her and his jealousy and distrust. He came to see his patronizing treatment of her when he impulsively called Joan and told her that Annie's health was a detriment to her work as an operative. God, how he wished he could have seen through her at the time. Did she play him? Was she distancing herself from the mission to protect him and McQuaid Securities. That was the Annie he knew. That made sense.

Annie was never the sort to stand down. He was too busy feeling betrayed and ashamed that he couldn't protect his operatives to remember who she was. At the time, the only thing that mattered to him concerning Annie was that she was safe and healthy. He didn't care about her career, it was second to her being safe and that was his mistake. He had forgotten her—he had lost track of the woman he fell in love with. Her job was important to her. It was her life. He once told her she was wired for mission and there was nothing wrong with that. Ryan lost sight of those words the more invested he became with her. The distant feeling of loss and grief bubbled up and he didn't want them to surface. Losing his wife almost killed him and he was quite sure losing Annie would bring him back to that dark place so perhaps there was truth to him tanking her career. He heard her words echo in his head. He hurt her deeply and he knew it.

Ryan read and reread both Fitz and Dex's accounts of their rescue from the hands of ISIS forces in Syria. As he read their words he pictured Annie's confident and methodical actions. By their accounts she was in control, but there was no way she was able to escort them out of the complicated social and political environment alone. Even with Eyal Lavin's help, rescuing the men required resources he doubted the pair could procure on their own. She was either still working for Langley or some black bag division and had full support from the CIA or she was getting that same support from Mossad. Ryan hoped to God it was the former and she was still under the wings of the CIA. There was only one person he could go to for answers.

 **Office of Joan Campbell**

"I don't have much time, what can I do for you?"

"Joan, I want to run something by you."

"What's that?"

"My men have been debriefed by the CIA, did you come across anything unusual?"

"What would be unusual?"

"The State Department, Pentagon and you folks here aren't coming after me for violating orders to stand down."

"And that's a gift that you shouldn't squander."

"Drones, Joan. I know it was a drone strike that allowed my men to escape. I'm trying to figure out who got them out. Annie was there."

Joan got up and closed her door. She was buying time to figure out how to play things with Ryan.

"You don't look surprised, so does that mean the drone originated from us? Is Annie coming home?"

"You're going to need to let this go."

"She sacrificed her health and her job to go in there. And I know she did it for me. She went because I couldn't. Don't you feel responsible in the slightest?"

"Annie went in eyes wide open," said Joan shaking her head.

"Do you know how to locate Eyal Lavin?"

Joan to Ryan in a harsh and authoritative tone, "You were told to stand down at the time and that still goes."

"I did everything that was asked of me and you know how hard it was for me, but if you sent Annie in, don't you think that as her boyfriend I deserved to know?"

"You're not privy to all our covert operations and let me tell you one more time that Annie doesn't work for me anymore. I had no hand in what happened and I suggest that you drop it."

"Do you know where she is?" He wasn't giving up and he knew that the CIA continued to keep tabs on former operatives. They would always be vulnerable in various ways.

"How many times do I have to repeat myself?" said Joan in utter frustration.

"Something is off Joan."

"What do you mean?" She wondered what he knew. He was pretty well tapped in, but no one knew what Barber found out but her. She didn't put it past him to have sources in Israel.

"I'm saying she's engaged in something dangerous. If she has Mossad's support through her connections to Lavin, she had to barter it for something. What the hell did she get herself into?"

"This is about your guilt and your conscience over your personal relationship. She's always going to be engaged in something dangerous as a spy."

"You said she's not working for you," Ryan shot back.

"And she isn't."

"For the love of God Joan, what do you know?"

Joan remained silent.

"You fired her because of her health. Aren't you worried about her?"

"I didn't fire her, I took her out of the field based on your assessment and information. The official story on your operatives is they escaped on their own."

"I don't give a rat's ass about the official story Joan, I just want to talk to Annie, so I can . . . I need to. . .will you you help me?" pleaded Ryan. He had so much he wanted to say to Annie. So much to apologize for.

Joan sighs. "I know Annie and if I'm right, she doesn't want to be found, at least not yet. And that means she's working on something big and has her reasons. Reasons I trust. She has gone off the grid before."

Ryan looked desperate. He loved her and it showed. He rubbed the stubble on his face and chin that had grown over the last couple of weeks.

"You gotta give me something, I know you know something."

"If you keep after her, you may endanger her. Is that what you want?"

"Endanger her? Damn it Joan, what do you know?"

"She's no longer working for me, can you make a leap based on that? That's all I can offer you."

"She did what she did for me and my men. Whatever she's doing it's because of me Joan."

"I know it's hard to wait when someone you love is in harm's way, but you've done it before while she's been on missions."

Ryan looks out the window and stretches his neck. "This time is different, I said things to her, she doesn't know I'm still on the other end waiting for her."

"Just go on with your life Ryan."

Joan wasn't sure Annie would ever return because the CIA probably wouldn't allow her to come back to the States without sequestering her for endless debriefs. She was working for a foreign agency now, despite it being an ally of the U.S., Mossad was still looked upon with suspicion.

"We were supposed to build a life together and I messed that up."

"It's not easy to hold onto relationships in our line of work."

"I know," said Ryan sadly before he left Joan's office.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I don't own these characters or the events written previously by CA writers. Thank you for reading and for the kind reviews. It makes me happy knowing people are enjoying these musings. Let me know what you think. . . I'll try to work on the other stories too. On a roll with this one so will keep going.**

 **Chapter 7**

 **About a month later. . .**

 **Ryan and Arthur share a drink after a dinner hosting some members of the Senate Intelligence committee.**

"Well that was a success!" said Arthur enthusiastically as he lifted a glass to his boss Ryan McQuaid.

There was no verbal reaction from Ryan. All he did was take a sip of his whiskey after motioning his glass in Arthur's direction.

"Come on man!" said Arthur as he slapped McQuaid on the back heartily.

"$20 million in DOD contracts and a security gig for the committee's tour of Naval carriers during Thanksgiving? You should be happy Ryan! We're back on the upswing! We'll be in the red by Christmas!"

But Ryan barely cracked a smile. Arthur knew Ryan had been going through the motions. He worked just as hard as he ever did after Fitz and Dex returned safely, but the joy he once had was missing. Ever since he found out Annie made a deal with Mossad to help free his operatives, Ryan wasn't his fun-loving and upbeat self. He used to have a boyish excitement and eagerness that accompanied him to work everyday. Now, Arthur observed a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Ryan had asked Arthur for help to locate Annie. Arthur obliged though he didn't try as hard as he could because he knew Annie and how she worked. He and Joan spent many a dinner discussing what Annie could be up to and they concluded she would be back when she was done much like how she returned from her mission to take down Henry Wilcox.

"It's hard to be chipper when I don't know if Annie is dead or alive!" spat a frustrated Ryan.

"Now you're being dramatic, she's alive, I'm sure of it," said Arthur before he took another sip of his drink.

Now Ryan's interest was peaked. He stopped mid-sip and turned to face Arthur, "How do you know that?" he demanded.

"Annie is a superb agent, the type of operative with incredible instincts and at least nine lives. She can handle herself in the field. She's in her element. Worrying does no good to her and harms you my friend."

Way back over a year ago when Ryan first met Annie and was recruiting Arthur, he asked him about Annie. Arthur said, he knew her, but he never let on the extent to which he knew her and her history. At the time his son Teo's death was still raw for Arthur. When Annie returned, he met her for coffee to thank her for taking down Henry Wilcox, but mostly he wanted to hear about Teo's last days as a means towards closure. He was happy with Joan and his new son Mac, but the guilt of Teo's tumultuous childhood and their lost years as well as Teo's hatred and resentment towards Arthur haunted him at times.

Teo died unexpectedly in surgery and all that Arthur had left to say to his son went unsaid. It was a great comfort to him to hear from Annie that Teo wasn't alone after his gunshot wound. He was eternally grateful to her for getting him to a military hospital. Annie tried everything in her power to save him. She did more for her son than he could at the time. He then comforted Annie when she teared up during their meeting. She told him how much _guilt and regret_ she felt for stopping Teo from his clean shot at Henry. She apologized to him and said, lamenting that she should have let Teo kill Henry. "Maybe he'd still be alive," said Annie.

"Teo's death is Henry's fault, not yours. I blame Henry, not you," Arthur said to Annie.

Arthur truly didn't blame Annie in the least. He never wanted Henry dead, he wanted him brought to justice in a court of law, he wanted him deposed so his name could be cleared, but sometimes killing the virus was the only way. Arthur shared with Ryan what Annie did for his son and how the entire mission changed her. Ryan who listened attentively. He was surprised to learn the details of Arthur's son Teo, Wilcox's involvement in his mother's death, and Wilcox's feud with the Campbells. He always thought Henry was a son of a bitch and dirty, but he didn't realize how dirty.

"Henry used Annie when she was vulnerable. She had just returned from imprisonment in Russia followed by a hairy mission with Eyal. Then without more than a couple of days rest, she promptly lost a good friend, Jai, Henry's son. Henry blamed me for that of course and tried to twist what little he knew of Teo's involvement with the ALC to take me down and he succeeded. I managed to protect Joan," said Arthur after his second pour of whiskey. It was comforting for Arthur to talk about Teo with someone.

"You protected Joan by letting everyone think you had an affair. Arthur, I had no idea that was all fabricated to protect your family," said Ryan. He was learning so much that was news to him.

"And you hired me anyway, and I thank you."

"I guess I have good instincts too. So what happened after Teo died?" Ryan had a pretty good idea, but since his former mentor was being so forthcoming he wanted to let him do the talking.

Arthur thought for a few seconds before speaking.

"The deeper Annie delved into the past, my past and Henry's past, the more she uncovered about Henry's reach and plans. Auggie was involved too and it became harder for her to remove herself. She saw how wide Henry's power and desire for revenge went. You know Annie. She will do everything she can for the people she cares about. She didn't intend to kill Henry, but somewhere along the way she realized it was the only way to end it."

"So let me get this straight, she was the one who took out Wilcox? Jesus Christ Arthur! Rumors that it was more than an alleyway mugging were true! And it was Annie? And she spent time in a Russian prison?" asked a shocked Ryan.

A ton of questions swirled in his head. He was learning more about Annie in this short conversation with Arthur than he did after a year of co-habitating with Annie.

"She and Calder cooked up a plan after she convinced him that Wilcox was the true enemy. They didn't set out to kill Henry, just to smoke him out and look for evidence against him and linking him to terrorist events. Not even Auggie could talk her out of it by then. The stakes were too high. Joan and I were out of the loop. Annie wanted it that way for our own safety and deniability, so we really believed she was dead. Joan took it very hard. She was still pregnant with Mac."

Arthur remembered more dark details of his stabbing and Joan's near murder. Chills went up his spine as he took another sip of his third whiskey.

"So she made the tough choice to abandon her family."

"And Auggie."

Ryan looked surprised again. He knew that Auggie and Annie were close, he was her handler since she joined the CIA. He knew she cared for him like a brother, but never did she let on that they were once a couple.

"What?"

" he never told you about her relationship with Auggie?"

"She didn't speak much about her past. When I first met her, she kept saying she didn't mix business and pleasure, she's making more and more sense to me now."

"Well, she probably didn't want to lie to you. It was the lies and half- truths Auggie had to tell that doomed them. I'm to blame. I ordered Auggie not to tell her about his missions with Teo. I was trying to protect Joan and myself but who's to know. She and Auggie may not have lasted long if let alone. Auggie has his own baggage."

"That's a lot to take in Arthur. Do you ever wonder how she can sustain this way of life? I mean it robs her of a life, happiness, and . . ."

"It's safe to say Annie Walker is a very different person from the young lady who first walked into the halls of Langley. But you know these are the sacrifices agent like her make single day. It's what keeps our country safe. I call it noble."

"This job has broken her time and time again, I don't understand why she keeps doing it."

"It wasn't easy for her out on her own with only Calder as her lifeline. I think losing the support of her sister and killing Henry changed her forever. Then her heart condition. . . but I know she found a measure of happiness with you. She never would have spent that year with you if she didn't. Annie doesn't do anything she doesn't want to do."

Ryan nodded as a pit developed in his stomach. "But she did dump my sorry ass and packed up and left without telling me her plan. She was so angry with me for telling Joan and I wonder how much of that was real. I hope it was an act, but I now realize I don't really know her at all."

"Aw. Come on. Stop that. You know _important things_ about her. None of her choices have been easy. You know she puts others before herself, she's resourceful, she's determined. She will turn up when she's good and ready."

"You think she will come back before Christmas?"

"That I don't know, but she always finds her way, she made her way back before, she will do it again. Her compass is her love for this country."

"But at what cost?" asked Ryan. "I think that love damaged her soul. One could argue she never recovered from her time isolated."

"But it's what made her the person she has become. It's what made her the gal you fell for," said Arthur.

Ryan wanted to hear more about Annie. She told him so little about herself and what she did tell him seemed to be sanitized versions of herself. Perhaps Arthur was right. She didn't want to lie to him. Instead, she said as little as possible. Gave as little as possible. She gave as much as she could. He remembered her saying that.

"To Annie's success and your continued success," said Arthur.

"I'll drink to that," said Ryan with a smile.

"Atta boy!" said Arthur.

"Tell me about her stint in the Russian prison," asked Ryan. He remembered saving her from Ivan Kravec who was going to transport her to Moscow. Would that have been the second time she was taken by Russians? At the time he thought Kravec wanted her because he found out she stole information on Kredit Krepost's clients. It turns out there was much more to the story according to Arthur's slip up.

"I've already revealed too much. Maybe one day she'll tell you," slurred Arthur.

"Let's get your home to your wife and son," said Ryan.

After Ryan dropped Arthur off, he went to his empty house.


	8. Chapter 8

Notes: Here's another chapter for your enjoyment. Please review and let me know what you think. Jumping Back in Time to show how things developed with Mossad. Back in DC before Annie took off and before the rescue of McQuaid operatives.

Annie returned to her home, the one she shared with Ryan after a dressing down by Joan Campbell for not putting her collapse in the field in her after action report. As a consequence Joan took her field operative status away and offered her a desk job. Joan lectured Annie. She expected more from her now, she thought they got past their disagreements and miscommunications and had reached a new understanding about working together.

"Come on Joan! I didn't have an episode, it was a stomach bug, what happened had no impact on the mission so I didn't see it necessary to put it in the God damn report."

"I don't see it that way and neither will the DNI. This is not just about your physical health, it's about the fact that you felt the need to omit mission facts from your report. It's a slippery slope with you and I don't want to go down that path again."

"I have done superb work for you, I always get the job done."

"Yes, you have and you can continue to do so at Langley. Go home, take a vacation, it's been awhile. Come back in a week when you're ready to work."

"I can't rest when so much is going on. Don't take me out now. I want in on whatever op is being planned to get the boys out."

"Annie, this is it, I went to bat for you with the DNI. There were conditions for you to continue in the field and there isn't going to be an op."

"What? We're not doing a thing?"

"McQuaid is going to be told to stand down. And you are out of this. Go Home!"

"But. . . what am I supposed to do there?"

"Get checked out by a doctor, plan your wedding, sleep and eat? That enough ideas for you?"

"That was a rhetorical question, but, thanks," said Annie sarcastically as she left.

/

Joan's reprimands came out of left field for Annie, now she had a gigantic ax to grind with her fiancé. As she drove to her home since she agreed to marry him about a year ago, she went over what she would say to him, but she was _too livid_ to think straight. When she arrived home, the house was a buzz with activity. McQuaid's home became a temporary command center with some of his best guys planning a rescue on the off chance that he was able to get back to Syria. As always, Ryan wanted to be prepared.

Annie entered and immediately pulled him into the kitchen where she hammered into him for going behind her back. The muffled arguing could be heard throughout the house. Never once in their year together had they had such a colossal fight. Aside from disagreeing over football teams and where and how to vacation, they were a well matched couple with similar interests and temperaments. Meanwhile the chaos of phones ringing and Jim trying to manage things comes to a head and he poked his head in to tell Ryan that he's needed. The State Department was on the line.

Both Ryan and Annie are too stubborn to see each other's point of view. Annie goes to their bedroom and packs her go bag with bare essentials. She's too angry to stay there with him and since he wasn't at all taking her seriously it drove her to usual fallback, _to get out of there_. Ryan went to the bedroom where he saw Annie remove a few items including cash from the safe he had installed for her when she moved in. She shoved the items in her bag.

"Where are you going because I hope it's to your cardiologist to get checked out," barked Ryan.

"Anywhere, but here. I can't even look at you now."

"You know I did the right thing Walker, it could you be over there, do you grasp that? You could be there having God knows what done to you," he shuddered to think of the possibility that she was the one caught.

"But I'm not, I'm here and I feel horrible that I'm not there."

"You're safe, you're home Annie. Be grateful."

"Grateful, you want me to be grateful to you? I don't need a hero Ryan. Damn it, you are being so patronizing right now."

"Well you needed a hero that day and thank God Jim hauled your ass out of there."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"Uh Boss, actually, I just kept her from getting off the helo . . . "

"Shut up!" they both say.

"You had no right to tell Langley anything about me."

"You're not well, you collapsed."

"For the last time I didn't collapse. I never lost consciousness. _I was fine. I am fine_."

"Are you? Are you really? You look like shit Walker. Jim will you drive her to her cardiologist? Annie, you're going to go in. I'll have Costa call and tell them to expect you."

Annie was red with anger. Did he really just tell her she looked horrible? What the hell thought Annie to herself.

"I don't take fucking orders from you, you bastard."

He couldn't keep this up, his phone was ringing off the hook. God he was pissed off at her for being so cavalier about her own health.

"You know what, this is over. If there's any good to come out of this whole thing, it's that I see what a cocky chauvinistic asshole you really are. All that talk about how no one can tell me how to feel and how everyone deserves a secret was all bullshit. You just want someone to fit into your predictable and well-controlled life. That's not me."

"Uh, the State Department is still on the line," said Jim.

"Annie, I don't have time for this right now and you're twisting everything."

She stormed out.

Ryan was pissed, but he didn't have time to deal with Annie or his own emotions about everything that happened. He was still trying all avenues to get his men out and simultaneously planning for a team to go back to Syria.

The call from State was about orders coming down for Ryan to stand down. None of his planes would be allowed to leave. He was told the issue of his men would be handled by the diplomats and it was a huge blow to him. He called the families personally to let them know.

With that news, he set out to track down Annie. He didn't feel good about how she left.

Annie drove around before going to Eyal's apartment. They had an unspoken agreement. She could use his pad whenever she needed. She looked in the fridge and took out a bottle of Lime flavored Pellagrino. She hadn't slept well since returning from Syria. She hadn't showered, only used some wipes and had a change of clothes. She drew a bath and lay in it replaying everything that happened. Thinking about what she could do. Afterwards, exhaustion hit her and she fell asleep for only about thirty minutes before stirring awake at the sound of someone in the apartment. Her bag with her firearm was in the living room. Damn it Annie she thought to herself. Haven't you learned? Always sleep with your weapon at your side! She quickly looked around for anything she could use to defend herself. She picked up a phone charger cord and quietly went behind the bedroom door before she heard a familiar voice.

"Neshema?"

"I didn't know you'd be here."

Eyal looked her over and said, "If I weren't back with my wife, I would totally. . ." he winked.

"Stop it, you're terrible."

"You're not the first one to say that."

The two friends hugged.

"What are you doing in DC?"

"Gathering some intel."

"Really? Here in D.C.?"

"My work takes me everywhere Neshema."

"You're not masquerading as an agent again are you?"

"Nothing like that."

"Then what?"

"The two men taken in Syria?" asked Eyal who knew already Annie was involved.

"Yes? What do you know about that?" asked Annie.

"Not missionaries I presume,"

"What are the chances?" Annie asked out loud.

"Given our history? The chances are high. Really quite predictable."

"McQuaid's men, I was there too."

Annie shook her head.

"What's Langley going to do?"

"So far not a thing."

"What?"

"They don't negotiate with terrorists and to do anything would say they are more than missionaries. We've not gotten involved in the past when missionaries get into hot water. It's all up to the state department."

"I bet your fiancé has a lot to say about that?"

"He's ready and planning to go in guns blazing."

"And you're here because he wouldn't let you go."

"It's more complicated than that," said Annie trying to keep her pain from showing through.

"I see."

Annie tells him what happened. "We were there to find and disarm some Iranian warheads that were in ISIS hands. We got them, but weren't able to get the dealer, at least not before. . ."

"Al-Zawi is the known weapons dealer."

"He's your mission?"

"Some weapons he sold were used recently in Israel."

"He sells to the higest bidder. Doesn't matter which side. He is sitting on some weapons and he uses them to control the situation in Syria. Word is he is trying to unload and retire."

He nodded. "Time is limited before he disappears."

"Well you now quite a bit more than you let on at first, why are you telling me all this? Don't you think your bosses at Mossad will mind just a bit?"

"Not if it helps me complete my mission."

"Can I use you if I let you use me? If you and by you I mean Mossad, help me get Ryan's men out. I'll help you put this guy away for good."

"I'm not going to nail him. My mission is to kill him."

Annie hesitates for a moment. She had done that before. Kill to end something. It took her a long time to find herself again after that.

"It's not your style Neshema, forget it."

"I can't, I need to help those guys."

"Let the diplomats deal with McQuaid's men."

"I don't think they have time. You above all know what they do to their prisoners."

"The men are more useful and rewarding to them alive."

"I can't do nothing, God damn him for getting me benched!"

"I can't say I would have done it any different Neshema."

"Really? You're going to stand here and say that to me? After everything we've been through you expect me to believe given the circumstances that you'd sit back and do nothing?"

"Like I've said before, I don't have a heart condition like you do Annie."

"Do you think we can get Mossad's support to go into Syria? I'm willing to do what you need in return. I mean, I'm highly qualified and I've worked a number of missions with you."

Eyal rubs his chin. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

Annie looks at Eyal intently thinking. . .

"If you make a deal, you're Mossad. There's no returning."

"What do I have to return to?"

"Last time I was here you were radiant, the two of you hosted the most wonderful Seder. You were the happiest and most relaxed I had ever seen. Don't you think that's worth keeping?"

"His men die if we don't do anything. I can't let that happen, it would eat him up and it will do the same to me."

"People die in this line of work Neshema, you American's always think you can save everyone."

"Are you going to call your boss or not?"

Eyal mumbles in Hebrew before taking his phone out of his pocket. He spends fifteen minutes talking. Annie listens to Eyal's side of the conversation. She hears him defending her. She hears him saying she's fit for the job and would be an asset. She hears him asking to be her handler. She hears him saying of course she would have a physical. More details are discussed. Annie's lips curl as she smiles feeling satisfied. Eyal hangs up.

"Okay, in about a day your papers and new cover will be ready, we leave the day after tomorrow. You want to call and tell Ryan?"

"No way, he can't know. He'd tie me up and lock me up to keep this from moving forward."

"So you are really giving up your life with him?" said Eyal looking at her ring finger. He lifted up her hand. "What about this?"

Annie's eyes fill with tears. "No one ever said this life was easy." She begins to sob.

"I'm tired. Let's get some sleep. You're mature enough to keep your hands off of me right? I slept in coach on the way here and need to. . ."

"It's fine we can share a bed, I'm so tired, I'll be snoring in five minutes."

And another hour later, Ryan arrives on the scene and world war three breaks out.

"Now everything makes sense. You didn't want to move along, you couldn't bring yourself to marry me because of him?

"You could have had the integrity to tell me you know."

"Wow, is that what you really think? Oh my God. It's not. There's nothing going on between us."

"Well what am I supposed to think, you left and you came here and I found you in bed together."

"Fully clothed," added Eyal.

Annie gave him a look.

"What, just what is going on?"

"Nothing. I came here to get away and didn't know Eyal was going to be in town. We were both tired so we fell asleep."

"Let's go. You have a bed, our bed," said Ryan as he took Annie's elbow.

"No. I'm not taking orders from you. I'm still fucking pissed that you. . ."

"You're seriously staying here with him instead of coming home?"

Annie nodded. "We're done after what you did to my career."

"None of the moments we've shared since we met matter to you more than your damn career?"

"My career matters to me, you need to find another girl if you want someone to keep house and play it safe."

"You know that's not what I want."

Ryan storms out.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Note: Thank you all for the lovely reviews and thoughts. Please keep letting me know what you think.

During mission prep to free Fitz and Dex, Annie's anger towards Ryan was still fresh. She wondered why all of a sudden he questioned her abilities in the field and more than anything she hated his condescending attitude, it was a side to him she didn't like one bit. She felt suffocated by his treatment and perhaps it was a convenient end. She loved him, he feared losing him when he went away on missions and worried until he was back home, she loved debating foreign policy and going on hikes with him. As their first anniversary of living together passed, she began to feel the pressure of commitment and it scared her. Everything she loved, she lost. She was waiting for a shoe to drop with Ryan and it did.

The anger and resentment Annie felt towards Ryan slowly turned into melancholy over the end of her relationship with a man she had fallen in love with. Eyal sensed a sadness about her that he had not seen since he helped rescue her from that Russian hellhole. . . that was after she lost Simon.

On the long trip from Athens to Cordoba, Eyal and Annie traveled as a couple. It was part of their cover. She pretended to read and then stared out the window lost in her thoughts on the first leg from Athens to Rome. Eyal knew Annie made some tough choices with regards to McQuaid and he knew working for Mossad meant leaving her long standing career with the CIA.

"Neshema, don't be so sad, no one's died. If you miss him that much, it means you aren't ready for it to be over."

"It doesn't mean I'm ready to forgive him either."

"Are you sure you aren't using this whole thing to run away from commiting to him?"

"Look at you talking, what do you know about commitment?" laughed Annie.

"Want to know a little secret?"

Eyal captured Annie's attention, "What?"

"I'm a married man," smiled Eyal.

"Yeah, how long do you think this little charade will last," chuckled Annie as she played with the wedding ring on her left ring finger. She thought he was referring to them pretending to be married.

"No, I'm serious, my ex is no longer my ex, we tied the knot again," said Eyal seriously.

"Shut up! I don't believe it!"

"I'm off the market Neshema, so you might as well go back to your soldier."

"When did this happen?"

"We were back together for about a year, so we decided we wanted to give marriage another chance. She's moving back in while I'm on this mission."

Annie was floored.

"And she knows all about you since we're encouraged to share about our missions. She's looking forward to meeting you once we return to Israel."

"I can't believe it! I'm happy for you Eyal. I really am."

"You know you're the one who got me thinking about taking the plunge. I thought if Annie Walker is finally settling down, then I can too."

"I'm not one to emulate Eyal. All my relationships have been disastrous."

"They don't have to be."

Annie turned towards the window and settled in to sleep.

/++

A few seconds after their meal arrived, Annie took off the foil and began to feel sick as the scent of the food reached her nose. She reached for the vomit bag. Eyal held her hair out of the way as she threw up.

"Must have been the water or something in Syria. I don't think I ever recovered from the first trip there."

Eyal pressed the call button.

He asked for a washcloth and ginger ale for Annie.

When it came, Annie wiped her face and mouth. "I feel better now."

"How was that physical you had in Israel? Because you don't have to go on this mission, there will always be others."

"I don't need another man telling me I'm not. . ." snapped Annie.

He put his hands up. He knew not to argue with her.

"I'm not eating now either, so let's just find a good place when we land in Madrid."

/++

Eyal and Annie have one night's layover in Madrid, the next day the two will take trains to a Mossad training site in Cordoba where they will spend a couple of days solidifying their covers and preparing for their mission to take out Al-Zawi.

Annie was a different person after sleeping on the flight. She felt much better and ate a huge dinner. She fell asleep with a belly full of tapas and wine.

The next morning Eyal awoke to the sound of Annie retching.

"Too much wine," she said as she came out of the bathroom where she met her agitated partner waiting.

"Really? We've had wine before and you can hold your wine Neshema."

Eyal is pissed, "Are you sure it's not something else?"

He had received, as her handler, a medical report that very morning.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you really that clueless Annie or do you think denying it will make it go away?"

"I've had some bug since Syria. I'm fine. My heart is stronger than ever."

"You're fine for most of the day and then you feel sudden urges to vomit? Do you even know anything?" Eyal curses and goes off on a long tirade about Americans and their fear of sex education in Hebrew.

Annie is shocked as she listens to him rant in Hebrew. She had no inkling that her nausea could be a result of pregnancy. "There must be a mistake."

"There's no mistake. Are you more tired than usual? Are your breasts fuller than ever, they look it and I'm not really looking. Annie, don't you know your own body?"

"That's not what this is. It can't be." Then she remembered a night last month when she and Ryan were fishing on his boat and then one thing led to another and she didn't have her diaphragm on and there were no condoms available.

"You can't do this, you're off the mission Neshema."

"No, no, no you can't fucking tell me that, what is it with you men. You can't tell me what I can and cannot do."

"I'm your handler and I can. Your medical report came through. There was a note in it to get an ultrasound to determine estimated due date. Your blood work showed elevated hormones like HcG and Progesterone. There's more than just your life at stake now."

She stopped and tried to take in the information. She walked towards the window wondering how Ryan would react. They never talked directly about having children, but she knew he enjoyed being around children. She had watched him at gatherings with his Navy buddies. He was invited to some birthday parties for his operatives' children. Ryan was an uncle to many and he loved playing with the kids at his company's annual family picnic. It was a side to him that made her love him more. Having children always seemed like a distant event, so abstract and far off.

"You really don't know what you want."

"No. We're not in a good place. I broke it off. We're not even together and I don't know if bringing a child into the equation is a good idea."

"I'd want to know if I fathered a child with the woman I love, so let's get you back to D.C."

"No, we're supposed to be married, what better way to proceed and solidify our cover than to be expectant parents?"

He gives her a look like she's gone out of her mind.

"You are not thinking straight Neshema, you have another life besides your own to think about."

"I keep my promises, let's finish this mission and then I'll deal with my personal life."

"We push our operatives, but we would never expect you to continue."

"It's what I want. I owe you, I owe Israel. Besides, I need the time to think about what I want."

Eyal didn't feel good about it, but she was right. The Kidon training in him said to use her, but the friend in him was concerned for her. When she suggested turning to Mossad, Eyal was reluctant to help her at first. Annie always made these types of decisions rashly, she went to Russia to hunt down Lena, and followed her gut when she asked him to help her die a couple of years ago. She never spent time realizing the consequences of her actions. She always wanted to do what needed to be done at her own peril. He tried to convince her that the business of Ryan's operatives was someone else's battle to fight. But he also had a mission to accomplish and she was right, they could use each other to achieve their goals. His mission was to kill Al-Zawi and if she could help him, Mossad had taught him, use whatever means at your disposal.

Their entire relationship had been based on using each other to complete missions she argued. He relented, but his heart was heavy for his friend. After all these years of using each other, she had become a real friend. The mission was going to be dangerous, they had to enter UAE and build a cover as teachers to gain access to Al-Zawi. They discovered an angle, his children always had Western tutors. He wanted them to attend Ivy league schools in America.

Eyal had a bad feeling, but he knows when Annie gets this way, he better get out of the way or stand beside her, so he agreed to proceed with their mission.


	10. Chapter 10

Note: I can't believe it's nearly Christmas. There's not much on TV that is interesting so I've turned to creating my own scenarios. I'll try to do as much as I can to clean the rest of this story up so you can all enjoy it. I know I have others to work on. This one is on my mind so since I'm on a roll, I'll keep going. Please let me know what you think. And I don't own these terrific characters. USA/CA writers are awesome.

 **Chapter 10**

 **Nearly two months later. . .**

Rivka learned through a buzz at King Solomon that a Kidon mission had succeeded and Israel had prevailed. She called Joan. It was the middle of a cold mid-December night in Washington D.C.

Groggy at the first ring, Joan looked at the clock on her bedside chest. It was 3:38 A.M. She grew increasingly alert as she reached for her mobile phone which was on its' third ring by then. Joan's heart skipped a beat when she saw the country code on her phone. She quickly answered and next her feet touched the cold floor as she hopped out of bed. Arthur stirred next to her when her phone rang and awakened more fully when he turned over and saw that Joan had left the room. He was familiar with off hour calls. They _never_ meant good news. He reached for his robe and followed Joan out into their kitchen.

"Rivka?" asked Joan and she looked over and met Arthur's squinting eyes. His eyebrows raised when he heard what Joan said.

"I thought you'd like to know, Annie is back from her mission."

Rivka was never warm and fuzzy to begin with, so it was a surprise to hear from her.

"What's wrong?"

"She's going into surgery."

"Oh my God, is it her heart?" asked Joan putting her free hand to her mouth.

Arthur was beside Joan in a second and put his arm around her as Joan continued listening.

"Gunshot wound," replied Rivka tersely.

"Oh my God, how bad?" gasped Joan.

"She didn't list anyone to call in times such as this. Has the girl no one?" asked Rivka with slight judgment in her voice.

"Is Eyal with her? Can he tell me more?"

"He's with her."

"Please have him call me."

"I'll try. He's not under my supervision anymore."

"And Rivka, thank you for contacting me even when Annie didn't list anyone."

Joan put the phone down and looked at Arthur as a tear escaped and fell down her cheek. She cared about Annie more than she ever let on to her subordinate. She buried her face into Arthur's chest for a few moments before she pulled herself together.

Joan couldn't go back to sleep after the phone call. Neither could Arthur who also cared about Annie. His boss Ryan McQuaid lost sleep over Annie's complete disappearance from the grid. He used some of his contacts to help Ryan locate Annie in Israel, but to no avail. It was a tiny country, but they concluded she didn't want to be found. Ryan accepted that Annie would resurface when she was ready.

The rest of the night passed into morning with no phone call from Eyal. Joan debated with Arthur whether she should tell Ryan what she knew or not. Arthur argued that he deserved to know. He worked along side Ryan the last couple of months, he noted he was still the same disciplined and hard working man, but some part of him wasn't the same since Annie left him. He missed her still.

Joan wanted to respect Annie's wishes, she argued that Annie would have listed Ryan or her as an emergency contact if she wanted to remain connected to her life in D.C. In a fog Joan dressed for work and went to Langley.

As soon as she settled in, she called Barber into her office.

"I need you to try to see if any military hospitals in Israel admitted a woman fitting Annie's description in the last 24 hours."

Barber's face contorts.

"I don't know anything yet Eric. I need you to see what you can find out."

"I'm on it."

"Be discreet."

"Yes ma'am."

Joan tries to get through her day even though her mind kept wandering back to Annie.

Arthur arrived late to the daily intelligence and mission briefing for the management team at McQuaid Securities. He gave a quick apology and participated actively in the meeting where they learned that a prominent member of the UAE who was a hardline and militant Islamic radical was assassinated the previous day. Arthur asked a surprising number of questions about the incident.

"Do we know who is responsible?"

"Does it matter, one more terrorist off the game board," said Ryan.

"I know it wasn't Langley, drones are their style for people like Al-Zawi."

"What do we know about how he died?"

"Gunshot wound to the head, execution style."

"Any fall out?"

Ryan says, "Let's move off of the daily intelligence briefs and move to our active missions."

Arthur whispered under his breath.

When the meeting ended, Ryan walked with Arthur back to their respective offices.

"You look tired man. Did you have a rough night with Mac?"

"Ah, no." said Arthur unable to hide that something was wrong.

"Everything okay? You were harping on that UAE incident."

Arthur looked at Ryan right in the eyes. He puts his hand to his chin and hesitates. He shouldn't betray Joan or Annie. She made her decision to keep the info from Ryan.

"What is it Arthur?" asked Ryan as his eyes narrow.

"Come on, let's go to my office."

Arthur closes the door.

"Joan received a call early this morning."

Ryan's heart sank.

"Annie?"

Arthur nodded.

Ryan, always quick, connected the dots. "She was in the UAE? It was a Mossad op?"

Arthur nodded. "A Kidon op actually."

Mission complete, that's my girl thought Ryan, except she was no longer his girl.

"So that means her mission is over and she's returning to D.C?" Asked Ryan with a grin. He pictured her back in their home, Christmas was nearing and he hoped she would forgive him and perhaps start over.

"That I don't know, she's working for a foreign agency," said Arthur pausing. "I'm not sure she can return without repercussions."

"And I'm afraid I've said more than I should."

Arthur decided to keep the info about Annie's gunshot wounds and the fact that she was on her way to surgery when Rivka called Joan.

"Arthur, I need to see her, does Joan know where she is?" said Ryan.

"No, she doesn't," responded Arthur.

Ryan called Joan who avoids his calls all day. Eventually Ryan went to Langley to track down Joan.

He found a haggard looking Joan.

"I heard there may be news on Annie."

"Who did you hear this news from?"

"Your husband if that makes a difference. Is she is coming home?"

"Coming home? Arthur clearly didn't tell you everything."

"What have you heard?"

"I haven't heard a word since the phone call early this morning. I've been trying to find out her condition," said Joan as she avoided looking directly at Ryan.

Ryan stopped and rubbed his hand through his hair as his heart sank. 'Her condition,' those words ring in his ears. The thought of losing her before he could say what he had rehearsed the last few weeks was _always a possibility_ he feared, but now that it was a reality, he felt like his world was crashing down.

"What happened?" he eeked out as he rubbed his chin and flexed his jaw.

"I really don't know."

"Come on Joan!"

"All I know is she was shot. I've been waiting for Eyal Lavin to call, but there's been no word since early this morning."

"Shot? God damn it! Do you know how to contact him?" demanded Ryan.

"All I know is he lives in Jerusalem."

"I owe her so much for what she did for my guys and I have things I need her to hear," said Ryan.

"I know," said Joan. "I will call you if Eyal calls me, but don't hold your breath."

Ryan drove away and started bargaining with God. He pleaded for Annie's life and said, he would be fine if didn't have her in his life, as long as she was alive, he'd be grateful and happy. He repeated over and over in his head, "God, please let her be okay."

/++

After pulling himself together, Ryan looked up Auggie's number in his contacts and phoned him

"McQuaid!"

"Hi Anderson," said Ryan. Auggie was ever perceptive and could hear the heaviness in McQuaid's voice.

"We're still waiting on that wedding invitation."

"Wedding's off for now."

Auggie rolled his eyes and sighed. "Oh Geez, let me guess, Annie chose a mission over you."

"Something like that, it's a long story that we'll have to share over some beers and bourbon. Listen, I need your help."

"What can I do?"

"How can I contact Eyal Lavin."

"Tash and I saw him a couple of months ago when our travels took us to Israel. I can give you the man's address, but we have a code you know. Why do you need it?"

Ryan sighed and gave Auggie a quick summary of all that happened since. Upon hearing that Annie was hurt, Auggie reluctantly gave Ryan Eyal's address. "Here's the address and call me when you know something."

Auggie got off the phone with Ryan and immediately went on the message board he used to contact Eyal from time to time.


	11. Chapter 11

**Note: Here's a nice LONG chapter for you avid readers. Thank you for the kind words and encouragement. Let me know your thoughts.**

 **Chapter 11**

++/

Ryan tracked down Eyal at his home after Auggie gave him the address. In the world of espionage, strong friendships and bonds can form in an instant due to the precarious nature of the work. Auggie and Eyal forged a friendship since the time Eyal helped him break Annie out of a prison in Moscow. They didn't know each other, but each knew he could count on the other. Both men were also fiercely loyal to their mutual friend Annie Walker.

Eyal knew Ryan was coming because Auggie had contacted him. Eyal's heart was heavy for his friend Annie. He wasn't quite sure how to handle it when Ryan arrived. He had been with Annie in the hospital the last two days, he was the one who told her what happened when she regained consciousness and it was heartbreaking to watch her learn that she had lost the baby. He asked her if she wanted him to call anyone and she said no. He asked her a second time the next morning figuring in the light of day she'd feel differently and she told him not to ask her again. Should he respect her wishes or should he do what knew was right and bring him to her? Eyal hadn't decided what to do.

Ryan pulled into the exclusive enclave of homes. He knew enough about Eyal to know that he also enjoyed the finer things in life, but he was surprised that Eyal's address didn't lead him to a bachelor pad in the heart of the city. He always pegged him for a player.

There was an apprehension that Ryan felt as he exited the car. He had few details about what Annie had been up to and he tried not to let his imagination run wild. After fearing for her life, his second fear was that he drove her into Eyal's arms and that there was no chance for them to get back together. He made his bargain with God, if Annie was fine, he'd accept it if she chose the Israeli. He understood that being partners on a mission threw people together. It was the nature of the job, operatives had a reputation of hooking up with partners. Work hard, play hard had a different meaning for spies. Something about the shared danger, the thrill of the op that threw a man and a woman together. Besides what man wouldn't want Annie, she was gorgeous, witty, and a bad ass to boot.

When he was on missions with her, working side by side only made her sexier and all the more desirable so he understood if Annie and Eyal were more than friends. It seemed like they spent nearly two months on an op. Falling for a fellow operative and someone she worked closely with was pattern of Annie's that wasn't unique to her, but he only he learned about it from Arthur. He wished she shared about her past herself.

When Ryan knocked on the Lavin house, Eyal wasn't there. A young boy, about 10 years old answered the door.

"Uh hi, I'm looking for an Eyal Lavin, maybe I have the wrong house," said Ryan puzzled.

"He's at work," volunteered the boy.

"Oh, do you know when he'll be back?"

Avi shook his head.

"You're American?"

"Yes," nodded Ryan, he reached for his business card and handed it to Avi. "Can you tell him to call me as soon as he returns?"

Avi nodded and closed the door.

/

A couple of hours later Eyal returned home.

"Abba! Can we play ball?"

"Sure, I'll change out of these work clothes." Eyal was tired from his mission and the last couple of days spent in the hospital with Annie, but he missed his son and wanted to spend quality time with him.

Avi like a boy is apt to do forgot all about the man who rang the doorbell earlier that day. He hadn't seen his father in a number of weeks and when Eyal returned from his mission a couple of days ago all Avi wanted to do was kick around the soccer ball and play on the X-box with him. The father and son took the ball to a local park and played for about an hour before Eyal said it was time to head home for homework and dinner.

As they walked back home, Avi and Eyal simultaneously spotted a man getting out of a car near their house.

"Oh Abba, I forgot, there was a man here to see you earlier," said Avi.

"Really? Would it be that man over there?"

Avi nodded sheepishly. "He left this for you and said to call him," said Avi taking the rumpled card out from his pocket.

The father and son had reached their front door.

"Go on inside."

"Am I in trouble for forgetting?"

"No, not at all, but maybe for opening the door to a stranger," winked Eyal and lobbed the soccer ball to his son. Avi caught the ball with his foot, picked it up and hugged Eyal. "I'm glad you're home Abba," he said.

"Go on in," said Eyal after planting a kiss on Avi's forehead.

Ryan leaned against his car as he witnessed the exchange between father and son and was truly surprised. Annie never mentioned that Eyal had a child. He wondered if there were more inside.

The two men approach each other awkwardly.

"He's a good looking kid," bellowed Ryan taking off his sunglasses.

"Thanks, but you didn't come all this way to compliment my genes," quipped Eyal.

"No, I didn't," said Ryan. He usually wasn't short on words, but it was hard for him to be there and to ask Eyal for help.

After a pause, Ryan said, "I came thank you for what you did to help my men. I know it must not have been easy to convince your agency to help. A man will see his second child born and his children grow up because of you. And the other, well he gets to fool around and live some more."

Eyal chuckled. "I didn't do it for you man, I did it for Annie."

"Speaking of Annie, I came to find her but I can't track her down. I've gone to every hospital and this isn't easy for me to ask, but I need your help to locate her."

Eyal looked at him, man to man and saw everything Ryan was feeling, regret, worry, love, and hope.

"Come on in," gestured Eyal.

"Is she inside?"

"Inside?"

Eyal shook his head, "No, my wife is very understanding, but not that understanding. I need to change and let my family know I won't be at dinner."

Ryan's face could not hide his surprise.

/

Ryan looked around Eyal's home as he waited for him to return. He always figured him for the consummate bachelor and obnoxious flirt. Perhaps that was part of his persona, but not the real him. He supposed that like Annie, he was a spy first and foremost and skilled at pretending to be someone else. A beautiful brunette followed Eyal out to the foyer and was introduced as his wife. She smiled warmly and asked Ryan to stay for dinner.

"Thank you for your hospitality, but I need to see a friend."

She and Eyal looked at each other and exchanged some words in Hebrew. Ryan heard Annie's name.

"I hope seeing you lifts her spirits," said Eyal's wife.

Eyal kissed his wife and said, he'd be home as soon as he could.

"Tell Annie, I'll come see her after I take Avi to school tomorrow," said Eyal's wife.

"Yes ma'am," replied Ryan.

/

Ryan followed Eyal to his garage. He wasn't quit done processing what he had learned. If Eyal was happily married and had a family, that meant Annie was. . . well he didn't know for sure, but he felt his chances of getting back together with her were better than he initially thought and it put a smile on his face.

Ryan was shaking his head as he looked around the garage and saw the soccer equipment and bikes.

"What?" asked Eyal. Theirs was still a tenuous relationship.

"It usually takes a lot to surprise me, but you being married came out of left field."

"You came still thinking there was something between me and Annie?"

Ryan nodded.

"Annie is special to me for many reasons, but mostly she reminds me of the sister I lost. She's a fighter and stubborn. I was always just toying with you because you made it fun."

"Glad that you were amused at my expense."

"You made it easy and I wanted to make sure you were worthy of her."

"And?"

"I think you being here says something," said Eyal.

"So she must be okay because I looked at every hospital and nothing."

"She's at a Mossad safe house recuperating."

"Recuperating from what?"

Eyal left Ryan's question unanswered.

Not many words were exchanged as Eyal drove.

"Why are we stopping?" asked Ryan as Eyal pulled into a market.

"I don't know about you, but I need to pick up a peace offering, she's not going to be happy that I brought you to her."

"That means she's still angry with me? I guess I deserve it."

Eyal didn't say anything.

"I have this," said Ryan pulling out a ring box. "It's part of the ring I bought her that she never wore on missions. I had the stones taken out and turned into a necklace so that she could always wear it and not reveal anything personal. You think she'll take me back? I mean I'm asking because you've spent the last few weeks with her. . . "

"We didn't talk much about our personal lives."

"Bullshit Eyal."

"Don't call a man whose leaving a home cooked meal a liar," said Eyal.

"I'm surprised that you're helping me then," said Ryan.

"I'm helping her, not you," said Eyal. "I understand Annie because we're similar, we're both prideful people and sometimes prideful people need a little help."

"What shape is she in?"

"That's where I draw the line, she can tell you herself."

They arrived at a private gated state with a lot of security. Eyal was recognized immediately and allowed in. They question Eyal about Ryan in Hebrew. They ask to see his passport, which Ryan provides. Next they ask to search Ryan. Naturally he's carrying a firearm. They pass the weapon to Eyal to hold onto.

Once they reached the home, Eyal leads Ryan to a private wing.

"Stay here. I need to prep her."

Ryan heard her voice come out of the room.

Annie was asleep. Eyal touched her shoulder and woke her. "I didn't expect to see you again today."

"I brought you some gelato," said Eyal placing the bag on the tray table. "Two flavors, chocolate and pistachio."

"Thanks," said Annie.

"Before you show your gratitude, I brought you something else."

Eyal called out loud enough for Ryan to hear, "You can come in now,"

Annie glared at Eyal. "What the hell?"

The two started speaking in Hebrew with Eyal imploring her to tell him what happened. Ryan saw Annie in the room, that had been turned into a hospital equipped room. She was on a hospital bed. He was relieved that she was conscious. She had an IV and a couple of bags hanging from the stand. He saw a pulse ox monitor and a heart monitor. He didn't see any other visible wounds on her upper body, but he could tell she looked pale and tired.

"Hi," said Ryan approaching the bed. It had been more than two months since the evening she packed up and left.

"Why are you here?" asked Annie as she pushed a button and lifted the head of the bed so she was upright.

Her words hurt him and he wasn't sure what to say right away, she did that to him, made him lose his thoughts.

"You shouldn't be here, you're putting Eyal and his family in jeopardy and me too."

"You know I would never do that willfully," said Ryan.

"You're the head of an international security firm, if people saw you together, it was burn him."

"Neshema, it's okay. I'll leave you two for a bit," said Eyal.

"May I sit?"

Annie's heart was pounding, she was caught off guard and not ready to face him. Ryan could see it on her monitors.

Annie shrugged, "Go ahead,"

Ryan sat and pulled the chair closer to Annie's bed. He gently let his fingers touch the back of her hand, which was bruised from the IV. She wanted to pull away, but feeling his touch for the first time in weeks gave her a feeling of comfort and familiarity that she had dreamt about and longed for the last few weeks she was away.

"It's so good to see you. I was so worried and scared," whispered Ryan.

"You shouldn't have wasted energy on me," said Annie.

Why does she say things like that thought Ryan.

"I couldn't help it, just because we fought and things ended didn't mean that my love and concern for you vanished. I thought of you constantly and life without you was. . ."

"You didn't have to come here to tell me that," said Annie cutting him off and trying to be strong.

He licked his lips, this wasn't the reunion he had hoped for on the drive over, but he knew her to be stubborn.

"I know what you did and why you did it. I wanted to thank you for getting Fitz and Dex out of Syria. What you did was beyond amazing and gutsy. It was classic Annie Walker and I love you for it. I know you did it for me and that you made this deal with Mossad because of me. You did what you always do, put everyone else first. I'm so sorry I was such a jerk, I should have had your back. You're here in this bed because of me and I am ready to do whatever it takes to make this up to you, please forgive me. Say we can have another go."

Annie swallowed.

"There's nothing to forgive Ryan, I'm sorry you came all this way," said Annie.

Ryan didn't expect it to be easy.

"You're still angry with me and I understand. I never should have gone to Joan, that was wrong of me. I should have let you be you. I was so scare of losing you back then, I wasn't thinking straight. I know I was jealous of Eyal and that made me behave badly."

Annie stopped him, "Everything I did was a choice I made. It wasn't for you. I did what I did because it was what _I wanted to do_ ," said Annie.

"Come on Annie, you didn't have to end things the way you did to go through with your plan, if you told me what you were up to, I would have understood and backed you."

"Really? You wanted me to stay put, if you could you would have chained me to a hospital bed and you accused me of cheating on you with Eyal. You didn't exactly show any confidence in me as a person and you didn't support of my career," all the things she had forgiven in her mind came back. She used it, it was her strength, thinking of a story on the fly to _manipulate a situation_.

She was silent as she tried to hold back tears. At least her emotions were real and it was helping her make it through.

"You have every right to be angry and I want to make it all up to you. I have my plane. It's fully equipped and ready to transport you back to the States if you're stable. We can work things out between us," said Ryan.

Annie looked surprised. "You haven't changed one bit. There's no going back and the fact that you assume that is what I want just goes to show why we aren't right for each other."

"I didn't mean to assume, I just thought, you're done with Mossad now. You fulfilled your end of the bargain and now. . ."

She cut him off, "And now I've been labeled a defector, a rogue agent who went to work for a foreign agency."

"They won't see it that way once they learn what you did, I know Joan is on your side. We'll get Mossad to verify the deal you made," argued Ryan.

"No, I've had a lot of time to think about things, about us and my life. I have nothing in D.C. My life is my work as a field operative and here in Israel, I'm supported 100%, regardless of my health issues, besides I owe Eyal and Mossad for helping me."

"So you're staying here, just like that?"

She nodded.

"What about us? We can work it out and still see each other."

"It's not about you Ryan. I learned a lot about myself. I'm wired for mission, I'll always choose my work over my personal life. I can't be tied down. I'm sorry you wasted a year with me and that it took me that long to realize it. I'm not wired to be with someone long term. I tried and we couldn't make it work. I've been happy these last few weeks doing work I enjoy. . . "

He could see her mind was made up.

"I'm not sorry. It was worth the year we had together. I'm going to miss you. A LOT Walker. I want you to know that I'll always love you. And no matter what it is, if you need something, I'll be there. I owe you everything."

"You don't owe me anything Ryan."

"Anything Walker, you name it, any time of day and I'll be there."

"Good-bye Ryan," said Annie trying to hold back tears.

After walking down the hall, he looked up and saw Eyal. "Done already? That was fast," said Eyal.

"No not yet," said Ryan as he turned around.

Once back in the room he found Annie crying.

"I thought we were happy, I was. I thought you were too. Then everything got fucked up and I know I made mistakes. I came to ask your forgiveness. I was a jerk. I know and can admit it now. I did want to keep you home safe, but we learned something from this didn't we? We can still find a way to be together if you stay here in Israel. I don't need to be married. We can see each other when we can. I don't want to say goodbye and I don't think you do either."

"I can't Ryan, too much happened for everything to be water under the bridge. You're a great catch, you'll find someone else, I know it. You'll find someone who wants to be taken care of. That sort of girl is better suited for you."

"And what about you, you can't do this job forever."

"I'm going to do it as long as Mossad sends me on assignment."

Or until you're killed thought Ryan morbidly. The thought sent shivers down his spine.

"How can I get in touch with you? I mean send you a birthday card and wish you Merry Christmas?"

She shook her head. "I think that would make things harder than they need to be."

He nodded supposing she was right.

Finally, he pulled out the necklace. "It's nearly Christmas, take this, I want you to have it as a present to remember our time together. I love you Walker, don't forget it." He kissed her on the head and left the box on her tray table before leaving the room.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:** Thank you for your reviews and ideas! I love hearing them. I think you'll all like what I have planned. Have travel coming up over the holidays and will try my best to finish this up before I leave. I realized this segment could have been part of Chapter 11.

 **Chapter 12**

When Ryan emerged from Annie's room a second time, Eyal saw the look on his face and he knew things didn't go well. Ryan wasn't in the room long enough for things to have gone well. Eyal didn't want to betray his friend so he kept his thoughts to himself.

"Ready to head out already?"

"I said what I came to say," said Ryan. Eyal sensed the defeat in his voice and wondered why he was giving up on Annie so easily. Part of him wanted to tell Ryan that Annie was punishing herself for something beyond her control, but it wasn't his place to interfere with Annie's life.

Eyal handed Ryan's weapon back to him as they exited the house.

Ryan tucked his firearm in the back of his pants as they walk to Eyal's car.

"Thank you for bringing me to her. Promise me you'll keep her safe."

The men climbed back into Eyal's car.

"I can't make such a promise. You above all people must know this work is high stakes," said Eyal.

"What happened anyway?" Ryan asked realizing he never even asked her that question, not that she would answer it.

"She didn't say?" replied Eyal.

Ryan shook his head, "I guess we didn't get to that."

"She'll recover, she's due to be discharged in another day or two," responded Eyal, but he thought to himself, the time she'll take to recover physically would be much faster than emotionally.

"I told her to contact me anytime, I owe her and I owe you. So keep my card and if I can ever do anything for you, let me know. And if she's ever in trouble or hurt, would you please let me know?"

Eyal nodded and shook Ryan's hand.

Ryan climbed back into his car and drove back to his hotel to pack up. Annie was alive and she was going to recover, his prayers had been answered and he had to accept her choices. He replayed her words. She was wired for mission. He told her so himself many months ago. Nothing she said about what she learned about herself surprised him. She was right to some extent. He wanted a partner out in the field, but also one at home. She couldn't give him both and he couldn't expect her to. He did want more than she was able to give and even though he loved her, he needed to let her go so they could both find happiness. Their parting made him sad, but he had no regrets. He had a wonderful year with Annie, he learned that he could fall in love again after his wife died and he was grateful for that.

Ryan walked away believing and accepting that it was really what Annie wanted.

/ /

After Eyal made sure Ryan drove off, he went back to the hospital. Dinner with his family was looking a long time away.

Annie cried herself to sleep after Ryan left. When she sensed someone else in the room, she wondered at first if it was Ryan, did he return again unwilling to let her give up on them? When she opened her eyes, she felt a mixture of relief and sadness to see that it was Eyal.

"You didn't tell him."

"It was better to let him go."

"Better for whom? That's not what you said to me a few days ago."

"Everything can change in an instant. I've learned that lesson too many times. I figure I better finally listen to the universe," said Annie as the tears returned.

Eyal watched a tear escape and roll down Annie's cheek.

"Neshema, you've been through something terrible, so let me remind you what you said back in the UAE, you told me you wanted to make it work with McQuaid. You said you were finally ready to settle down and that you looked forward to being a mother."

Eyal watched his friend's silent tears turn into sobs and he immediately regretted his Israeli bluntness. He shouldn't have reminded her of the joy and happiness she felt.

"All of that changed when I lost her," she managed to say. Eyal sat on the bed and handed Annie a tissue.

"Come on, one terrible thing doesn't need to lead to another terrible thing. Good can come out of this tragedy you experienced. The lesson you need to learn is you don't have to be alone. The doctors said you can get pregnant again."

Annie shook her head vigorously. "Everyone who comes close to me gets hurt or dies."

"I'm not hurt or dead. I just left Ryan and he's still breathing,"

"You've come close to dying nearly every time we've been together."

"And yet we are both still here."

"I've lost too many people and too many relationships, it's best that I keep my head straight and stay focused on work."

"You've been through a traumatic event, it will take time to recover."

"I'll be fine after I get back on my feet and get back to work."

"Neshema, you can't use this job to escape your pain. If you do, you are going to grow old alone. I've learned this lesson already."

"You threw away the letter I told you to mail to Ryan right?"

He nodded even though he didn't throw away the letter Annie had written just days before.

"Go home to your family Eyal."

Eyal sighed, he leaned down and kissed Annie's forehead before saying, "We'll be by tomorrow."

/

After Annie gets discharged two days later, her new boss ordered her to take six weeks off to recuperate and go to physical therapy as well as see a psychiatrist. Annie protested at first, but Mossad said it was the condition of her continued employment. What choice did she have? So Annie spent time on the beach and established a new life in Israel. Eyal's family took her in and she became very close to all of them.


	13. Chapter 13

Note: I don't own these characters, they belong to CA Writers/USA. Thank you for your encouraging and positive reviews. I will try to get another chapter out before Xmas. I have another One Shot too that started out as a scene for The Last Bag that I deleted because it didn't seem to fit. Enjoy!

At first Ryan was reluctant, but his friends all encouraged him to get back out there and meet as many women as he could. He went on several blind dates, trying with each woman to forget the one that still occupied his heart, but time did help him to move on, but he was still chasing something, a feeling he hadn't quite recaptured yet.

 **About 9 months later in the South of France**

The emcee of the exclusive blues club in Marseille announced the evening's entertainment in French.

"First time to our stage and hailing from Montreal we have the stunningly gorgeous Miss Andrea Quinn. She has studied choral arts since she was a very young girl and has toured Northern American and Europe with the internationally renowned Cantabile Choral Ensemble before striking out on her own. She has the voice of an angel and will be graced with her presence the next two nights. Let's all give her a round of applause."

Ryan McQuaid nearly spit out his bourbon as he suddenly turned his head towards the stage, which was clear across the club. Prior, he paid no attention to the emcee's words. It was the sound of the voice that captured his attention. The woman's voice spoke French and Ryan could make out none of what she said, but he knew that voice. He grabbed the arm of the young stunning blond next to him, it belonged to his translator. Ryan demanded to know what the singer was saying. Andrea Quinn began to speak in French as she thanked the emcee for the introduction and spoke of how happy she was to be there.

Genevieve Martel, Ryan's translator apologized saying she didn't realize he wanted her to translate. "She thanked the emcee for the introduction and said she was happy to have her first engagement in France. She gave a bit of background about her first song, it is a song about loss love. She said, you can't lose what you never had."

He had largely ignored the emcee's introductions, he was too busy looking for his contact in the crowded club. He didn't go to the club with the intention to listen to any music.

"Find out what you can about the singer, what did the emcee say?"

Genevieve nodded even though she thought they were there about a business transaction. She knew she wasn't there for the entertainment or to question her boss, she was paid to be there to translate, so she went off in search of answers to please her handsome boss.

Ryan was there to see about securing a fleet of private aircrafts for his security firm.

Word that a Saudi billionaire was looking to liquidate his assets in France reached Ryan's ear and he was looking for the billionaire's personal attaché who spoke French, Arabic, and a little English. The whole reason he procured the translator was for this deal from which he was now distracted.

Ryan scanned the club to look for his contact, but couldn't help but look over to the stage to stare at the soulful singer. His attention was divided as the wheels turned in his head. He watched the woman at the grand piano sing with her eyes closed and face full of emotion. It wasn't the first time he thought he spotted her in a crowd. But the voice. . . on the woman he hardly recognized was _clearly hers_. She looked very different from the woman he knew, but the more she sang and the longer he stared at her lips and profile, the more certain he was that the voice belonged to his ex-fiance, Annie Walker. The woman on the stage, Andrea Quinn was wearing a red sequined gown with a long slit and had black hair and dark brown eyes.

With his translator taking her time, he flagged down the bartender hoping he spoke English.

"Who's the singer?"

"Andrea Quinn from Canada. She's not bad huh?"

"How long will she sing?"

The bartender shrugged, "Ask the man standing by the stage. He's in charge of keeping the entertainers and VIPs happy."

"The emcee?"

The bartender nodded as he continued making drinks.

Ryan nodded thanks towards the bartender and walked towards the stage mesmerized by her ability to play the piano and sing on stage. Yet something else he didn't know about her. He figured she must be there on some kind of mission and he didn't want to jeopardize her cover or her operation. He knew the club had a reputation of being a place frequented by Russian mobsters and Eastern European drug lords and traffickers, but it was also a popular club for the rich and famous vacationing in the South of France. Anyone could be her target.

Annie's instincts and skills were meticulously honed. She felt someone watching her more than just as an entertainer. She looked into the crowd and scanned the room and looked for each person on the list of people associated with her target. Perhaps they were watching her or found her suspicious or something about her cover didn't hold up. But she had been careful. She spent weeks training, hours of daily piano and voice lessons to get up to par, she did a dry run at a jazz club in Tel Aviv and the night ended in a standing ovation. She landed a London gig easily. She succeeded in capturing the target's attention there and flirted with him after her sets in London. She played hard to get and declined his invitation to join him for a nightcap on her last night. London was too high profile a location to take out Viktor Kozlov as he was there with his family, it was where Annie baited him. They would wait until he was in Marseille alone and had a smaller entourage. He liked to rest and relax while on vacation so he only took one driver and one bodyguard with him. Annie continued to sing, telling herself she was being paranoid.

Ryan decided his advantage was that she has yet to notice him in the crowd. He watched her from the sidelines and tracked her gaze in an effort to learn her target. During her break between sets, he watched the emcee whisper in her ear before leading her to a table near the stage. Ryan couldn't tell if the emcee was part of the op or not. The table had a $5000 minimum liquor order. He watched her flirt with the guests at the table. Anyone of the men could be her target. He took some photos of the table and sent them off to Jim to run through facial recognition. He also asked Jim to find out anything he could on Andrea Quinn, Canadian. He felt like something took over his actions, he lost focus on the entire reason he was there to begin with, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to have the upper hand and he still had it, so he set off to find her dressing room.

Ryan struck up a conversation up with the man the bartender pointed out by complimenting the singer. He found out the singer was new to their establishment, she was requested by Viktor Kozlov. Kozlov was a man Ryan had heard of, he was also known as "The Goat" and he was a wealthy and ruthless Russian mobster who was on Langley and the DOD's radar for selling weapons to Iranians and killing his competition. He paid the club handsomely to have her sing there during the weekend he was vacationing in Marseille.

"We are lucky to have procured Ms. Quinn, she has engagements lined up all over Europe." In truth the emcee was paid handsomely by Kozlov to get the lovely Andrea Quinn on the stage.

"Are you enjoying your evening, uh your name?"

"McQuaid, Ryan McQuaid."

"Ah, I think I've seen you before in the tabloids, I thought you looked familiar. You're the owner of a security firm?"

Ryan nodded, "Guilty as charged."

"Are you here on business?"

"No, no, just on vacation like most of these other lovely people."

"Well do let me know if there's anything I can do for you."

"Well, I'd love to meet her, get her autograph," said Ryan. The emcee looked at him strangely. "Uh, it's an American thing," said Ryan taking out a few hundred euros from his pocket. Ryan took a gamble, he sized up the emcee and didn't think he was an operative. He struck him as a man for whom money talked. The emcee looked around and pocketed the cash. He told Ryan to follow him. The emcee led Ryan backstage to the dressing room. She should be here to change for her next set in a few minutes.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Note: I really hate to be predictable, but I know you all expected our protagonists to reunite somehow. I tried to find a way that would fun to read and possibly lend itself to the screen. I wanted it to be an "across a crowded room moment" for at least one of them. . . hope I succeeded and I love Casablanca so had to stick that quote in. I enjoyed writing this reunion scene. I hope you all like it. More intrigue to come if I can steal time before we leave town. THANK YOU for your thoughts and feedback. I love reading reviews!

/

Before Annie entered her dressing room she noticed the small piece of tape she had placed on the top of the door was no longer sticking to the frame. The hairs on her neck stood up, she wasn't being paranoid earlier after all. "Always trust your gut Annie," she said to herself while pulling the gun holstered to her thigh out from under her gown. She looked up and down the hallway to make sure no one saw her pull out a weapon. Her heart pounded inside her as a sweat came across her brow because she had no idea what she might find on the other side of the door.

Annie opened the door as gingerly as she could and saw the back of a man facing her as he looked through her purse. There was a familiar feeling, a déjà vu that came over her. She didn't want to believe it, but she _knew_ those broad shoulders and the neatly groomed hairline along the back of his neck.

"Hands up and away from my bag," said Annie while kicking the door closed with her foot. Ryan slowly put his hands up, turned around and smiled at the sound of her voice speaking in a language he understood.

" _Of all the jin joints in all the towns, in all the world. . ._ " started off McQuaid with a broad smile.

His hands were up still since Annie had yet to put her gun down.

"What are you doing here?" asked Annie as she kicked off her shoes and kept her weapon pointed at him.

"That's how you want to start off our first conversation in nine months? No hello and how are you?"

"Hi," said Annie without any emotion.

"Can you holster the gun please, it's giving me PTSD from last couple of times you pointed a gun at me," quipped Ryan.

He watched her holster her weapon by lifting the slit on her gown.

"How the hell did you get back here? You are going to wreck my op, you need to leave. I can't underscore enough this point, STAY AWAY from me." Annie spoke as she busied herself looking through a selection of gowns hanging in the wardrobe. Ryan had read the notecard pinned to one of them. The gowns were a gift from Viktor Kozlov. In the note he wrote that he hoped she would do him the honor of wearing at least one of the gowns he picked out for her.

"Annie Walker and I can't be seen together, but Andrea Quinn on the other hand," smiled Ryan.

Annie rolled her eyes.

"I need to change so please," said Annie after she had chosen a gown from Kozlov to wear for her second set. She went behind the room partition to the changing area after pointing to the door.

"You look fabulous. The dark hair is striking," said Ryan making no motions towards the dressing room door. He didn't want to endanger her or put a wrench in her work, but he also didn't want the opportunity to see her pass.

Annie sighed, she grew frustrated and flustered at his presence.

"How about a drink when your mission is over? One drink," said Ryan as nonchalantly as possible.

It was never just one drink between the two of them, one drink would lead to another drink and she couldn't trust herself to be alone with him. She spent the last many months recovering _physically and emotionally_. She tried her best to shove the grief and sorrow deep down to a place where it wouldn't consume her. Lately she had reached to a good place where she found an equilibrium that was working for her. The piano and voice lessons she took to prepare for this op were actually therapeutic for her. But she didn't like the feelings that bubbled up when she laid eyes on him. It was a mix of love, regret, longing, and guilt.

"Let's let things be, we said our good-byes," said Annie from behind the partition.

"And now we can say hello. Really after all this time and everything we shared together I'd like to think we can be adults and . . ." suddenly a knock interrupted their conversation.

Get behind the screen motioned Annie quickly.

"Oui, entrez," said Annie once Ryan was out of sight.

"Your tea Ms. Quinn, chamomile with lemon and honey," said the server in French.

Ryan was crouched behind Annie in the small changing space behind the partition. She had already unzipped her dress and it was hanging on her hips. He was inches away from her back where he saw the scars and moles he remembered clearly from their year together. She smelled delicious and looked even yummier.

Annie said something in French to the server who then placed the tray on the vanity. The server asked if Annie needed anything else. She declined.

"Merci beaucoup," said Annie. The door closed and she breathed a sigh of relief.

She turned around and faced McQuaid who was standing up by then. God thought Ryan, how he wanted to kiss her and feel her against his body in that moment. He was surprised by his body's response, he felt warm as a blush appeared on his face and his heart started beating faster. He hadn't experienced those sensations in a very long time. None of the women he dated or slept with in the last nine months came close to eliciting the reaction that Annie Walker caused in mere minutes.

"That was close. Now I can't afford you to be seen leaving here while I'm in here. Hand me that dress behind you," snapped a very irritated Annie.

He was at a loss for words and followed her orders as he watched her shimmy out of the dress. He saw her fully in that small space. She wore a matching red bra, underwear and garter belt. Strapped to her right thigh he saw the holster. She was as hot as the first time they made love thought McQuaid. His eyes were drawn to the garter belt where he made out the edges of a new scar underneath. It must be from the gunshot she received nine months ago.

Annie saw where his gaze hung.

"Hang this one up," ordered Annie practically throwing him the red gown she had just taken off.

"Maybe you can leave the dress off for a bit," joked Ryan with a twinkle in his eye. She was all business and definitely on high alert, he wanted to lighten things up.

Annie pushed him to the wall with a force he didn't quite expect. The hooks on the wall dug into his back and he winced making Annie feel _just a little bit_ of remorse.

She poked her finger into his chest a few times and said through gritted teeth, "Don't get in my way, I have a job to do that I've spent months preparing for, so when you leave this dressing room, I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"

Annie too looked flushed and he could feel the heat of her body. He wrapped his hand around her finger, the one that poked his chest forcefully and said, "I would never endanger you. You won't see me near you again. Scouts honor, but I have business here too."

Annie quickly took her hand back and stepped into the dress.

She turned around and struggled with her zipper.

"Here, let me," said Ryan. She looked at her watch, she realized that she didn't have much more time before she was due on stage so she accepted his help. When he finished pulling up her zipper, he put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around. He looked at her in that small space and all the feelings for her he thought he exorcised came back.

"When your op is over, you name the place, anywhere in the world and I'll be there."

She did it again, she looked at him for just one second before she looked down, shaking her head. "I'm heading home when this is over."

"You have someone waiting for you?" asked Ryan believing that it was possible she could have met someone in Israel or gotten involved with a fellow operative. She did fall easily for those she was thrown together with as he had learned in her absence.

Annie emerged from the changing area, "Stay hidden back there and don't leave this room until I'm on the stage. You'll be able to hear the speakers from here."

Annie took a few sips of her tea. She sat at the vanity, checked her make up, reapplied some powder, then downed the rest of her tea like it was spiked. She reapplied her lipstick and adjusted her breasts so that the dress accentuated them.

Ryan felt a tinge of jealousy knowing that she would use her sexuality to do her job.

"What's your business here anyway?" asked Annie.

"I'll tell if you tell," said Ryan.

"Forget it," said Annie thinking she could easily find out.

"I had no idea you could sing and play the piano, at least I learned some things about you today," said Ryan somehow feeling that he never really knew her at all.

"Good-bye Ryan," said Annie before walking out.

"Be careful," he whispered, unsure if she heard him before the door closed.

Ryan was left there in the dressing room completely dissatisfied with their interaction. The air was still filled with her presence and he couldn't leave yet per her orders. He looked some more through her things, poking around hoping to find something that would tell him where he could find her later. In her bag, he found a key card to the hotel where she was staying, the Intercontinental and her passport folio. He also found a tin of mints where he knew she kept memory cards and devices, a phone, a wallet and plane tickets to Montreal by way of London. He took pictures of what he found.

As soon as he heard the sound of her voice come across the speakers, he left the dressing room making sure no one saw him. His translator spotted him immediately when he entered the main part of the club and ran up to him and grabbed his arm,

"Where have you been? I was looking all over for you, do you want to know what I found out about the singer?"

Ryan shook his head. He saw Annie or Andrea looking over at him and the translator as she played the piano and sang, she looked away as soon as their eyes met.

"Did you find your contact yet?"

"Uh, no, not yet, but the night is still young," replied Ryan. He had to focus now. He scanned the room until he found the man he was looking for. "There he is, now remember, I'm not paying more than $25 million for his fleet."

Genevieve nodded to show she understood.

"Shall we?" said Ryan offering his arm. His young blond translator took it and they walked towards the table where the personal attaché sat listening to the beautiful Andrea Quinn. Annie watched Ryan from the stage, she wondered if the young blond was his latest conquest. She had kept up with him from time to time. Since she left him he had become more of a public figure attending numerous high profile functions in D.C.

Ryan was always efficient and he wrapped up his business with a handshake and an agreement to have their mutual lawyers draw up the documents transferring ownership of the half dozen private planes to Ryan's name.

Even though his business was done, Ryan wasn't ready to leave the club. Jim had gotten back to him and given him the skinny on what Mossad could possibly have planned. He said Andrea Quinn had an apartment in Montreal and told Ryan she was booked on a plane out of Marseille the day after tomorrow. He also told Ryan her hotel room number.

"So it's really her? What are the chances huh?"

"Do me a favor?"

"You want me on a plane ASAP?" he read his friend's mind.

"Thanks," said Ryan.

"Don't do anything stupid, at least not until I get there," said Jim.

"One more thing," said Jim who hesistated.

"What's that?" asked Ryan.

"Why is she using an alias she used when she was working for Langley?"

"I have no idea," said Ryan.

"You think she's still CIA?" asked Jim.

"Anything is possible where Annie Walker is concerned," said Ryan.

The friends end their call.


	15. Chapter 15

Note: Happy New Year. I wanted to get this out before I left my laptop at home for two weeks, but didn't get to. Please let me know what you think. Thanks for the positive reviews. I don't own these amazing characters. They belong to USA/CA.

/

After Ryan finished his call with Jim, he found Genevieve and pulled her aside. He had given her a break after his deal was solidified and told her to get herself and drink and enjoy the club, but now he thought to use her to watch Annie/Andrea.

"You know what my company does."

She nodded. "You're a private security firm, yes?"

"There's a dangerous man in there, stay at the club and report what is going on between the Andrea Quinn and Viktor Kozlov, if you hear any of the conversation, text me with this phone, I'm the only number programmed," said Ryan showing her a photo of Kozlov and handing her a phone.

Genevieve was confused, why did she need another phone?

"I will double your hourly rate. Do you think you can do that for me?"

"I'm not a spy Mr. McQuaid," said Genevieve.

"I know, the job is easy, just have a drink, listen and observe. Can I count on you?"

"Yes, I think so, but I have your other phone number," said Genevieve who needed this job.

Ryan looked at her. "Use this phone and call the number on the phone if you need me. I may ask you to pass the phone along to Ms. Quinn."

She said, "Yes, Mr. McQuaid."

"When we're done, head straight to the airport and take the plane back to Paris, my pilot is on call," said Ryan.

"You're not returning with me?"

Ryan shook his head. "My business isn't finished."

"Go on, I'll be close by, give me a call if you see or hear anything unusual," said Ryan.

/

When her Annie's last set was done, Viktor was alone in his booth where he enjoyed hearing the beautiful singer. He called Andrea Quinn over and was a bit handsy with her. She thanked him for his patronage while flirting with him and scanning the crowded club to see if Ryan made good on his promise to leave.

"You must come to my penthouse overlooking the water."

Annie said, "How about tomorrow to celebrate the close of my first engagement in France? I need to rest my vocal cords for tomorrow night's show. Do you have any special requests that I may rehearse?"

Viktor put his hand back on her thigh and Annie promptly brushed it aside before he could make out her holster.

"Tomorrow then, I will keep you to it Ms. Quinn, you will sing for me in my home. I have a grand piano that was once housed in the Kremlin!"

"I'd love to hear how it got there and play on it," said Annie laughing and running her hands through her hair.

"First drink, this is the finest vodka in the world. Stored here for me. You're done for tonight, so have some." Annie felt she had to oblige him since she refused to go home with him that evening. It was a balance she had to strike when working a target.

"Maybe just one drink," said Annie before she caught sight of the woman who was with Ryan earlier.

/

Ryan sat in his car out front waiting for Genevieve to report back on what was going on in the club. While he was surveying the street, he saw a silver Bentley pull up. It was a little late to arrive, the show was over, but for some the drinking had just begun. He watched a man get out of the Bentley who looked oddly familiar. He put the camera lens on his phone to get a better close up and his eyes popped out when he realized it was _Ivan Kravec_. He took burst photos of him and caught a good one when Ivan turned back to hand the keys to the valet. Ryan sent the photos to Arthur and Joan Campbell with a note telling Kravec's location.

"What the hell is that bastard doing here?" asked Ryan outloud. He was back on the CIA's watchlist after they tied him to Nathan Mueller and Aleksandre Belenko, but the career spy turned banker evaded the agency after he was traded back to Russia. Ryan had to warn Annie or she and her mission-whatever it was-would be in jeopardy, but Ivan knew him too. If he saw the both of them in one place, he was sure to grow suspicious. The last time Ivan got his clutches on Annie, he was going to ship her to a prison in Moscow and Ryan wasn't about to let that happen. He knew she didn't need a hero, but if he didn't help her he'd suffer from the guilt.

Ryan called his translator. "I need you to get a message to Andrea Quinn," said Ryan as he exited is car. He dug through the bag in his trunk while he spoke to his translator. He found a baseball cap and put it on. It was the best he could do. He removed his expensive and tailored jacket.

"What do you want me to say?" she supposed her idea that her boss might have been interested in her was too far a reach. He was interested in this singer.

"Get her attention and tell her **Ivan Kravec** is about the enter the club. Be quick. Make sure she understands and pass the phone to her, tell her to call me."

/

Annie sees the woman, girl really, who was with Ryan approach the table where she is trying to keep Viktor's hands off her while he insists on pouring her more vodka. She was on her third and there was no where to trash the stuff as Kozlov's attention was fully on Annie.

"Sorry to interrupt, I wanted to say I loved hearing you sing Ms. Quinn, it was inspiring really," said Genevieve in French.

"Thank you dear," said Annie noticing that the girl was nervous.

"Would you like to sit?" invited Viktor who appreciated beautiful women.

"No, thank you," said Genevieve, I just wanted to meet Ms. Quinn she said in French and maybe take a photo with her if she doesn't mind.

Annie excused herself from the table and the two ladies stood up for a selfie.

"Tell your boyfriend to stop whatever it is he is up to," said Annie.

"Boyfriend? I wish, no he's my boss. He told me to tell you Ivan Kravec is here," whispered Genevieve.

After the photo, Andrea excused herself to the restroom and signaled to Genevieve to follow.

" _Who did you say_?" asked Annie needing to confirm.

"Ivan Kravec?"

"Are you sure?"

She nodded and then a look of worry and concern came over Annie's face. "My boss says to call him, his name is. . .,"

"I know who he is, thanks," said Annie thinking about what to do.

"Um, can you tell the man I was with, Viktor Kozlov, to meet me in my dressing room?"

"Sure. Here's the phone my boss gave me. He wants you to have it." Annie looked annoyed, but she might need a secure phone so she took it begrudgingly.

"Thanks and don't act so nervous, it gives you away," said Annie. "Take a minute and get calm before you go."

Annie didn't want to risk going back into the club and being seen by Ivan Kravec, she had to accelerate her plans and complete her mission _that night_ instead of waiting until the next day. She had no time to contact Eyal to tell him the change in plans. She was alone in this. There was no way he could send anyone in time let alone time to explain the new turn of events. She went to her dressing room and stuffed what she needed into her purse. All she had was her weapon and inside her make-up bag the drugs she needed to administer to Kozlov so it appeared that he had a heart attack. She prayed that she could leave unseen by Kravec, it was a complication she didn't need. But somehow given her history she needed to be prepared for anything.

/

Kravec entered the club and saw the photo of the evening's entertainment at the entrance and he like Ryan recognized the woman in the photo except he knew her as Martine Miller. How opportune, thought Kravec as a sinister smile came across his face. He set out to look for Andrea Quinn, she slipped through his fingers once, but she wouldn't be so lucky a second time.

Soon Kravec learned that Andrea Quinn was with Viktor Kozlov, someone he was familiar with. Ivan inquired around the club and looked around himself before he realized Annie was no longer there. She had left with Kozlov he learned from the MC. Kravec downed a shot of vodka left at Kozlov's table where he had been directed. He learned Kozlov's addess and headed there after he finished his drink. It was going to be a fun evening.

/

Viktor arrived to Annie's dressing room slightly drunk and holding an additional and fresh bottle of Vodka that the club stored for him. "You summoned me?" he said happily.

"You know what? I've changed my mind, I'm not ready for this evening to end. Let's do go and play that grand piano at your penthouse."

A smile came across Viktor's face.

"Let me get our chariot," said Viktor who left with a bow.

"Great pull it around back, I'll be right out," said Annie.

With a free moment, Annie decided it was best to call her handler. Eyal answered and she let him know the change in plans, she had to take out Kozlov that night. Eyal wondered why the rush. Annie said it felt right so she was going to get home a day earlier. The only thing was she left out the detail that Ryan McQuaid and Ivan Kravec were on the scene. Eyal knew Annie well and he knew she was hiding something, but she always got the job done. So he told her, "Be careful, go to the safe house in Le Havre if you need new credentials. Call me when you are done."

Annie climbed into Viktor's car at the back of the club. Ryan didn't know that Annie had left the building yet. He tapped his fingers on his steering wheel growing impatient.

Soon he saw Kravec leave the club. He called his translator and she didn't answer. Annie felt the phone vibrating. She didn't have time to deal with him.

Since Kravec was gone, Ryan went back in and found Genevieve.

"Did you find Ms. Quinn?"

"Yes, I gave her the message."

"And?"

"She went to her dressing room and asked me to tell Kozlov to meet here there. I haven't seen them emerge."

"What about Kozlov? He went in and then left the dressing room."

"He's not here anymore? Shit. You were supposed to tell me if you saw anything."

"Sir, I'm a translator, I don't know what this is about, I don't even know what I am supposed to be seeing!," said a flustered and scared Genevieve.

"Okay, you're off the clock now. Call my assistant to arrange your travel back to Paris."

Genevieve Martel was relieved. She didn't have the nerves it took to do more than translate. She had the sense that something nefarious was going on and she would rather be in her pajamas drinking wine and eating chocolate than spying on people.

Ryan called Jim. "You said Kozlov had a residence here in Marseille?"

"Yep, nice place too on the water."

"Text me the address."

"What's going on?"

"Annie's in trouble."

"You said she told you to stay away from her, I don't know man, let her do her job, you know she's capable."

"Ivan Kravec is here and not he's not, I think he spotted her and is in pursuit."

"Holy shit," said Jim. He was worried for Annie, he had heard from Ryan what Kravec tried to do to her once upon a time.

"I gotta go," said Ryan.

"I'll be on the ground in an hour, be careful, he's no fan of yours either," said Jim.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Here's a nice long chapter for your enjoyment. Please let me know what you think. I wanted to convey that even though each party moved on in their own way over the last nine months, small parts of them still hung on to reminders of each other. Just because a relationship ends and people go their separate ways doesn't mean all is forgotten. Hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 16

The expensive vodka was like water to Viktor. He downed it and kept pouring more for Andrea Quinn, but Annie managed to avoid finishing her second glass during the car ride to Viktor's waterfront penthouse overlooking the Riviera. She had already had a couple of glasses back at the club. He spent the better part of the car ride kissing Annie and trying to get his hands on her breasts. She played coy and conservative saying that she couldn't fool around in front of his driver. Viktor considered himself a gentleman and relented.

Once inside the penthouse, Viktor poured more vodka for his guest. Annie or Andrea flirted and played the piano for him as he continued to drink more. He toasted to her between songs and kept pouring her more. This is what Viktor did, he plied women with drinks and then took advantage of them. Annie tried to avoid it, but there was nowhere to empty her glass in his sparse penthouse. She excused herself to go to the bathroom where she readied herself to take Viktor out. She emerged and Viktor started kissing her, saying he waited all night to be alone with her. She laughed and let him kiss her.

"Wait, let me play one last song for you," said Andrea.

"No, you will play more for me tomorrow," slurred Viktor. "Then pour me some more of that vodka," laughed Annie.

"I'm so glad you like my motherland's drink of choice."

When he wasn't looking she poured the contents of the drug that would induce a heart attack into his drink. He passed out on top of her soon afterward. Annie quickly looked for his phone and downloaded all his contacts and messages. She found his computer and cloned the contents. She wiped down his home and the piano. She was done, she couldn't believe it went that smoothly though she was beginning to feel more than buzzed from all the vodka she had ingested in a short amount of time and on an empty stomach. Annie gathered everything in her purse and opened the door to the penthouse.

But as soon as she opened the door Kravec was there face to face with her sending chills down her spine and causing goosebumps to form all over her body, his hand in mid air about to knock on the door. Ivan was quicker to react than she was due to her inebriated state and he shoved her back into the penthouse entry and closed the door behind him. "Ah, as fate would have it, we meet again Miss Miller!" said Ivan in a sinister voice.

Annie played innocent as if she had never seen him before, but he didn't buy her act. Annie spoke French, saying she was going back to her hotel room.

"Andrea Quinn, Martine Miller, or shall we call you by your given name, Annie Walker?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm a singer," said Annie in French.

He slapped her so hard with the back of his hand that her entire body slammed into the wall. "Where is Viktor?" he asked as he grabbed her arm and dragged her with him as he entered into the living room.

"Viktor?" bellowed Ivan.

"Viktor you stupid bastard, do you know who you have here?"

Annie struggled to free herself and when Ivan saw Viktor passed out on the couch she had an opportunity and managed to free herself from his strong grip. She took the lamp on the end table and slammed it over Ivan's head and ran for the door. She was about to pick up her purse when he caught hold of her gown and caused her to fall forward. She tried to get up, but before she knew it he was on top of her and had lifted her head up and slammed it down onto the marble flooring. Annie gritted her teeth and winced as she continued to fight to free herself. She tried to shimmy her back along the floor to get closer to the door and grabbed Ivan by his crotch causing him to let out a deep angry growl. He then straddled her so that her arms were trapped, then he wrapped his hands around her neck and squeezed. All the anger he had harbored, the grudge he held for what he endured because of her went into choking her. She tried to to get out from under him so that she could free herself, but pressure of his hands on her caused her to be blinded momentarily by the lights above.

"Where's McQuaid? He isn't here to save you this time," laughed Kravec as he eased up on her neck, he didn't want to kill her. He wanted to do what he set out to do the last time, deliver her to Lefortovo Prison.

Hearing his name gave her the strength to push through. She managed to dig her fingers into his leg and was able to free herself enough to reach her gun, the one strapped to her thigh. He kept one hand on her neck and a knee on her chest while he tried to take off his tie so he could restrain her. She managed to gather enough momentum and strength to knee him in the back and got out from under him. Before he knew it she pointed her gun up and shot him in the shoulder while still on her back. He touched his wound, grunted and lunged towards her crushing her with the weight of his body. Annie still had the gun in her hand and she shot him point blank in the chest. His entire body went limp on top of her. She was in a mild state of shock, but pushed his body off of hers before more blood pooled on her stomach. She felt the heat of her gun. She was dazed from the beating and choking, but managed to get on her feet.

Shots were fired, she had next to no time to clean the mess up. The only thing she could do was remove his wallet and phone to make identifying him more difficult. She quickly wiped down what she could and placed her gun in Viktor's hands after she dragged him to where Ivan lay. Then she shoved everything she took out of Ivan's pockets into her bag and left.

Ryan had just pulled onto the road of the penthouse when he heard the first gunshot. "Shit," he was clenching his jaw thinking he may have been too late.

A few seconds later he heard a second gunshot and saw some lights turn on in the units of the building where Kozlov lived. He turned his headlights off and started to get out of the car when he saw her walking briskly from the side of the building. A sprinkled had started. She pulled out a phone and made a call as she walked and looked around. Probably to her handler to give an update suspected Ryan.

/

"It's done," said Annie to the voice on the other end.

"That was fast Neshema," responded Eyal.

"There' just one problem. . . there's another body at Kozlov's and shots were fired so. . . ." Annie heard cursing in Hebrew and held the phone away from her ear.

"Who?" demanded Eyal.

"A man named Ivan Kravec, it couldn't be helped."

"I can't get a team in to clean up when it's hot. Can you get out?" He went to his computers and began monitoring the police in the area as he spoke to Annie in between cursing.

"I'm okay in case you're wondering and yes, I can get out," barked Annie annoyed that Eyal was annoyed.

Suddenly the name Kravec registered with Eyal. "Did you know Kravec was on the scene? He's why you expedited the kill? You should have told me," barked Eyal.

"You would have scrapped the mission and I knew I could get the job done and I did!" argued Annie growing irritated. She never took well to being doubted or feeling as if her skills were under question.

"Fine! We'll discuss this more once you are out of there. Head to the train station, locker 52 has some Euros and your new papers."

/

She walked faster in the cold rain with only a wrap over her evening dress and her purse. She wasn't thinking straight, she needed to get out of there, but they were a a half dozen miles away from the city and in the dead of night there were no cabs about. The police would be on the scene shortly and Annie needed to get out of there. She had no passports or papers on her except those for Andrea Quinn. Andrea Quinn would be sought for questioning as soon as Kozlov was found. She had to get to her documents at the train station.

Ryan watched her remove the sim card and step on it. She then wiped down her phone with her scarf and tossed it in a grate. He started his car and drove in her direction. When Annie heard a car turn over and roar towards her, she picked up her pace. Her head was throbbing, but she pressed onward and when she realized the car was slowing down before it reached her she began to run. He rolled down the window startling her with his booming voice.

"Need a lift?!" he bellowed followed by a sly smirk because he knew she would be surprised by his presence. He rather enjoyed playing her knight in shining armor.

He was the last person Annie expected to see so questions swirled in her head. She had ordered him to stay away from her just a couple of hours ago. How did he know? When did he get there? Did he put a tracking device on her? Who else knew where she was? She hesitated for longer than he expected, but still continued her pace. Accepting his help was the wise option given she was miles from where she needed to be, but the old familiar feelings of needing to go at it alone to prove a point lingered. Even though she forgave him when he visited her in the hospital nine months ago, a small part of her didn't forget that he ratted her out to Joan because he believed she was unfit for field work. Besides that being near him proved difficult as she experienced earlier in the evening. He was a reminder of what she lost and the secret she vowed he would never learn. Being in his orbit unexpectedly meant lying and pretending she had not prepared herself for.

Her hesitation baffled him. Why didn't she accept his help he wondered.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm giving you a ride," quipped Ryan.

"How did you find me?"

"I found out where Kozlov's vacation home was located," sputtered Ryan.

Annie's brows narrowed. What was going on she wondered trying to think.

"Can we save the 20 questions for the car because I am pretty sure the police have been called."

"Police?" questioned Annie.

There were always trade offs and she was calculating them in her head. She wasn't done with her mission and she had to stay focused despite the fogginess she felt coming on.

"I know you love a challenge, but GET IN THE GOD DAMN CAR WALKER! I don't have to tell you that the police are likely on the way and it's raining for Christ sake!" The adrenalin was pumping in him because he thrived and did his best work when on the run.

Annie was beginning to feel light headed his voice had become muffled.

Frustrated and impatient with her unwillingness to accept his help, Ryan stepped on the accelerator and cut in front of her path. He swiftly left the car and ran around the front of the car where he practically pushed her into the passenger. When opened the passenger side door for her, but noticed she was shaking. He took off his jacket and put it over her shoulders before helping her in the car. Annie was too stunned to put up a fight. Her reaction time had taken a hit from Ivan's blows.

"I can …I. ." . stammered Annie.

"You're not going to find a cab easily at this time of night and I'm guessing you need your head start, you know the police will be here soon. You just tossed your phone so Uber is out. I'm your best bet for getting out of here, so use me," said Ryan.

Her silence meant agreement to him so he engaged the car and drove off. Still no police had passed by, they were good, in the clear so far.

"Seat belt Walker. Never know, we might still need to out run the police."

She complied without argument though she fumbled with the buckle.

"What's your exit protocol?" asked Ryan as he checked his six in the rear view mirror. All clear so he was relieved.

His question resulted in no immediate response causing him to narrow his eyes and look over at her. She was still processing what had happened and tried to make a plan in her head of what she needed to do.

"Annie?"

"Um," she closed her eyes and tried to think of her next steps. She had spoken to Eyal or at least she remembered speaking to him.

"Take me to the Intercontinental."

"Don't you think they will look for you there once they establish that you left the club with Kozlov? Can you afford to go back to your hotel?"

"I have time, I need to get some things. I was supposed to have another day before all this went down. I. . . I, it wasn't supposed to be today. . ."

"Jim is probably on the ground. I'll send him," said Ryan wanting to keep her safe.

He dialed him and asked, "What do you need?"

He was taking charge as he was accustomed to doing. If she weren't so out of it she might have gotten irritated with him.

Instead she thought about it. . . .

"Walker?"

Ryan noticed she was off, not herself since she wasn't snapping at him or resisting his help.

"Jim you're on speaking. I need you to get to Andrea Quinn's hotel room at the Intercontinental."

"Roger that, what am I looking for?"

"Annie?" said Ryan.

She finally spoke up after a moment's pause.

"The small roller is already packed with clothes for travel, throw in my shoes and toiletries, but mostly I need the contents of the safe."

"What's the code to the safe?" asked Jim.

Damn it thought Annie to herself.

"Annie? It would make Jim's job a whole lot easier to have the code."

She kept her eyes on the road, swallowed and whispered. "It's your birthday, month and day,"

"You hear that Jim?" smiled Ryan. It was the first indication he had since they saw each other at the club that he still mattered to her.

"Loud and clear, good to hear your voice Annie!" said Jim.

"Same here, thanks for getting my stuff," said Annie. She missed Jim the in the months she was away. He had become a good friend to her during her time with Ryan and they always worked well together.

"Call you when I'm done," said Jim before hanging up.

/

Ryan continued driving, two police cars sped past them causing him to feel the familiar fear of being hunted.

"Where to?" asked Ryan.

Annie looked around for the control to the window. When she found it she rolled down the window for fresh air. A ringing and throbbing had started in her ears and her heart pounded steadily. In the safety of the car and his presence her body began to reveal its injuries. Her throat felt swollen and hot.

"Stop the car," she whispered. It hurt to speak. "Please," she pleaded with her eyes which first the first time looked straight into his. He didn't think they could afford to lose their head start, but he slowed down immediately allowing his concern for her health to supersede their need to get out of there. His worry for her grew, but he was trained to remain calm and measured in stressful situations and one could say he like Annie thrived on the adrenalin and danger of their business.

As soon as he stopped at the shoulder, she opened the passenger door hastily and took a few steps before falling to her knees and vomiting. He left the engine running and was right behind her, when he reached her he put a hand on her back and began to rub and pat her gently.

"Is it your heart?" He asked with concern as he took her right hand and put his pointer and middle finger on her wrist to take her pulse. Her throat hurt as she tried to speak. She shook her head and took her hand back abruptly from his gentle touch.

"I have some injections. I'll get them," he said after he noted that her pulse was rabid.

She looked at him confused and shook her head, she managed to say, "Not my heart, too much vodka too fast."

She used his shoulder to steady herself and get herself up to standing. "I'm better now," she croaked.

"Let's go."

She lost her balance a bit once of her feet and he steaded her and closed the door for her before going to the trunk first. He pulled out a few items before climbing back into the driver's seat. Ryan handed her a bottle of smart water and a nitrate injector.

"Here, hydrate, and take this just in case."

She gave him a puzzled look as he put the car in gear. As if he read her mind he said, "guess I never took them out of my pack."

Not sure how to react she let out a small, "Hmm. . ." as he put her hand to her throbbing temple and rested her elbow on the door. Finally she opened up the water bottle and he noted her hand was shaking. Swallowing hurt from Ivan choking her, but the real pain was a throbbing behind her head. He looked over at her while trying to keep his eyes on the road.

"What the hell went on in there? What did Kozlov do to you?" asked Ryan as heat rose in him and he tightened the grip on his steering wheel.

"Him? Nothing?!"

"Well you looked banged up," said Ryan knowing when he said it that it would irritate her to be called out.

"Ivan showed up," said Annie.

"Shit, I thought I beat him to it," said Ryan.

"Thanks for the heads up, but he still caught me by surprise," said Annie while putting her left hand to her neck and throat to rub the soreness. She flipped the visor down and looked in the mirror after removing her scarf. Ryan looked over and saw the bruises forming on her from where Kravec had her by the neck. He clenched his jaw and felt a familiar guilt at not being present when she was hurt.

"Jesus, we need to get you seen by a doctor," he said as he reached over and allowed his fingertips to touch her collarbone. She swatted his hand away and rasped "I'll be fine." He could see her discomfort and hear the sound of pain in her voice. He knew she was in pain, her face couldn't hide it.

Ryan was frustrated with her pigheadedness and lack of concern over her well being. She always seemed to have something to prove to _everyone_ , he wished she didn't feel that way about him, she had nothing to prove to him. He knew she was amazing and awesome, he just wanted her to stay that way. He didn't want to risk her ire by asking her too much about what happened up in the penthouse. He felt their partnership was tenuous.

Instead he did what he did best, he ordered her to keep drinking. His tone annoyed her. She took another few sips and he noticed her wince as she swallowed. She fished in her purse and took out some pills from her make up bag and took him.

"I alerted Langley about Ivan's whereabouts here in Marseille so they will be on the scene to collect him and see what they can get out of him."

Annie looked over. "You called Langley?" She asked with a hoarse voice.

"Yeah, when I saw him get out of the car to the club, I alerted you and then I called Joan Campbell. You know he's been wanted ever since. . . ." he looked over at her contorted face.

"Relax, I didn't tell them about you!"

"Well, unless he can rise from the dead, they will be wasting their time," said Annie.

"He's dead?" asked Ryan.

Annie nodded. "It was him or me," she coughed.

"I'm glad it was him," said Ryan smiling warmly at her.

Annie dozed off briefly, but came to when she felt the car slow down. They had entered back into the city center. Annie looked around slightly disoriented.

"Where are we" How long were you driving?" she asked in a confused state as she stared at the time on the dashboard, but didn't quite make sense of how long it had been since she boarded his car. She looked outside squinting to get her bearings, everything was blurry momentarily.

"Annie? Did you get hit in the head?" Ryan realizes she may have a concussion. He reminded her, "You said you needed to get back to Marseille. We're here."

"Take a right at the next light then the next left." She ignored his question fearing he was right. She didn't feel herself.

Ryan followed her directions.

"You can pull up on that corner up ahead."

Once he stopped the car, she picked up her bag and turned her body to face him. He looked over at her, still weirded out by her appearance.

"Thank you," she whispered while looking down.

"What? that's it?" he asked trying to make eye contact with her.

Not sure what he wanted she said, "It was nice to see you in person instead of in taboids."

In their time apart Ryan had taken on a more public and visible image in efforts to garner more high profile clients. He was part of the DC social circuit and made some print media as one of the most eligible bachelors in DC. That distinction garnered him a lot of attention. Attention, overwhelmingly from women he wasn't interested in, but encouraged by his buddies he went out with several women. His new publicist said the people in power and with money don't necessarily like boy scouts, they wanted bad boys protecting them. . . men who appeared virile and obnoxious. It wasn't a gentlemen's world anymore and despite his better judgement he went along with it because he was getting more clients.

Ryan swallowed feeling ashamed that she had seen some of the tabloid stories and photos. He didn't pay much attention to them, but his buddies made fun of him and even goaded him for the many women he had been photographed with over the last few months.

"Good-bye Ryan," said Annie.

"I don't feel good about leaving you in this state and what about your things?"

"Tell Jim to meet me at the train station."

"Where are you going now, we're no where near the train station!"

"It's best that you don't know. You were at the club too. Come morning they are going to be looking for me and possibly you to question too."

"What are you going to do at the train station? It's the middle of the night and you're half drunk and unsteady," he tried to say it all in as non-judgmental a tone as possible.

"I'll figure it out," snapped Annie.

"Are you sure it will be safe? The trains and airports are the first places they will look for you. I can take you anywhere you need to go," offered Ryan.

"They are looking for Andrea Quinn, for a brunette with brown eyes. I'll be fine on my own. They won't be looking for me she said as she took off her wig and netting to free her blond hair. In doing so she felt wetness and looked at her finger tips. He saw it too. Dark red blood.

"You do have a head injury. Let me look at that," he commanded.

She shook her head. He handed her his handkerchief.

"Thanks," her tone had softened. It was as if they went right back to their initial meeting. She didn't want his help. She wrapped her scarf around her head and neck to cover up her injuries and protect herself from the rain that had not let up.

As she moved to put her hand on the door handle, he placed his hand on her arm sending a tingle up her spine. He said, "Wait, what if it were Eyal or Auggie offering their assistance, would you take it?" She took her hand away from the door put kept her gaze out the passenger window thinking. . .


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Yes, the answer was yes, she would have accepted help from Eyal or Auggie thought Annie. She knew why she didn't want his help, yet she was still there sitting in _his_ car.

It wasn't easy to breathe the same air as him. It wasn't easy to hear his voice. It wasn't easy to sit so close to him that she could actually reach out and touch him. It wasn't easy to be reminded that he worried for her. It all felt so wrong and undeserving, but also annoying at the same time. She didn't need him. She didn't want to need anyone because that need _always_ left her and the people she cared about vulnerable.

Annie didn't like the feelings that bubbled up in her since she encountered Ryan, the ones that involved a child, _their child_. The child she was going to tell him about when her first Kidon mission in the UAE ended. The longer she carried the child the more connected she felt to him. She hoped he wanted the baby as she grew to want her. The farther along she got the less she feared the idea of motherhood. _None of that mattered now. . ._ as she fought back tears.

"Hey? Are you okay?" asked Ryan stirring her out of her thoughts.

She nodded, but he didn't believe her. She looked sadder than when they first met and he didn't think that was possible. He wished he could read her mind.

Ryan launched into it.

"The way I look at it, _I owe you_. _I owe you big time_. It's NOT that I don't think you can make it on your own. I know you can Walker! No matter what shape you are in, you always manage to find a way to get the job done and I'll say it _a thousand times_ if I need to, I'm sorry I lost sight of that last year. If I can do anything to make things easier for you, _let me, please let me_. I'm giving you permission to use me, no strings,"

he said putting his hands up as if to say he had no hidden motives. He found he understood her better now than he did when they lived together.

"You're not responsible for me _and_ I don't need looking after," said Annie.

Then he said something she didn't expect him to say. "Damn it Annie, _I am responsible_ for where you are right now."

"No you're not!" It was a familiar road of bickering they experienced before things went so wrong between them.

Ryan elaborated in his signature fast paced speech when frustrated, "I don't mean right this minute necessarily, I mean for the choices you made. You went to Eyal, you went to Mossad, you gave up your home _for me and my men_. No matter what you said to me before, I know a small part of you did it for me. At least that's what I've told myself these past few months so I knew that _I meant something_ to you, that the year we spent together _meant something_. We were going to get married Annie. . . that's . . ." said Ryan pointing to himself for the last little bits of his speech.

As he talked she thought it would be easier for her to have a partner, someone looking out for her since things went so horribly wrong when Kravec entered the picture.

Annie heard what he said, but didn't want to dwell on it. She had to get her head in the game. She still had something left to do before she left town.

"Wait for me here," she interrupted when he brought up their plans to marry.

"Where are you going?" asked Ryan eagerly who could not contain his excitement that he would be graced with her presence a bit longer no matter how unpredictable the amount of time would be.

"To pick up some things for our road trip," said Annie.

He was concerned for her, worried that in her drunken and dazed condition, she may not be as alert as usual.

"I'll come with you," said Ryan.

"No, we can't be seen together," said Annie leaving the car.

"How do I know you'll be back?" asked Ryan.

"You're going to have to trust me," said Annie with a weak smile.

/

Ryan watched her run into a convenience store down the street from where he was parked. The way she was talking to him made Ryan suspicious. He managed to zoom in and take a photo of the store front and the older gentleman at the counter. Annie placed a few items on the counter and he watched the man retrieve some items from behind the counter for her. Then she disappeared from his view for at least five minutes. He was growing impatient, alternating between watching the storefront and the clock on the dash. It was taking her a longer time than he expected to pick up just a few items and he was growing worried that she had passed out or something. He breathed a sigh of relief when she reappeared into view and he watched her hand the man some cash.

/

Ryan dialed Jim when he saw that Annie was finishing up at the store.

"The hotel is swarming with cops man, I almost got caught. Have you been listening to the police scanner?"

"I wouldn't understand a lick of it if I were."

"They already established that Kozlov left with Andrea Quinn and are looking through surveillance at the club to create a list of persons of interest, you can bet you'll be on that list. No name on the John Doe, but once they go through the feed, they will see . . ."

"Got it. I need to get her out of town."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Stay behind a while and try to cover up for her, wipe feeds if you can. Try not to be seen. I have a feeling the CIA, Mossad and the FSB will be crawling all over the place soon. And pay off the MC of the club. He let me into her dressing room at the club so he can put us together."

"That's a tall order."

"I know you'll come through."

"You have her things?"

"Yes, I packed it all up and wiped it clean, not just what she asked for. Fitz and Dex, come in handy."

"They are here too?"

"When they heard Annie was in trouble, they insisted on coming along."

"In that case, I'm going to send some photos for you boys to run through, see what you can find out."

"On it."

/

Annie returned wearing a knit beret, carrying two cups of hot coffee and a shopping bag full of sundries. She was out of breath from running down the block. "The store didn't have any clothing, only hats and gloves."

"It took you so long for that?" Ryan pointed to the bag.

"I tried to clean myself up in the bathroom."

"We need to go, they are beginning to look through the club's video feeds and have already established that Andrea Quinn was last seen with Kozlov." He tuned into the police radio and turned the volume up.

"Maybe you can make out what they are saying about your alter ego."

Annie squinted and closed her eyes as she translated in her head. "Good thing she no longer exists," said Annie. "No one is looking for me."

He shook his head.

Annie took out a bag of frozen peas and used them as a pillow for her head. She also took out some steri-strips and a bottle of antiseptic.

"They had those at the convenience store?" he asked suspiciously.

"A little bit of everything."

"I have papers waiting and cash at the train station," said Annie.

"No way, it's too big a gamble. You don't know what leads the police have and whose to say they aren't adding security at the train stations already?"

"You know what forget it," said Annie as she gathered her bags and reached for the door. His reflexes were fast and he reached over her and snapped the door shut.

"Fine, if you want to go to the train station, that's where we'll go. There's gun in the glove compartment for you."

"Let's get one thing clear, you're just a driver in this scenario," snapped Annie making sure he knew where he stood.

"Before we go can you close up the gash in my head?"

"Oh is this you asking for my help?" he said taking the steri-strips and antiseptic bottle from her hand.

She turned to face away from him so he could work. There was a gash about an inch and a half long at the nape of her neck. "You're going to need antibiotics."

"Got them," said Annie fishing a bag of different colored pills from the grocery bag.

"Those from the store too?"

She didn't say anything.

Annie was holding her head with her right hand and began breathing deeply.

"It it your heart?"

"For the last time my heart is fine."

"What is it then?"

"This isn't exactly painless."

"Oh, sorry, I'm nearly done."

Annie took some pills from a plastic sandwich bag and washed them down with the coffee.

Ryan drove and about 10 minutes later pulled up to the train station, but saw numerous police cars at the various entrances. Annie had dozed off and he wasn't understanding the police radio. He nudged her awake. "You need a plan B, you can't go into that," he pointed.

Annie swallowed and the swelling around her neck and in her throat had worsened. The short nap put her into even more of a daze.

"Just drive," said Annie knowing that the French police were on high alert due to recent terrorist activity, she just couldn't think anymore. She really needed to call Eyal, but she didn't want to explain things to him.

"Paris okay? We had a wild time during our last visit," he looked over at her and wasn't sure if she had dozed off again, so he shook her arm.

"Annie? Annie? Is Paris okay?" She came to. "Paris? No, Paris is over seven hours away."

"Where were you going?"

Ryan can't contain his worry. . . she wasn't responding quickly for the situation.

"You need to try to stay awake, you have a concussion and shouldn't fall asleep for too long."

"Annie? Here, take the coffee and drink it," said

"I can sleep," she whispered. "The latest in concussion care is to get plenty of sleep," said Annie.

"So now you admit that you have a concussion. Shit Walker. The latest also says you shouldn't drink and you've had what a liter of vodka?" retorted Ryan.

"Spain, get out of France."

"It's about four hours to the border. We'll be there before dawn and you're in luck because I have a safehouse in Barcelona."

"No, I'm going to drive there myself. You've taken me far enough."

He looked at her in disbelief and again started speaking fast. She wasn't making sense at all.

"How far do you think you'll get? You're _intoxicated_ and you have a head injury! What did you just take because it's obviously messing with your head. And where do you think you'll get a car?"

Annie tried to snap herself out of it and pulled out the gun Ryan had given her.

"I'll take this car. Get out," said Annie.

She opened the passenger door as Ryan was suspended in disbelief, but her legs gave out on her when her feet hit the ground. A passerby gasped. Ryan quickly got out of the driver's seat and said, "Pardon, she's just had a bit too much champagne to drink. We're celebrating our anniversary, pardon. . . ."

Ryan opened the back door and settled Annie in the back seat. His heart was pounding. He wasn't sure if he should be more worried about the police being called or for Annie's health.

/

When he stopped for gas nearly three hours later, he was stiff and tired, but still alert, they had just crossed the border safely. Annie woke up and saw him outside stretching as he waited for the gas to fill the car. Her head was still throbbing and her neck was stiff. From the signs and the brand of gas she gathered that they were in Spain. She saw that he left the keys in the car and debated taking off and leaving him stranded there, but pulling out while the gas hose was still attached to the car might cause a scene, plus she had passed out and still didn't feel 100%. It was time to finally swallow her pride and accept his help.

"Can I drive? I feel a lot better," said Annie when Ryan returned to the car. He was relieved to see her awake. He periodically nudged her and called out her name to make sure she was okay. She remembered none of it.

"No way, you still have a concussion and shouldn't operate any moving vehicles," he said when he got back in the car.

"You've got to be tired," said Annie.

"I am, but strangely energized. I think it's being around you." His flirtatious charm made her uncomfortable and he knew it and rather enjoyed it. "You see how I just was man enough to admit that I'm tired?"

"I'm sorry about earlier."

"I should be used to you pulling a gun on me by now, besides I was stupid enough to give you one," said Ryan and they both started laughing.

Ryan handed her a bottle of water and she stayed awake the rest of the drive to his safe house.

"So when did you start playing the piano?"

"I was seven," replied Annie with no more explanation.

"How long did you play?"

"Eleven years," said Annie.

He whistled, "That's a helluva long time to play."

"And what about singing?"

"I started voice lessons in high school."

"There's a grand piano at my house, you lived there a year with me and I never once heard you play."

"I played it,"

"Never in front of me."

"I guess not," said Annie it was her secret, a part of her she kept to herself. She wasn't ever sure why she kept bits of herself hidden away. Perhaps it was second nature as a spy to never let the real her be known, even by someone she loved and someone who knew what she did for a living and someone on the same side.

He stopped asking questions bothered by what little he knew about her despite their year together. It was silent for a stretch of road. Then Annie spoke.

"Why do you have a grand piano anyway?"

"It was Kelly's," said Ryan.

"It plays very smoothly and has a rich tone to it," said Annie.

It was quiet again for another good stretch of road until Ryan broke the silence.

"So this reminds me of the time we. . ."

"Drove through Venezuela looking for a way out?" finished Annie.

It made him happy knowing they were on the same wavelength.

They had just met and she distrusted him immensely, but he felt like she opened up more to him then than in the present. She had revealed her heart condition to him, something no one else close to her knew about.

"Except there's no body in the trunk," quipped Annie and they both laughed. He saw her loosen up some more and that sweet smile of hers, _the genuine one_. Not the one she employed when she was acting a part.

"Ah, the day is only just beginning, knowing you, I wouldn't be surprised if we had a body in the trunk by the end of our trip," said Ryan.

Annie just shook her head laughing.

"It's good to hear and see you laughing," said Ryan.

And that remark brought Annie back to the present reality and back to business. This is how he had always been with her and how he always made her feel since the moment they met. He caused her to let her guard down and feel things she didn't want to feel.

"How long more?"

"Nearly there," except he didn't want it to end. He wanted would drive all night with her again if he could.


	18. Chapter 18

**Note: I do not own CA or these characters, they all belong to USA/CA writers. Enjoy this chapter! I had fun writing it!**

 **Chapter 18**

Silence took over the car again for the last stretch and Ryan used it to go over things in his head.

When he first heard Annie's voice an avalanche of unexpected feelings came rushing back after he got past the disbelief and awe as he watched her on stage. It seemed silly now, but back at the club he was glad he was well groomed and looking his best for his first meeting with Annie in nine months. She did that to him even when he thought he had gotten past her. After being close to her in the dressing room all he wanted was some time with her when she was done with her mission. Time to simply catch up, find out what she had been up even if it was polite pleasantries.

One thing puzzled him as he drove on through the heavy silence. Of course he understood her reluctance to engage in chit-chat with him during her op. She didn't want to be compromised. And he understood her pride where he was concerned, she never liked accepting help from _anyone_. He didn't know her as well as he should have known someone he was going to marry, but one thing he knew well was her stubborn pride. Still something kept _nagging at him_. He couldn't quite understand why she continued to act so antagonistic and closed off after she didn't need to be Andrea Quinn anymore. No one was watching them in the quiet of the car and they weren't a couple so why did she feel the need to keep up a wall. She was acting like she was still upset with him.

Finally he broke the silence, "Looks like we're getting that time together afterwall," smirked Ryan as he exited from the freeway.

Annie remained quiet and looked out the window. Running into him was the last thing she expected and it threw her off. She tried to focus on her next steps. In the back of her mind she worried about whom he had called about her.

"So how have you been the last nine months?"

"Fine."

He accepted the one word response. He looked over at her, "Now your turn to ask me."

"What?"

"That's how a conversation works. There's a back and forth, a give and take. . . "

"I'm not interested in idle chit chat."

"You're still angry with me then."

"That was a long time ago, it's all water under the bridge."

"You forgive, but you haven't forgotten."

"You know why I didn't want to spend time with you because I knew you'd pull this crap," vented Annie.

"Do what? Try to talk to my ex-fiance and find out how she's been?"

"Why does it matter, you've obviously moved on and so have I so. . ."

"Are you jealous Walker?"

She laughed at him like he was being ridiculous.

"You know what, I'm happy for you. Happy that you're living it up and enjoying life."

"You know you can't believe everything you read. Those women, they don't mean. . ." he fumbled with his words. She tripped him up because he felt a little ashamed by his playboy image when he looked at it from her point of view.

"I mean, none of them mean anything, I'm not in a relationship with any of them in case you're wondering."

"That's almost worse."

"What?"

"Nevermind, I'm not judging, what you do with your life is your business."

"But you've made it your business too, you're reading up on me, checking in and that makes me wonder why."

Annie shook her head, "I'm not interested in your love life."

Ryan pulled up to an old apartment building and scanned the nearby area.

He could see she was uncomfortable and the boyish side of him enjoyed teasing her.

"Where's Jim?"

"Looks like we beat Jim here."

"Have you heard from him?"

"Not since we left Marseille," said Ryan.

"Aren't you worried?"

"Not in the least."

"You need to call anyone?"

Annie looked at her watch. "Nope."

Still in her blood soaked evening gown and thin wrap, Annie she rubbed her arms, when she got out of the car. There was a chill in the pre-dawn air. He took off his jacket and placed it on her shoulders before going to the back of the car. He watched her closely as she steadied herself on the car door's handle.

Ryan took out his suitcase and bag. "Come this way," he motioned as he looked around.

They entered the second floor apartment where Annie looked around. It was rustic and furnished in a shabby chic style. She looked at the exits and opened all the doors creating an escape plan in her head. Then she made sure all the doors and windows were locked. He watched her carefully noting what she was doing.

"I'll see what I can do about the heat, why don't you go ahead and shower first."

"I have no clothes to change into. I can wait for Jim."

"Who says you need any?" flirted Ryan.

Annie rolled her eyes.

"Is there an ETA from Jim?"

"I'd give him another few hours. I asked him to stay to make sure there was nothing connecting us to each other or Kozlov."

"Look in the bedroom closet, there should be extra clothes there. Not sure what kind, but they will have to do until the stores open up."

"I'm not here to go shopping, I'll be gone as soon as Jim delivers my things."

/

Annie ran the shower and looked herself over in the mirror. She was a mess. A bruise had formed on her right cheekbone from where Ivan slammed her into the wall and if you looked carefully you could make out handprints that formed the purplish green coloring on her neck and collarbones. Her upper body ached as she peeled off the part of the dress near her stomach from where Ivan's blood dried. She spent a luxurious ten minutes in the shower to wash off the smell of vomit. Getting the dried blood out of her hair wasn't easy, but she felt fresh when she was done and set out to get something warm to drink. She found Ryan making a fire. He looked up and saw her wearing one of his V-neck undershirts and boxers. She knew he was staring at her chest and it made her blush and wish there was a robe she could grab. Instead she simply crossed her arms.

His eyes couldn't help but to be drawn to her leaning on the door frame in her wet hair and his t-shirt. She looked sexier ever. Then his eyes narrowed, "Those bruises. . . he really did a number on you."

Annie touched her neck and ran her fingers along her collar bones. . . it all felt tender to the touch and it still hurt to swallow, but she said, "I'm fine," as she walked over to her purse and looked through it for some pills and the phone she picked up at the convenience store.

"Sorry the place has been empty a while so it will take time to heat up the flat," said Ryan.

"There's hot water, can't get any better than that," said Annie.

"You been to Spain much?"

She didn't answer him, but thought about the time she had been in Spain to train and gather intel. She had her own safehouse there, but she didn't want to lead him anywhere near Mossad safehouses.

"You don't need to babysit me. Now that we're out of France, I'm good. I can lock up on my way out."

"There's no where else I need or want to be. The kettle's on and I found some canned broth and crackers," said Ryan whose instinct was to take care of her.

"I'm not hungry," she walked over and took the kettle off the stove and made two cups of tea after looking through the cabinets for supplies. She popped the pills in her mouth and swallowed.

He saw how tired she looked despite having been unconscious for most of the roadtrip. "Take the bed, Jim should be here by mid-morning and I can get a doctor here."

"That won't be necessary, I'll be out of your hair as soon as I get my things," said Annie who went into the bedroom and closed the door before he could respond.

He shouted through the door, "We can continue our conversations when you're rested and not so cranky."

McQuaid thought he heard her talking on the phone after she closed the door. He surmised that she obtained a phone from the convenience store back in Marseille. Ryan leaned his ear to the door and tried to make out Annie's end of the conversation, but it was all taking place in Hebrew. He tried to listen for any words he could grasp, but there were none.

Ryan showered after she was in bed and then opened the door to the bedroom to check on Annie. She was sound asleep. Then exhaustion hit him as the adrenalin subsided and he settled into the couch in nothing but his boxers and a thin blanket he found in the linen closet.

/ /

Ryan had not been sleeping for more than an hour before he was awakened by her voice coming from the bedroom. Annie was calling out for help and whimpering. He grabbed his gun from the coffee table and he ran to her room. Once there he saw that she was thrashing in bed. He gently woke her by stroking her face. Before she fully awakened and realized where she was, her body went into flight or fight mode and she immediately started hitting him. After realizing it was him and getting her bearings she began crying. In that moment of vulnerability where her guard was down he instinctively wrapped his arms around her to comfort her. He didn't say anything at first, all he did was hold her and let her cry into his bare chest. He could feel her heart pounding and the hyperventilating that accompanied prolonged crying. It went on for a long time before he said, "Shh, you're okay. You're safe."

At the sound of his voice she backed away from him and swiped her face with the back of her hand.

"You want to tell me about it?" She shook her head without looking at him and settled herself back under the covers where she turned to her side and cried silently recalling the nightmare she just had. Ryan wasn't sure what possessed him but he settled in next to her under the covers wondering what she had been through in their time apart. Clearly she knew he was right next to her, but she made no move to kick him off the bed and said nothing through her tears. She tried, but couldn't control them or the sorrow that could fill the room. He could see that she was still crying from the way she sniffled.

For a long while he just stayed there next to her when it appeared that she had stopped crying he asked, "Did you lose someone recently?"

"Huh?"

"You kept saying please save her when you were having your nightmare," responded Ryan.

Hearing those words caused her silent tears and sobs to return again.

Ryan inched closer to her back and rubbed her arm. He had propped his head on his hand and whispered above her ear, "I'm here for you Annie, you can let me in. I've said it to you before, you don't have to be alone. I know you believed that once."

Annie felt his breath above her as he spoke. He looked down as she turned her face up towards his. Their eyes met and the wetness in hers revealed such pain. Slowly his lips made their way to hers and he believed with all his heart that they were meant to see each other again. She wasn't returning his kisses though all of her wanted to, but she wasn't resisting him either because she did miss him and somehow being near him made her feel close to what she had lost. She was simultaneously reminded of all that was wonderful and heartbreaking in her life. This wasn't a good idea she thought to herself, but she felt such longing for him and she had missed him so much that soon she began to kiss him back which fueled his desire for her even more.

"Nothing is ever so bad that you can get through it Walker. You're tough, always have been," he whispered as he moved his hands down her body. He remembered all the contours of her as she gasped at his touch. He was gentle knowing she had taken a beating just a few hours earlier.

When his lips neared her latest scar and kissed the bumps along her skin Annie said, "I can't, please stop," she whispered while trying to get out from under him.

"Is there someone else?" he asked afraid to know.

She shook her head. "I don't believe we're here by accident Walker."

"We ended our engagement and went our separate ways, we both moved on."

"You ended it," he corrected her while continuing to kiss her because she wasn't exactly stopping him from kissing her and touching her. She missed being with him so much and so she gave in even though she knew they had no future. She was too sad and tired to fight her feelings. She decided to go with her desires and in that moment she enjoyed what he was doing, she forgotten how good it was between them in the space and time that drew them apart. From then on the talking and resisting ceased. Both of them let their desires take control.


	19. Chapter 19

Note: It's been rainy and gloomy, a perfect day to stay in with my coffee and then tea to bang this new chapter out. This chapter is full of back and forth. It's the type of arguing that I imagined Ryan and Annie's characters doing had there been a new season. There's so much heat and baggage between them. I hope you all enjoy it and all the tense moments!

Chapter 19

Annie woke up with a stiff body and grogginess that turned into regret when she remembered what had happened. She looked at the time. It was already late in the afternoon. She must have slept nearly eight hours and her head hurt even more thinking about how she was going to walk back what happened earlier that morning when the sun was waking. Next to her wasn't a certain ex-Navy Seal, instead all she found was a tray with a note saying "Drink Up". On the tray was a liter of water and a glass of orange juice with a plate of fresh fruit and pastries. She was relieved she had some time on her own to think about next steps. Annie looked around and also saw boutique bags by the door. The day was just beginning for her and it was already late in the afternoon.

Annie drank the water along with four Advil. She looked through the shopping bags and pulled off tags on a black bra and underwear set. In another bag she found a dark grey cashmere cowl neck sweater and a pair of black jeans. One thing Ryan still knew was her size and her taste in clothing. Annie stepped out after she dressed to look for her things. Surely Jim had arrived with her belongings. Instead of Ryan she found Fitz in the living room looking out the window.

"Ma'am, you're awake. I was getting worried," said Fitz turning around when he heard the bedroom door open.

Annie went over to give Fitz a big hug. She was genuinely happy to see him.

"You look a lot better than the last time I saw you," said Annie wrapping her arms around Fitz. She winced when his chest pressed into her collarbone for a tight hug.

"I can't say the same for you. The boss said to call for the doc once you're awake,"

Annie shook her head. "Thank you, but I'm okay."

"Really?" asked Fitz, he didn't believe her.

"Really!"

"I have orders." Annie rolled her eyes at the fact that Ryan was still trying to control things and dictate next steps where she was concerned.

"Don't worry about him, you'll just tell him I refused and I don't follow his orders."

"Yes, ma'am."

"We have some food if you're hungry. Dex went shopping while he was hungry so there's a ton on the kitchen table. I just made some coffee too."

"Coffee sounds great. Do you know if Jim's here too? He was supposed to bring my things from the hotel in Marseille."

"He's with the boss and Dex is running the perimeter." Being with the boys brought her back to the adventures they had together when she first encountered McQuaid and then the subsequent joint ops she worked with them while still working for the CIA.

"McQuaid thought rolling deep like this was necessary?"

"I think where you are concerned, he won't take any chances."

"You shouldn't be here. It's a waste of your time," said Annie.

"He only called people he trusted. We'll keep you safe."

"Safe from what?"

"Um, we have reports that the Russians are after you."

"That's old news, I plan to steer clear of Russians from now on so I'll be fine."

Annie needed to get her belongings so she could get on her way. She scanned the area and saw nothing familiar of hers. "Do you know where my things are?"

"The boss put some things in the safe for you ma'am."

Annie looked at "Fitz, stop calling me ma'am, can you access the safe?"

He shook his head.

Annie looked at her watch growing more and more irritated. _Was what she left behind in the hotel room worth waiting for?_

"And where is your boss?"

"He got called in by Interpol for questioning regarding Kozlov and Kravec's deaths. It was routine, we covered up for him and you. Questioning ended so he's flying back from Marseille with Jim."

"He went all the way back to Marseille?" Annie looked her watch again. She looked around the apartment and went back to the bedroom to look for cash. She found some euros and change in on the nightstand and pocketed it. It was better than nothing and a good start. She took out the utility jacket and ripped off the tags before putting it on. She left the bedroom and started to go to the front door.

"Where are you going ma'am?" asked Fitz standing up from his spot on the couch.

"I need some air." She needed to get online to communicate with Eyal. She used her phone once last night and destroyed the sim card.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that," said Fitz.

She gave him a look as if to ask, "What the hell?"

"I have orders to keep you here and safe."

"Orders? So now I'm his prisoner?" The heat was rising in her, but she knew it wasn't Fitz' fault, she had to play this differently.

"He wouldn't keep you here if he didn't think it was for the best," Fitz explained.

"Fitz I don't want to have to bring this up, _but I saved you_ ," said Annie playfully.

"Ma'am. No one is more grateful to you than I am and when McQuaid tells me your safety is in danger, I'm going to be the first one in line to . . ." She saw the sincerity in his eyes.

"Ma'am, I know what it cost you to come for me and Dex and I'm very sorry."

"What happened had nothing to do with you. Can I borrow your phone?"

"My phone?"

She put out her hand as if to expect his phone. He took his out of his pocket and put it on her palm. He complied as she expected. Annie went into the bedroom and made a call.

/

Eyal picked up on the other end.

"Thank Yaweh, Neshema! I was really getting worried. What the hell happened? You were supposed to call me back by noon."

"I fell asleep for longer than expected."

"Are you all right?"

"Nothing a couple of chiropractor and acupuncture appointment won't cure."

"I should have known, you sounded off last night," said Eyal.

Annie got down to business. "I still don't have solid cover papers. I have Andrea Quinn's credentials and barely enough cash to get me back home. It'd be easier if I didn't have to resort to stealing."

"You think it's easy to get these things Neshema? I had a perfectly good set made up for you back at the train station in Marseille. I'm not a magician and now the Russians are onto you."

"What is it with the Russians that's got everyone in a tizzy, that's old news."

"Successfully saving you from a Russian prison once was a miracle. Let's not tempt fate. Ivan called a contact of his at the FSB after he realized it was you and now that he's dead and his phone has been taken the Russians want to know how compromised they are. _You wouldn't know anything about that would you_?"

"I was going to tell you. I guess now's a good time to tell you that I'm at Ryan McQuaid's safehouse in Spain."

Eyal's eyes widened.

"And there's another interesting turn of events. We just picked up chatter that your ex-fiance was called to Interpol earlier regarding last night's debacle, so I was going to ask. . . the Russians may follow him right to you. Is there anything connecting the two of you?"

"Shit! I don't think so, Ryan's men were at the club to cover up and Ivan never saw him."

"We can't take any chances, use him, use his help because he's probably in a better position than I am in to get you out right now."

"You're my handler, you can't abandon me to him. I'm getting out of here without his help. I can make my way to the Cordoba safehouse."

Eyal knows that stubbornness in Annie's voice.

"Neshema, _the current_ has taken you to him and him to you, Mossad isn't big on vacations, but you're owed one after this mission." said Eyal as he worked on figuring out an exit for Annie.

"No, you get me out of here, _the current_ needs to bring me back to Israel."

"Fine! Next time, you're going in with a team, none of this solo crap your old agency let you pull. I don't know how you talked me into it. And you didn't tell him did you?"

"No, there's no reason to tell him anything."

"Neshema, I've stayed out of your business, but you will never get over your grief and sorrow if you carry the burden of what happened alone. He deserves to know."

"Please tell me you have a way out that doesn't involve asking for more of his help."

"Fine, can you get to Valencia by 2100 your time? I can have a yacht there. It'll take a bit longer to get back home but you'll get to enjoy sailing the Mediterranean."

Annie looked at her watch. "No problem."

"Thank you. I gotta go," said Annie when she heard Ryan's voice out in the living room.

/

Ryan returned and found a fired up woman coming out of the bedroom.

"What the hell? You ordered your men to keep me here? Where are my things?"

"Relax, Jim got your belongings. I didn't want you to run off before we had a chance to talk. . ."

He wanted to be discreet so he looked over at his man Fitz who looked away immediately.

". . .you know about earlier this morning," said a smiling Ryan in a hushed tone.

"Feeling like I'm your prisoner doesn't leave me in the mood to talk," barked Annie.

"Fitz, could you clean up and get us ready to haul out?"

"Yes, sir," said Fitz taking his coffee to the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, you know I always have your best interests in mind."

"I don't need you to look out for me. What the hell happened in Marseille? You should have woken me up before you left." Annie spoke quickly and furiously.

"You did need someone to look out for you, you _do_ need someone, where's Mossad now? You're on FSB's kill list and that came straight from Langley not _your agency_."

Ugh, thought Annie. She wasn't sure what he knew or what he had found out and she didn't need yet another layer of complication.

"YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T MENTION ME TO LANGLEY! YOU'RE SUCH A LIAR," shouted Annie.

"And I DIDN'T! _Joan called me_. You're the liar in this relationship not me." He couldn't help getting that jab in.

"Apparently Joan still has contacts at the Russian consulate in D.C. and she heard from them that Kravec spotted you so naturally she wanted to know if I knew anything about that since I was also in Marseille."

Everything was worse than she imagined Annie thought to herself. Here again her personal life was complicating her professional one or was it vice versa. She rubbed her head trying to think of what to do about Joan and the FSB. She felt like her head was going to explode.

"I didn't tell Joan anything if that's what you're worried about, I told her why I was at the club just like I told Interpol and it all checked out. _You're in the clear_."

"I'm a spy, I'm never in the clear, if I believe that I'm dead. You're sure you weren't followed here because you know the Russians have linked us ever since you shot Ivan and we hauled his ass to D.C."

"I took every precaution and that's why we're getting out of here _just in case_."

"What is with the _we_? _I'm heading home_."

Ryan walked over to her and took her hand with one hand and touched her cheek with the other. " _Your home_ is in D.C. Come home with me Walker. It's the safest place for you. My plane's fueled up and ready to go."

Annie knocked his hand away from her face and took her other hand back. "YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE! On top of your huge assumption that I would want to go back to D.C. _with you_ , there are _dozens of reasons_ why that's a non-starter and number one on that list is I'll be black bagged and sent to some CIA black site for God knows how long!" shouted Annie laughing at the ridiculous proposition.

"You'll have to go through a debrief there's no way around that, but you'll be _home_."

"YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MIND. I'll be locked up and I've been there, I won't be caged again."

Ryan knew it wouldn't be an easy feat to convince her to leave with him and he didn't want to do it, but _Joan gave him permission to use force_ , any means possible to get her on U.S. soil if he happened to run into her which he never said he did, but Joan was smart.

"I'd never let that happen, I have connections and I'll get the file on what you did for my men declassified so everyone will know you're a patriot who made a tough choice at great peril to your life and safety," proposed Ryan.

It appeared to him that she was thinking over his proposition, _but she wasn't_. She felt such guilt that he bore the weight of her choices.

"You think you need to save me from Mossad? From Israel?" laughed Annie at the ridiculous situation.

Ryan looked puzzled. "I'm more worried about the FSB right now, but YES! It's a life you were backed into."

His cockiness and assumptions bugged her to no end.

"I told you when you came to see me at that hospital that _I_ made my choice, _I_ chose my career and _I love my work and I love the life I've built_. So for the last time, I don't need a hero."

"What about us?" asked Ryan exasperated that she was digging in so hard.

Annie didn't want to rehash things she had gotten over, but she had to get him off her back.

"US? WE ENDED MONTHS AGO WHEN YOU ACCUSED ME OF CHEATING ON YOU WITH EYAL AND THEN TOLD JOAN I COULDN'T HACK IT IN THE FIELD!"

"What happened between us this morning tells me different," he said softly trying to get her to make eye contact.

"This morning was amazing Walker, I've missed you and how alive I feel when we're together. I haven't felt that way since we were last together. You can't tell me it meant nothing because while I may not know everything there is to know about you, _I do know you still love me despite this act of yours_."

"ACT? Oh, it's _NO ACT_ mister," said Annie trying not to let what he just said move her. She stormed off into the bedroom and closed the door after her. She went to her bag to take out her make-up. She needed to get away from him.

A pit formed in her stomach when she realized the gravity of the situation, she led him on in her moment of weakness and now she _had to hurt him_ _again_ and that was the last thing she wanted to do.

Ryan followed her and opened the bedroom door.

"We were fated to meet on that tarmac in Chicago and we were fated to meet again at the club, life is throwing us back together for a reason Annie. Stop fighting it," he said.

Now he was sounding like Eyal.

"You're grasping at something that's _not there_. What happened between us this morning was a MISTAKE, a BIG MISTAKE and I'm sorry I allowed it to happen, I wasn't myself and _you shouldn't read anything into it_." She said while meticulously putting on make-up to cover up the bruises on her face and neck.

Although her words were meant to sting and hurt him, he didn't believe a word of it. He wanted to yell at her, to shake her and make her see that he understood her fears, but he was in control and took a different tactic.

He spoke softly, "You can't look me in the eye when you say that because it's not true Walker. You still feel something for me and for the life of me I can't figure out why you gave up what we had because of _one error_ in judgment on my part. It was easier on me when I thought you and Eyal were a thing. But I know you're not. AND I call bullshit on the whole my life is my career excuse. My gut says you're hiding something Walker. _You're not the only one with great intuition_."

" _Your intuition is wrong_ ," said Annie picking up the pace with her make-up job.

While he tried to control his frustration it crept out. "God dammit, how can you act so cold? Even at your lowest point when I first met you, there was light that shined through, there was reason and warmth. . . I know that Annie is still in there."

"You're basically saying I'm messed up and dishonest so what is it that you want from me?" said Annie while shoving the last of her make-up into her bag. She brushed out her hair and pulled it up into a low bun.

"You're not leaving here until you tell me what's really going on here. _You owe me that after all that we've been through_! I don't know about you, but I can't just walk away after this morning."

"Yesterday you said you owed me, so now _I owe you_? Walk away Ryan, just pretend I'm one of those girls you've slept with," said Annie.

Ryan felt the sting of her words. No one made him feel what she made him feel.

" _Never compare yourself to them, that's doing a disservice to you and to what we had_."

Annie was so annoyed. "YOU CAN'T KEEP ME HERE YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT?"

The intensity grew and Ryan shouted back at her, "I know you still feel something, you lost someone on a mission and it hit some reset button in you. You went right back to believing that you couldn't be with anyone or have any sort of happiness and security."

She stopped in her tracks.

Jim opened the door after the guys stood outside listening to the heated exchange.

"Everything okay in here? Neighbors aren't back from work, but you two might want to keep it down."

"Everything's peachy Jim, you have my things?" said Annie quickly.

He looked over to Ryan who nodded. Then Jim answered her. "I'll get your suitcase."

"What about the things from the safe?"

"It should all be in the suitcase, uh, boss? Wheels up in less than 20."

Ryan nodded and Jim left.

Ryan sat down on the bed rubbing his stubble. He could see he was losing the battle with Annie, but he had one last thing to use and there was always Joan's directive to take her with force.

Jim returned in a flash with Annie's suitcase.

Annie took it from him and opened it up frantically looking for what she didn't want to leave behind. She tossed the euros on the bed and continued looking under the layers of clothes. He watched her from where he was sitting on the bed and immediately knew what it was she was looking for. Her cash was there so it wasn't that. He stood up and walked over to the wall where he lifted a painting to reveal a safe which he opened up. When she saw what he was doing her heart began to pound heavily. _He had it. He had what she was looking for._

Ryan reached in and took out a diamond necklace, the one he had given her. Looped on the chain was also an oval locket. He turned around and held up what he had.

"You keep this with you and _I think that says volumes_ Annie. _My intuition isn't that off is it?_ "

Annie stormed over and grabbed the necklace. He knew then for sure that the necklace was what she was after, that it was what she couldn't leave behind. He watched her open the locket and sigh with relief. He didn't expect her reaction, he was just going to tease her about it, but he saw tears fall down her cheek that she quickly wiped away.

She could see his smug look and she turned around. Letting him see her that vulnerable is what got her into trouble earlier that morning. She shoved the cash into her purse and dropped the boots Jim packed on the floor. She sat down on the bed to put the boots on her feet.

"Don't read into it, it's a piece of jewelry. Where are the passports?" Her voice was shaky and she couldn't hide it. He could see she was trying to deflect and get off the topic of the necklace.

"They're all here," he said as he took them out of the safe and brought them over to her.

"But I really don't think you were willing to risk your safety to go back for these and you can't use them anyway, you can't be sure they haven't been flagged now that Interpol believes you're a person of interest," said Ryan handing her the documents.

Annie busily unloaded the items Jim packed that she didn't need.

"You're hiding behind your work. You're not being honest with me or yourself. How long do you think you can do this and be happy?"

"I'm perfectly happy."

Ryan let out a sound of utter frustration. "You don't seem happy to me. I'm not saying that I can make you happy, but we were happy once and I know it was real, what we had was real and worth fighting for and _this time I'm not giving up because I know you Walker, you still love me_. I'm willing to give it another go and I think you want that too."

"That's NOT what I want."

He moved closer to her and put his hand on hers from behind as she zipped her suitcase, "Turn around and look me in the eye and say that because you haven't been able to look me in the eye for more than five seconds the entire time we've been together. I may not know all there is to know about you Walker, but I think I know when you're lying to me."

She stayed right where she was in front of her suitcase with tears continuing to roll down her cheeks.

"I chose my work over this and all its complications. It's as simple as that and I'm sorry if your ego can't handle that."

"Okay, okay, let's back up. You never really answered my question why do you hold on to this?" asked Ryan as he lifted the necklace off the bed. He was still standing behind her, so close again that she could feel the heat of his body.

Annie looked straight ahead and swallowed. It seemed she was at another crossroads. She could be stubborn and continue the charade or come clean. She weighed her options, but she still couldn't tell him, it would crush him and she didn't want to do that to him.

Annie took the necklace from his hand and removed the locket from the chain and wrapped it in her palm. She turned around and tossed him the diamond necklace.

"Take it. You're right, I don't need any reminders of my past."

"I DON'T WANT IT BACK WALKER, _I gave it to you_."

He got next to her and forced her hand open and took the locket from her and started speaking in a fast pace. A manner she was familiar with.

"Who is it that you lost that has got you so messed up you can think straight? I can accept it if you don't want anything to do with me if I thought it was true. And even if you do leave here and we _never_ see each other again, I know I'll be able to move on, but _I want you to be honest with yourself_. That's the only way you can move past whatever it is that's messed you up _this time_."

"You don't know the first thing about it, give that back to me," said Annie with tears she couldn't stop again.

"I don't know because you won't talk to me!"

She wasn't able to stop her tears and he knew he had her. " _I said, give that back to me_."

"Is that my hair in the locket? I've been here trying to figure out how and when you managed to get it."

Annie was still quick on her feet, she went for it, but he was fast too. "I'm not giving this back to you _until_ you come clean with me."

She could leave without it, but it was one thing she had left of her baby girl. It was ironic that he thought it was _his hair_. The little girl even at barely 20 weeks did have his hair and the image of her lifeless body after she delivered her came back to Annie and she broke down.

She momentarily lost her balance and wound up on her knees sobbing uncontrollably into her hands. Suddenly Ryan felt terrible, his teasing and egging went to far and he knew it. He hated to see her crying that way because of him. He could see she was in agony. He went beside her and helped her up. "I'm sorry, I got carried away, here have it back," he said gently handing her the locket and wiping away her tears, but she kept on crying.

Annie realized what she had to do, the only way for him to leave her alone was with _the truth_. Perhaps then he'd hate her like she hated herself and without thinking it through further she blurted out through heaves a jumble of words neither of them could decipher. Ryan brought over some tissues and what was left of the bottle of water he left her earlier that morning.

"Just calm down first love," said Ryan stroking her back.

"I lost . . ., the her. . ."

"A fellow operative?" asked Ryan.

Annie shook her head weakly.

"Whoever it was, it's not on you. This work is dangerous and people die doing it."

"She was a ba-, it was a baby girl."

Ryan wasn't sure he heard her right. He wasn't an easy man to shock. She couldn't breathe and crawled her way over to her purse. She looked through her bag for her anxiety medication which she promptly took.

"What did you say?" he whispered through is narrowed brows.

She broke down further and doubled over, "Oh God, I never wanted you to find out."

"Did you say you lost a baby? You were pregnant? Or was it someone else's baby?"

She finally looked up and saw the twisted look of shock and disbelief on his face because _right after he asked it he knew the answer to his question_. He was trying to make sense of what he heard, running the timelines in his head, trying to put it together. When did she lose a baby? He was still so confused, but he was beginning to understand. She turned away from him. She felt him walk towards her.

"No, stay there. Don't come near me," she gathered her things and went towards the door.

"When did you find out?" he said through gritted teeth. She was right, he was angry so very angry and shocked. When she didn't respond he raised his voice.

"WHEN DID YOU FIND OUT WALKER?"

"Does it matter now? She's gone and that's all on me."

Ryan was still trying to process everything as a thousand questions came to him. But finally all her actions made sense to him.

"How could you keep that from me?"

"I found out after we got Fitz and Dex out. I had made my deal with Mossad and I was going to fulfill my end of the bargain. I was in _too far and too deep_ to make contact and we weren't exactly on speaking terms."

Ryan was always in control and usually a few steps ahead of everyone else in the room. His primal instincts kicked in and what he wanted to do was kick and punch something. He didn't like being blindsided and the news was not easy to swallow or imagine. His thoughts were jumbled, but he put two and two together. He jaw was tight and his thumb frantically rubbed his fingers.

"Your gunshot wound nine months ago."

Annie took a deep breath. It wasn't easy to talk about. She spent a long time trying to get over her loss and she still wasn't over it but all of this brought the raw emotions back. He could see how torn up she was, but he was too shocked and angry to comfort her instead through gritted teeth he demanded, "You're not leaving until you tell me what happened right now," as he ripped her suitcase from her hands.

Jim came running in, "We've got company, can't tell if it's the CIA or FSB, but a car just pulled up. We need to get out of here."

"Shit, they must have followed you here," said Annie. "I need to get out of here."

Jim talked into the comms, "Fitz is the car running?"

Ryan shifted into gear. "Get her out through the other apartment, I'll stay back and hold them off." He decided to let her go despite Joan's request that he bring her back in.

Jim tossed him a bullet proof vest. Ryan put it on and took out his weapon.

"I'm staying here with you man, Annie, there's a door through to the other apartment in the pantry, head out through the back, Fitz will take you wherever you need to go," said Jim.

Annie and Ryan looked at each other intensely for a few seconds. "I'm sorry for everything."

"Just get the hell out of here Walker." He said it much more harshly than he intended. He was pissed off at her for so many reasons. The idea that she kept her pregnancy a secret was hurtful, the idea that he could be a father in that moment had she not loss the baby was a shocker he didn't see coming. What if she hadn't lost the baby, where would they be in that scenario. Did it even matter? What happened happened. He was sure what he was feeling, but he shook it off, it was time to fend off some hostiles. He'd have to process it all later.


	20. Chapter 20

**Note: Thank you for the reviews and for reading. Love to hear your feedback and thoughts!**

 **I don't own these characters, they belong to USA/CA writers. ; )**

 **Chapter 20**

 **9 Months Ago** …shortly after Joan received a phone call from Rivka and learned about Annie's return from the UAE.

Joan spent many guilt-filled sleepless hours fretting about Annie. Those hours weren't a waste, the worry led her to engineer a plan to help Annie make her way back home to the CIA where she belonged. Joan felt strongly about that, Annie belonged at the CIA. Despite the many upheavals in their working relationship and the lessons learned, Joan did NOT see Annie's last move coming. Going to Mossad to barter her skills as a covert operative with a knack for languages in exchange for their support to free McQuaid's men was nothing short of brilliant. _It worked_. But it also put her out in the cold.

Annie successfully rescued Fitz and Dex and managed to protect Ryan's reputation by keeping him out of it. But now Joan wanted to give Annie the leverage to return home and she put a plan in place with a microscopic paper trail showing that she and Annie had planned her departure from the agency and subsequent alliance with Mossad all along. Joan's plan gave Annie an out from Mossad and painted her not as an operative who had gone rogue and joined a competing agency, but a patriot who made a calculated move. Now she only needed to get Annie on board, so she turned to the few allies both she and Annie had at the agency.

Joan asked Eric to meet outside of Langley for lunch. After the waiter left with their orders, Eric began to speak.

"Thanks for asking me to lunch ma'am, it's an honor, I couldn't believe it. You're like on my top ten list for who I'd like to have a meal with except most of that list is fictional. You're one of the few real people. . ." rambled Eric.

"Eric, listen to what I want you to do before you thank me."

Eric stopped and while he was eager and excited to be having lunch with his boss, he went to another level of giddiness. He joined the CIA because he wanted to do good, but he also loved the intrigue and excitement.

Joan knew she had his attention and part of her second guessed her choice. Eric wasn't exactly discreet, but her options were limited. She couldn't go to Israel herself and she didn't want to send anyone else in her department. Calder whom she had come to trust took a post abroad and he was just as high profile as she was so that left her with Barber.

"I need you to approach Annie with a proposition."

"You want me to go to the UAE?"

"No, she's being discharged from a Mossad facility in Israel today,"

"Discharged? Is she okay?"

"Normally healthy people get discharged from the hospital,"

"Oh right," said Barber.

"I need you to convince her that she's still ours, still an operative for my task force."

"You want me to turn her into an asset?"

"She's now working for a rival agency, but I want whatever intel she collects on her Mossad missions."

"You want her on the payroll so she can come back home."

Joan nodded. Eric wasn't that dense after all.

"I'm in."

"I know you're not trained in spycraft, but you have to . . . "

"Change my looks, no problem, I've been wanting to . . ."

"No Eric, you're going as yourself, I can't justify and nor do I have the time to get you false documents. Besides this is completely off book. I don't want anyone else getting wind of it and complicating things."

"Got it," said Eric slightly disappointed.

"You'll be enjoying a tour through Biblical lands, a vacation you've been planning for months. Start packing, your plane leaves tonight. Your first day is a free one, no tour stops scheduled, I trust in your abilities to locate Annie once there. You'll make an approach when you can."

"What am I supposed to tell her?"

"This is the hard part Eric." Joan knew how to get his attention and feed Eric's ego.

He nodded.

"You'll need to convince her to turn over any actionable intel she comes across while working for Mossad. I have a system of communication avenues and drops you'll have to memorize and communicate to her. Nothing on paper. Most importantly tell her I'm proud of what she did."

Eric's eyes widened as he scratched his head. He wasn't sure what it was Annie had done, but it had to be big.

"Do you think she'll agree?"

"Annie is a patriot. She went to Mossad because I took her out of the field and she wasn't ready for that so she found another way around the problem."

Eric continued to listen to Joan intently.

"I need your absolute discretion. If you tell anyone I will find out and I won't be happy."

"I don't think I'll need to convince her ma'am, Annie's always been true to this country."

"Well, all right. _Don't call me from Israel._ We'll speak off campus when you return."

Eric nodded.

"I'm counting on you to show Annie she's still has people here who believe in her. Tell her I still believe in her."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Look in your mail today for everything you need."

With that Joan took her lunch to go and Eric did the same.

/

 _"Just get the hell out of here Walker!"_

Ryan's words rang in her head after she scrambled through the apartment next door and then into the waiting car with Fitz at the helm. She wasn't sure how she made it out of the safehouse and into the car, but she went into auto-pilot in a nanosecond when Jim interrupted her poignant and heated exchange with Ryan. Jim said some unknown entity was on her heels. Immediately, she and Ryan shifted gears as they both had been trained to do. It was second nature for them to live on the edge, perhaps more so for Annie as a seasoned operative than Ryan who had eased into life as an executive and the public face of his company.

 _"Just get the hell out of here Walker!"_

 _"Just get the hell out of here Walker!"_

 _"Just get the hell out of here Walker!"_

Ryan's voice, it appeared was on repeat, an endless loop replaying in her head causing tears to fall down her cheeks. Annie welcomed hearing his sharp words in her head because it kept her mind from wandering to what happened in the moments leading up to the order he barked at her.

 _"Just get the hell out of here Walker!"_

 _"Ma'am?"_

 _"Just get the hell out of here Walker!"_

 _"Ma'am?"_ said Fitz who drove away from the rear of the safehouse as soon as Annie dumped her things in and got into the car. He had been unsuccessfully trying to get Annie's attention since she slammed the car door shut behind her.

 _"Just get the hell out of here Walker!"_

 _"Just get the hell out of her Walker!"_

Those words could have been interpreted differently _without context_. If the last few minutes had not happened, Ryan's words could have been an order to keep her safe from the unidentified danger quickly approaching. But Annie knew there was so much more than that behind his words from the manner in which he spat them out. _He was hurt. She hurt him again_. When she made the game time decision to tell him the truth, she did so _expecting and hoping_ that his fury would grow when he had the time to digest what she revealed. _She counted on that anger to free him_. She wanted him to be furious with her despite how sick it made her feel knowing the reason. Annie became certain that it was the only way he would give up on her, on them.

"Annie! Annie?" shouted Fitz from the front as he looked in the rear view mirror. He saw the woman he admired crying in the backseat and he felt terrible. He could hear some but not all of the heated exchange between Annie and his boss, another person he admired and respected deeply.

 _"Just get the hell out of here Walker!"_

 _"Where do you want me to take you? Annie?!"_

 _"Just get the hell out of here Walker!"_

 _"Ma'am?"_

Finally, Annie heard a different voice from Ryan's, she heard Fitz who had been trying to get her attention over the last minute. It was time to snap out of it and shift gears again. She couldn't very well ask him to drive her to Valencia where Eyal told her to go. It was about three and a half hours away and she didn't want to drag any of Ryan's guys any deeper.

Annie thought about her options. She managed to stop crying and sniffling and said, "Estacio Nord, do you know where that is?"

"Yes, ma'am, we studied various routes to air strips, train and bus stations. Estacio Nord was on our list."

 _"Just get the hell out of here Walker!"_

 _"Just get the hell out of here Walker!"_

 _"Just get the hell out of here Walker!"_

Annie had gone back to replaying Ryan's words. Even though she was slumped out of view in the backseat, Fitz saw her brush away more tears. He reached for the tissue box in the center console and passed it back to her.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry about what happened between you and McQuaid. I don't know what's going on exactly, but I know I'm here and my wife isn't a widow because of you. My kids have a father because of you. I was there when my wife gave birth to our second child because of you. I'm so grateful to you ma'am."

Annie wiped away her tears and blew her nose. Hearing Fitz talk brought her back to the present again. She sniffled and took in what Fitz said.

"Congratulations. I'm happy for you Fitz."

"Her middle name is Anne, after you."

"What?"

"My daughter, she's nearly five months old now. I'd show you a picture, but we're not allowed to carry any while on missions."

Annie perked up and blew her nose again.

"You had a girl?"

One might think hearing that Fitz had a daughter would fill Annie with sorrow and longing for her own daughter, but strangely hearing that Fitz was there to see his daughter's birth left Annie with a sense of peace and pride. It was a glimmer of good and hope that came out of her choices.

"Her full name is Eleanor Anne Fitzsimmons. Eleanor for my grandmother and Anne for you ma'am."

"Thank you Fitz, I'm honored, truly."

"Beth and I wanted to ask you to be her godmother. We've put off her christening hoping that we would see you again."

"Wow, again, I'm honored, but I'm afraid I can't do the job from afar. I won't be able to get to know her and be the godmother she deserves."

"I hope I'm not overstepping, but ma'am, you two belong together. I don't know what happened, but I know you can work it out."

"Fitz you have no idea how thorny things got. We're beyond repair."

"The commander was upbeat and happy this morning when he left, I haven't seen him like that since you left."

"That was before everything that just went down."

Annie changed the subject now that she was fully back in the present. Her thoughts shifted to the unmarked black BMW X5 that pulled up across the street from Ryan's safehouse.

"Do you have a sit-rep from Ryan and Jim?"

Fitz shook his head. "They went radio silent after we left."

"Can you try them?"

Fitz turned on his comms and tried to connect with Ryan and Jim.

"No response ma'am."

"Turn on the scanner."

Fitz did as he was told.

Nothing was coming through on the scanners about shots fired or a commotion anywhere.

"Maybe it was the CIA and not the FSB," said Fitz.

"Either way it wasn't going to be good news for me so thank you for getting me out."

Annie felt terrible about leaving Jim and Ryan to mop up a mess she caused. She never should have accepted Ryan's help. She hoped and prayed that the boys were able to evade the men who were after her. Not having any news was good news she supposed.

"I didn't know there was an adjacent safehouse."

"Yeah, it's a pretty smart huh? Ryan has been buying up adjacent apartments and building secret passages at many of his safehouse locations. Came in pretty handy today."

Fitz pulled up close to the train station.

"Thanks Fitz, stay safe."

"It's the very least I could do for you."

/

Fitz pulled away but circled the block and reparked. He watched Annie emerged from the train station and head to the taxi stand. He followed numerous cars behind and because he studied various routes in the city, he knew the cab she was in was heading to the high speed rail.

"Fitz?"

"Finally!"

"What's going on?"

"Wheels up in twenty, we're sweeping the place and heading to the air strip, ditch the car and meet us there."

"What about Annie?"

"She's still with you?" asked a surprised Jim.

"No, but I'm following her cab."

Fitz could hear Jim talking to Ryan. He asked him what to do about Annie.

He heard his boss say in the background, "Let her go."


	21. Chapter 21

**Note:** Sorry this next chapter took longer. Been busy, lacked motivation and was also indecisive about how the rest of the story will play out. I think I'm back on track. I hope you enjoy!

 **Chapter 21**

 _Jumping back to Israel, shortly after Annie's return from UAE. Roughly nine months ago._

Sweaty and sun-burned, Eric located Annie at a cemetery in Tel Aviv. He practiced a script in his head on what he would say when he finally approached her. He watched the few people who had assembled at the burial leave while Annie remained behind. This was his chance, but he was so nervous and the heat wasn't helping. His shirt was practically drenched as he talked himself into walking towards his former colleague. It was now or never.

Annie, wearing a wide brimmed sun hat and dark sunglasses, had settled herself next to the fresh grave. The brief ceremony Annie arranged for her baby who didn't survive the traumatic premature birth was over, but she couldn't bear to leave her side just yet. The psychiatrist Annie was ordered to see by her new superiors suggested that it would be therapeutic and give her closure to bury her child. It was strangely comforting to be there, to be near the child she grew attached to as her belly grew. All the visions she had in her head of reuniting with Ryan and how things would unfold when she revealed that she was expecting their child were gone. She pushed him away and ended any future with Ryan just a few days ago when Eyal brought him to the hospital where she was recovering.

Annie had resolved to remain in Israel, Kidon agreed to use her as a freelance agent when someone with her skills would come in handy. Eyal accused her of running and hiding from her problems, but she couldn't go back to D.C. for a variety of reasons. Mostly she couldn't bear to return and go on with her life as if nothing happened. She did what she thought was best and told Ryan they had no future. He didn't need to know what happened. She told herself she was protecting him from needless sorrow and the guilt she felt over not being able to save their child was too much. Ryan would only be a constant reminder of her loss.

There was so much that had gone wrong in her personal life these last couple of years. She had grown numb to much of it and tucked away the painful consequences her choices brought on. She lost her family and stayed away from them to protect them. Then she met Ryan when she returned to the CIA and he challenged her. He picked away at her defenses and the wall she built out of self-preservation. She finally let him in and found comfort and understanding for a brief time. As she thought about her time with him, she wondered where it all went wrong. Although it was hard to admit, she knew it was inevitable that she'd wind up where she was in that moment, _alone_. She chose her work, she chose being in the field, she chose being an operative and this time the cost of her choices was an innocent child. She convinced herself she was needed, she was the only one who could do the job, there was no other way, lives were at stake if she didn't act, and so she made her deal with Mossad once again doing the right thing for the greater good at great personal cost. She finally allowed herself to confront her own hubris and what it cost her.

Annie turned towards the footsteps.

"Eric, I was wondering when you'd approach."

"So much for being stealthy."

"How did you find me?"

"I found Eyal Lavin and followed him hoping to find you."

"So who died?"

Annie ignored the question.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm on a Life of Jesus tour."

Annie removed her sunglasses and her face revealed her disbelief.

"We start in Bethlehem tomorrow and end at Golgotha. I'm looking forward to it actually."

"Really?"

"Annie are you all right?" She looked so pale. The last time he saw her like that she had been shot in the chest by Lena Smith.

"I'm fine. You're not here to see about my health, what is it?"

Eric started to whisper and his eyes darted around as he spoke though no one was within earshot of the pair.

"You know our boss, well your former boss who still wants to be your boss, she wants you to know she still believes in you and has kept you on the pay-roll and. . ."

Annie wasn't sure she completely understood what Eric was intimating.

"I'm not following Eric."

So in typical Eric fashion he spit it out what he was inept at saying in a veiled way, "Uh, she wants you to pass along intel to her, to us, to the DPD."

Annie's brows furrowed. Well, her life just gets more and more interesting. She should have seen this coming. Yet another crossroads. Betray the agency that took her in, gave her a new home and helped her when her own country refused to do what it took to save its own men? This meant betraying Eyal too. He was the only true friend she had at the moment.

Eric was uncomfortable with the lack of response from Annie.

"She wants you to be able to come home."

"Home? I don't think I know what that is anymore."

"You do Annie. It's where you're from, it's where we worked, where you met Auggie and me. If you won't do it or for Joan or for me, do it because it gives you options, you're the only person we have with the skills and access, plus we're pretty much aligned with Mossad so it's not that big a deal if you really think about it. Please?"

Annie still didn't say anything.

Eric was nervous and hot. He took her lack of response as tacit consent. He kept talking and explaining the system of communicating and passing along any intel she came across on her Mossad missions.

"Annie, Joan hopes you will be able to return one day. "

Annie slowed down and started inhaling and exhaling deeply while touching her hand to her stomach. Her painkillers were wearing off and her gunshot wound was starting to throb.

"Are you okay?" Eric looked over at the grave. He took mental note of what the stone marker in the ground said:

Held too briefly

Loved Forever

Sleep Angel Sleep

"Barber, I'm not going to be on any missions for awhile."

"That's okay, get in touch when you are back in the saddle."

Eric looked around before taking a package out of his messenger bag. He left it beside her.

"What if I don't do anything with this?"

"Then I've failed the most important thing Joan has asked me to do," said Eric.

Annie sighed.

"Enjoy your tour Barber."

"Thanks," Eric walked away hastily.

Annie looked at the grave marker as she contemplated Eric's message from Joan. She would always be loyal to her beloved country even if the agency she worked for didn't always have her back. If the baby's death was going to mean anything, she supposed she'd just have to carry on with the job she was trained to do.

/

 _Back at Ryan's Safehouse in Barcelona_

Ryan shifted gears on the spot much like Annie did as soon as he learned a car had pulled up in front of the building. He had just ordered Annie to leave. His jaw and fists held all his tension and anger. He was ready and looking forward to taking it all out on the men fast approaching his safehouse. Ryan donned the bulletproof vest Jim tossed him and loaded his gun. As he readied himself he wondered how many children were home from school and how many people were back from work and how long the response time from the local police would be if shots were fired.

"Looks like three men," said Dex. 

How in the hell were they going to manage to confront the men? They couldn't very well shoot their way out of the situation and not incur damaging consequences. _It simply wasn't the smart play_. There had to be another way and although he wanted to avoid thinking about her, he couldn't help it. Loading weapons and gearing up for a gunfight wasn't what Annie would do. His mind quickly went to that moment in Maracaibo where her quick thinking threw the Venezuelan police off their scent. "Damn her!" thought Ryan. He hoped he wouldn't regret what they were about to do, but as a last resort their weapons were loaded.

"Wait a sec. There's a better way than ambushing them," said Ryan.

"I'm all ears boss," said Jim who was confused.

"Quick, set up the laptop to show flights out of Barcelona into any port city in Portugal. Throw 'em off her scent," ordered Ryan.

Jim and Dex went to work knowing that the men would be at the door to pick the lock any second. Ryan took a map of Portugal out from a drawer full of maps and left it out. He went to the bedroom and gave it a once over, leaving enough evidence to show that Annie had been there, but had taken off for good. While doing so he caught a whiff of her lingering scent while he stood in the spot where she doubled over crying as she finally spat out the truth. She was pregnant. She gave birth. The baby didn't survive. She didn't tell him. Again, a multitude of emotions chief among them disbelief hit him like a ton of bricks. Knots formed in his gut and he clenched his jaw.

"Are you done in here?" asked Jim.

Ryan nodded, stirred out of his thoughts.

"Let's get next door," whispered Jim. The three men entered the adjoining apartment through the pantry and watched the camera feeds in their pumped up state. They were ready in case they needed to be with weapons in hand.

The three men who entered the apartment were speaking Russian. Ryan understood a little Russian and he knew enough to make out that they were instructed to grab Annie at all costs. He heard the call one of the men made to check the airport for women matching Annie's description. They continued to watch the men as one searched the apartment and the other looked at the laptop. Another man picked up the map of Portugal. After about five minutes of looking around the apartment and digging through the items left behind, the men left.

"It fucking worked!" said Jim in boyish disbelief. He never knew Ryan to shy away from a fight, but this tactic of creating a distraction and diversion worked and resulted in no bloodshed, damage or commotion. It wasn't the way he was trained, but Jim enjoyed pulling one over on the Russians, to him it was absolutely poetic.

Ryan wasn't in a celebratory mood.

"We bought Annie some time. What now?"

Ryan paused, he was picturing her pregnant on her mission with Eyal. She must have been pregnant before she left D.C. It dawned on him that perhaps she was pregnant during the mission in Syria. He wondered when she found out. He went on those initial weeks she was gone worrying about her after he found out she was the one who orchestrated and carried out the rescue of his men. Everyone around him told him she was fine and not to worry about her. And so he went on with his life as best as he could none the wiser. It turns out he was right to worry.

"Ryan? Shall we meet up with Fitz and Annie?"

Ryan shook his head. "Clean up, twenty minutes tops and we fly out of here," responded Ryan gruffly as he began to angrily pack up the surveillance equipment.

"Really? What about what Joan asked of us?"

Jim witnessed on the surveillance of the safehouse the heated conversation between Annie and Ryan just before the Russians showed up, but he knew it would be a bad idea to bring that up.

"What if she's still with Fitz, it's only been less then eight minutes since they took off."

"She has everything she needs to make it back to wherever the hell she's going! She doesn't want to go back to D.C. and I sure as hell can't control her, " shouted Ryan.

Jim rarely saw Ryan lose it, but he recognized the signs when his best friend and oldest Navy buddy began to teeter on the edge. But as his friend he had to say it, even if it meant poking the beast.

"Ryan, you're in shock over Annie's pregnancy and the loss of your baby, but don't do anything you'll regret. I know you man and I know this is going to. . ." before he finished up, Ryan charged at him and pinned him against the wall.

"What the hell do you know?" yelled Ryan in Jim's face as one forearm was under his best friend's chin and the other was on his shoulder. Jim kept his cool.

"I was here watching like you asked. Making sure she stayed put and recording her calls. So yeah, I saw and heard everything man and I'm sorry. I'm sorry about the baby, I'm sorry she didn't tell you, but fuck it, I'm NOT sorry she left and made that deal with Mossad. It was a badass move and you know it. Fitz and Dex, they wouldn't be here otherwise. I can stand here and not say anything or I can be a friend, the friend you need and tell you that you need to go after her and work out your shit because she did it for you."

Ryan eased his grip on Jim and stepped back.

"Joan asked you to bring her in and you're letting what happened cloud that. She's in danger and I know even though you're angry now, you wouldn't want anything to happen to her."

Ryan with one fell swoop took everything off the table before them causing maps and a laptop to fly. Jim didn't flinch. He simply raised an eyebrow and although he wanted to say something more, he kept his mouth shut. He knew he had said enough for the moment.

Jim realized his phone was buzzing. It had been on and off for the last couple of minutes. He picked up.

Jim listened to Fitz on the other end and then spoke to Ryan.

"It's Fitz, he's still got eyes on Annie. She's in a cab, he thinks she heading to the high speed rail."

Ryan was on his hands and knees to pick up the things he knocked onto the floor. He couldn't deal with her, he didn't want to deal with it anymore. When he arrived back from Marseille earlier, he was happy and hopeful, eager to have an honest and open conversation with her. He almost laughed as he thought about the turn of events. She got exactly what she wanted. She accomplished her goal of getting him to give up on her. She did what she did best as a spy. She manipulated him. All he wanted to do was get on a plane and get out of there, out of that apartment. He needed some distance, he needed to not feel what he was feeling.

"Let her go," he said softly to Jim. "Tell him to let her go, we're done, we never should have been this involved to begin with. This was all a big mistake." He was saying, "let her go" as much to convince himself as to give the order to his men.

Ryan left Jim in the other apartment and went into the safehouse next door. He needed to do something and keeping busy was his answer. He quickly cleaned up the living room and collected all the electronic equipment and maps they left out for the Russians to find. He went into the bedroom next, pausing to stare at the bed where he spent a few hours with Annie after her nightmare. That nightmare. . .she was distraught, that was real. Her tears were real. She kept saying, "Please save her."

Ryan shook his head. He didn't have time to go there. He had several shopping bags to clean up and items Annie left behind. He tossed everything of Annie's into a trash bag until he got to the t-shirt of his that she wore to sleep. He brought it up to his face and breathed deeply before he buried his face in it. The shock of the news was finally hitting him. _She had a baby. His baby. A baby girl._ What did he miss? How could he miss it? Gone, the baby was gone and Annie was gone. He didn't have the chance to rejoice at the news or mourn the loss. And how was he supposed to mourn something he never knew he had to begin with?

Ryan sat down at the edge of the bed with his arms propped on his thighs and his head down in his hands. Jim watched from the other apartment before he closed down the remaining surveillance laptops and packed them up. His friend and boss deserved some privacy, even if it was just for a minute.


	22. Chapter 22

Note: I don't own these amazing characters. They belong to CA writers. Thank you for staying with me and continuing to read.

Chapter 22

Fitz had studied the area and knew how much time he had to make it to the air strip. He continued to follow Annie's cab for as long as he could. He watched her exit the cab, then he followed from a distance. She had put her hair up and donned dark sunglasses. Fitz abandoned his car and followed Annie inside the train station. He watched her buy a ticket at the electronic kiosk and noted the track she headed towards. The train was heading to Valencia.

Fitz left the train station and hailed a cab to the small airstrip where his boss and colleagues were waiting.

/

 _On McQuaid Securities Private Jet_

Jim had just finished speaking on the phone with his contact at the CIA and was about to dial Fitz when he showed up.

"Took you long enough, we were going to leave your sorry ass and make you fly coach!" said Jim.

"I stayed on her for as long as I could," whispered Fitz.

"Where did you leave her?"

"I saw her get dropped off at the high speed rail, it didn't look like anyone else was on her tail. I followed her and last saw her heading towards a track for a train to Valencia."

"What happened with you guys?"

"The Russians were idiots, we threw them off and set them on a wild goose chase."

"What do they want with her this time?"

"She killed Ivan Kravec, former FSB and money man for lots of higher ups in Moscow and some Russian mobster who specializes in bribes and deals in arms occasionally. Got her hands on a ton of intel from those two dirty Russians. I'd say that's enough reason."

"Why aren't we helping her?" asked Fitz.

Jim shook his head. "Not our call to make."

"She cried almost the entire time I was with her," said Fitz to Jim.

Ryan had just come out of the cockpit having overheard the conversation between Fitz and Jim.

"Uh sir, she was completely distraught," said Fitz addressing his boss.

"Annie Walker is not our problem anymore, she has the support of her agency to get out of Spain."

"She's done so much for us, for me. We can't leave without making sure she's out of danger. You know she would do the same for us. She's heading towards Valencia, we can fly there and catch up with her before her train arrives at the station."

Ryan paused at Fitz's words. It was true, Annie was a lot of things, but she was never selfish, that was her downfall, she put too much on herself and risked her life and the life of their child. She didn't need a hero because _she had to be the hero_. God dam her thought Ryan.

Ryan rubbed his five o'clock shadow while clenching his teeth, finally barked, "Annie made it clear to me, she doesn't need anyone, sit your ass down, Jim, are we clear for take off?"

Jim looked at Fitz and shook his head letting him know that it was not worth pursuing.

Jim nodded and Ryan headed to the cockpit and settled back into the pilot's seat in the cockpit.

Jim took a deep breath. "One more thing before we take off."

"What the fuck is it now?" growled Ryan.

"The intel came back on the photos you sent of Annie with the man in the convenience store back in Marseille."

Ryan stopped and looked over at Jim who was in the co-pilot chair.

Jim continued, "The owner was an asset of Joan Campbell's from her days working in the Balkans. She helped him and his family start a new life in Marseille back in the late 1990s. My source at Langley says Annie passed him a copy of Kravec's sim card and whatever intel she procured at Kozlov's. The DPD is on all cylinders, the intel has unleashed a shitload of evidence about the Russian involvement in our recent elections and it doesn't look good for a lot of people in power on both sides."

It sounded ludicrous as Jim said it out loud. He couldn't believe what he was saying and the ramifications if the intel was verified. Ryan sat tapping on the control yoke furiously with his thumbs. He seemed paralyzed and unsure of what to do. It was completely out of character for him.

"You know that this means Annie is working for Langley and Joan again. . .I mean she could have been working for them since the beginning and Joan was in on the gambit with Mossad the whole time. . . "

"I know what it means! God damn Annie Walker and Joan Campbell."

Ryan unbuckled himself and reached into his pocket. He dialed Joan Campbell.

"Are we still taking off?"

"Give me a minute!" shouted Ryan.

/

Ryan has a heated exchange with Joan while pacing the length of the aisle of his private jet. Fitz was seated in one of the oversized recliners and there was nowhere to go so he pretended not to pay attention.

Joan picked up and immediately without greeting Ryan, she asked, "Do you have her?"

"Annie?"

"No! She's gone, out of my reach," said Ryan harshly. That was literally and figuratively true in Ryan's mind.

"I thought you were with her McQuaid, I tasked you with bringing her home," said Joan in her all business and no nonsense way.

"I was with her and then things went to shit Joan." Joan wasn't sure what that meant, was Annie in Russian hands?

"What happened? Is Annie okay?" Ryan didn't know if she was okay or not, he vacillated from not giving a shit about her to worrying about her safety. It had been a day of ups and downs and twists and turns.

"How long has she been passing you intel?"

Joan ignored Ryan's question.

"Ryan, I don't understand what happened, but it's imperative that you bring her back to D.C. She's not safe otherwise."

"Did you know she was pregnant?"

There is a long pause on the other end. Joan swallowed and looked up at her office ceiling. As a mother herself she spent many nights holding her own son and thinking about Annie and what she had suffered.

"I know you heard me, did you know about the baby?"

Joan exhaled deeply and replied, "Not until a few days after she was shot. I'm so sorry Ryan."

"God damn it Joan! Never once in the dozen times I've seen you since did you think to mention. . .all of you at the CIA you're all the same, all you do deceive and manipulate. Do you people even know what the truth is?"

"Ryan, you knew who you were getting involved with, she may have kept things from you, but she's not malicious."

"What the hell happened in the UAE? Who the hell shot her? Was she working for you then too? I deserve some fucking answers Joan!"

These and many other questions had gone through Ryan's head since leaving the safehouse.

"No she wasn't working for me when she was on that mission. I know it is hard to swallow, but the issue at hand is getting Annie back home onto American soil before the new administration takes over, we have very limited time here and I may not be in a position to protect her come January 20th. Do you understand? It's now or not for a long time."

"She is getting extracted by Mossad. I don't know where she is now. She's gotten a headstart."

Joan kept herself from swearing, but spoke harshly. "You were the last person with her, you have to have an idea! You are the only one in a position and with the resources to extract her."

"Is that even what she wants because it didn't seem like it to me!" countered Ryan.

"We had a series of drops set up that only Annie initiated. I heard from our go-between for this mission and spoke only for a minute with Annie."

"And?"

"She wasn't amenable to returning to D.C. on her own accord and that's why I asked you to bring her home. You let your personal feelings get in the way of that."

"Tell me what you know about her mission in the UAE. I want to know who shot her and caused her to lose the baby. Was it Al-Zawi?" Ryan's on and off fury returned and he wanted to know who was responsible for what happened to Annie.

"I don't have that intel and even if I did, it won't change what happened. It won't bring back your daughter."

His daughter. Hearing those words echo turned his stomach into knots. He had tried not to go there, not to picture a blond haired baby girl held by the woman he loved, lost, found and lost again. He tried not to do the calculations to figure out how many months old she would have been in the present.

"If she makes it back to Israel, she'll be safe there. Mossad is not going to let the Russians get to her," said Ryan hoping to God that Annie managed to make it to her extraction point safely.

"It may not be just the Russians after her in the coming days and weeks."

"You and I are going to talk some more when I get back in D.C., I'm not done asking questions Joan!"

Ryan threw the phone down onto one of the leather seats and stormed back to the cockpit to get ready to fly out of France. He started punching controls on the flight deck.

"Uh, you punched in the wrong altitude," said Jim.

"I've got this boss, go pour yourself some whiskey, you need it."

"I'm fine."

"No you're not."

"I've got it under control," yelled Ryan.

"No offense, but I wanna get home in one piece. You're distracted and you have cause to be. Go back there and decompress. I'm saying that as your friend."

Ryan unclipped his seatbelt again. He was always the one in charge and he loved to fly. Being in the cockpit always seemed to put him at ease, but not on this day.

"It's Annie we're talking about, she can look after herself," said Jim.

Ryan got up out of his seat and left the cockpit. "Yeah, that's the problem, she doesn't know when she needs help." She made it clear she didn't need his help, but he also passed up the chance he had to stay on her heels. Now she had a huge head start, there was no way he could catch up to her. It was useless to try.

When he got to the seating area, he threw a lamp on the console across the plane and punched the wall separating two sections of the plane a half dozen times before he stopped and sat down on the floor of the plane with bloodied knuckles resting on top of his knees.

"What the hell is going on out there?" yelled Jim from the controls.

Fitz fetched some ice from the galley while Dex poured a long whiskey for his boss.

Ryan McQuaid was not a man who lost control often. He took the ice and whiskey and asked, "Where's that surveillance equipment from the apartment?"

The two men looked at each other, each afraid of the superhuman strength Ryan McQuaid had the reputation of summoning when the situation called for it.

"I'll set it up for you on the table over there," said Fitz.

Jim came on over the intercom, "Get your seatbelts on gents, we're clear for take off."

Fitz and Dex went to the back of the plane letting Ryan have his space. Ryan stood up and took his whiskey to the table where Fitz had set up the laptop. He fired it up, inserted his headphones into the jack and started looking for the confrontation he had with Annie at the safehouse. When he found it, he replayed those gut wrenching minutes a half dozen times before yanking off the headphones.

 _Below is the part of the surveillance feed from the safehouse that Ryan replayed (from Chapter 19) and watched until he practically memorized the whole thing._

 _"Whoever it was, it's not on you. This work is dangerous and people die doing it."_

 _"She was a ba-, it was a baby girl."_

 _Ryan wasn't sure he heard her right. He wasn't an easy man to shock. She couldn't breathe and crawled her way over to her purse. She looked through her bag for her anxiety medication which she promptly took._

 _"What did you say?" he whispered while his brows narrowed._

 _She broke down further and doubled over, "Oh God, I never wanted you to find out."_

 _"Did you say you lost a baby? You were pregnant? Or was it someone else's baby?"_

 _She finally looked up and saw the twisted look of shock and disbelief on his face because right after he asked it he knew the answer to his question. He was trying to make sense of what he heard, running the timelines in his head, trying to put it together. When did she lose a baby? He was still so confused, but he was beginning to understand. She turned away from him. She felt him walk towards her._

 _"No, stay there. Don't come near me," she gathered her things and went towards the door._

 _"When did you find out?" he said through gritted teeth. She was right, he was angry so very angry and shocked. When she didn't respond he raised his voice._

 _"WHEN DID YOU FIND OUT WALKER?"_

 _"Does it matter now? She's gone and that's all on me."_

 _Ryan was still trying to process everything as a thousand questions came to him. But finally all her actions made sense to him._

 _"How could you keep that from me?"_

 _"I found out after we got Fitz and Dex out. I had made my deal with Mossad and I was going to fulfill my end of the bargain. I was in too far and too deep to make contact and we weren't exactly on speaking terms."_

 _Ryan was always in control and usually a few steps ahead of everyone else in the room. His primal instincts kicked in and what he wanted to do was kick and punch something. He didn't like being blindsided and the news was not easy to swallow or imagine. His thoughts were jumbled, but he put two and two together. He jaw was tight and his thumb frantically rubbed his fingers._

 _"Your gunshot wound nine months ago."_

 _Annie took a deep breath. It wasn't easy to talk about. She spent a long time trying to get over her loss and she still wasn't over it but all of this brought the raw emotions back. He could see how torn up she was, but he was too shocked and angry to comfort her instead through gritted teeth he demanded, "You're not leaving until you tell me what happened right now," as he ripped her suitcase from her hands._

/

Ryan sat back after viewing the exchange numerous times. He wound it back to the same spot to watch over and over again. He was there, he was at her bedside after she was shot and she had the perfect opportunity to tell him. She didn't. She kept her distance all these months. Damn her, thought Ryan so utterly frustrated by her actions. It was unforgiveable. She should have told him, she could have managed to find a way to get a message to him. Why the fuck didn't she? He ran his hands through his hair and grabbed chunks of it literally pulling his hair out trying to understand Annie Walker.

Suddenly the satellite phone on board rang. Dex picked up and looked over at his boss, "It's Eyal Lavin. He wants to know if Annie is still with you."


	23. Chapter 23

Note: Let me know what you think of this. I want to wrap this fanfic up soon. I'll try to do it by the end of the month.

Chapter 23

Ryan began to worry as soon as he heard that it was Eyal Lavin on his sat phone. Eyal wouldn't call him unless it was dire, he's never called him, it's always been Ryan who reached out. He looked at his watch before taking the phone. They had been in the air a lot longer than he thought. He must have lost himself in the footage.

"You don't know where she is?" asked Ryan as soon as he took the phone from Dex.

"She's not with you?"

"You gave her instructions on her exit a couple of hours ago didn't you?"

"I did and she hasn't called for further instructions." Ryan heard choice words in Hebrew.

"Shit," said McQuaid as dread filled his heart. He was angry and unforgiving earlier, he should have gone after her. He mumbled something under his breath that Eyal didn't catch.

"When did you last see her?"

"At my safehouse, but my man dropped her off at the Estacio Nord train station and then followed her in a cab to the high speed rail station."

"I see," said Eyal tapping his pen. "Well it's only Interpol, the FSB and the CIA after her so any number of things could have gone wrong," said Eyal with the sarcasm he turned to in stressful situations.

"You don't have to worry about the CIA, I was tasked with bringing her in and I'm obviously not. Where was the extraction point?"

Eyal thought it was interesting that Ryan was not with Annie. "I told her to get to Valencia by 2100, but she was to call me with further instructions, maybe a local police officer spotted her after Interpol's alerts or the Russians. . ." said Eyal. He began to look through the police scanners for information on anyone fitting Annie's description.

"My men and I took care of the Russians at least the ones in Marseille," said Ryan.

"Was she well when you last saw her?" asked Eyal.

Ryan wasn't sure how to answer that question. She was definitely not okay, yet she pulled herself together enough to get out of his safehouse.

"McQuaid? She said she was injured, was she well enough to travel?"

"She had a concussion and some bruises, but…"

"But what? She had a concussion and you let her travel alone?"

"We argued and then the Russians showed up. . .it was a . . ."

"Wait, I'm getting a call."

Ryan waited on the other end. He debated having Jim turn the plane around. Then her words echoed, "I don't need a hero. . ."

"That was her, she's heading to the extraction point. Always some excitement when Annie's involved."

Relief washed over Ryan.

"Thanks for helping her out in Marseille."

"Well I owed her so. . ."

"That's why you let her go…because you owed her…, well thank you for not nabbing our operative, take care McQuaid."

Eyal was about to hang up when Ryan said, "Wait I need to ask you some questions."

Eyal's eyebrows contorted on the other end.

"Just for a minute, I'm still in the middle of an extraction here."

"How could you allow her to continue the Al-Zawi mission? You had to have known she was pregnant at some point during the op."

Ryan's question was met with silence from Eyal who sat at the other end in disbelief. Well, well, well, Annie finally told Ryan about the baby thought Eyal.

"She finally told you? Wonder of wonders," said Eyal.

"I had a right to know and she should have told me long ago," said Ryan bitterly.

"You should know she was looking forward to returning to you despite everything you did, but. . .now you know why she didn't. . ."

"What did you say?"

"I'm sorry I usually keep my mouth shut in personal matters. This is none of my business McQuaid, the person you need to talk to is Annie."

"I'm sure I'll get more information from you than Annie. Tell me what the hell happened and who in the hell shot her!"

"It won't change the outcome." Ryan was tired of hearing the same thing from Eyal that he heard from Joan. He knew it wouldn't change things, but he needed to know what happened to Annie while he was living in total ignorance in D.C.

Eyal thought of the letter Annie had given him to mail on the last day of their mission. He never destroyed it. It was safely tucked away at his home. Perhaps it would be some consolation to the poor man.

"It took this long to get some of the truth out of her and if I didn't run into her by chance, who knows how many more months or years would pass before I learned about the baby. Why didn't you tell me when I was in Israel? I was in your home, you took me to see her, and you didn't think of telling me then?"

Eyal tried to persuade Annie to tell Ryan what happened, but she stubbornly refused. "I don't pretend to know what she's thinking, but I think she didn't want you to feel sorry for her and she definitely didn't want you to experience the loss and mourning, she figured ignorance would be bliss for you."

Ryan rubbed his stubble. He wouldn't say he was living in bliss while Annie suffered the loss of their child. He enjoyed himself after he and Annie parted ways, but he wasn't ever as happy or in love with the women he met as he was with Annie. He felt she knew him and understood his work and what made him tick, but she never let him understand her.

"Tell me what happened, please."

"You really want to know? It was horrific. There are no words to describe it. Delivering a child so early, losing that child, holding her during her last breaths, dealing with the aftermath. It's the worst suffering and pain I've witnessed and I've seen my share. Delivering the baby prematurely nearly killed her. She lost a lot of blood. She was able to recover physically, but she's far from healed. She was and is devastated and guilt ridden. You have to know that much about her, she's a glutton for punishment and she's been punishing herself ever since. She didn't tell you to spare you the pain and sorrow. I'm not saying that I agree with her choices, but Annie had her reasons."

If his day wasn't already shitty, Ryan felt worse after listening to Eyal describe what Annie went through.

"I need to talk to her. How can I get in touch with her?"

"She'd kill me if I told you how to find her, besides if you were tasked with bringing her in for the CIA, I'm not divulging her location."

"I didn't do it, so you can trust me."

"You're not in a position to ask for favors."

"I need to get back to my op. I'll let her know you want to talk and let her take it from there." Eyal hung up leaving Ryan with no way to get in touch with Annie.

/

"Uh sir, may I sit?" asked Fitz.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry about the baby. I didn't know Annie was pregnant. Honestly looking back, I was in a daze after she broke me out, but I didn't notice anything unusual. She was her same determined self during our time together. She was positive and lead the way. In the car ride earlier she was very obviously upset. She was a different woman than the one I knew. I can't imagine going through a loss like that, I look at my kids and as much hardship as I've been through in combat and in captivity, I don't think any of it was as challenging as it would be if I had to watch one of my kids suffer and die. I know you're angry at her, but you might want to cut her some slack. I'm sorry if that's overstepping," said Fitz before standing up and walking away.

/

Ryan went back to the surveillance feeds he had been watching. He rewound the recording back to an earlier spot. The spot where he teased Annie about holding on to the necklace he gave her and the locket. He studied her voice and her reactions. Her reasons for risking herself were over that lock of hair and maybe the necklace he gave her. She was genuinely upset over not knowing where her locket was. He remembered feeling bad at the time, bad for taking his cockiness too far. When he revealed that he had what she was looking for, her reaction said it all. What was inside the locket obviously meant a great deal to her. Ryan allowed himself to see how much the child meant to Annie. He tried to avoid thinking about the baby, he didn't want to picture what she looked like or how old she would be, but it was finally hitting him. And it was classic Annie to keep the secret after the baby died. She was always willing to trade what she thought was better for everyone else at her own expense.

Ryan's knuckles began to throb from where he hit the wall repeatedly. She expected him to hate her after finding out, but as angry as he was he couldn't hate her. When he met her he fell for her, he had wanted to marry her, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. He took those vows seriously the first time and he was ready to take them again with Annie, but then the botched mission where his men were captured happened. He behaved badly during those stressful days when Annie and Jim came back without Fitz and Dex. He did tell Joan about her collapse and that took her out of the field, but now he had come to believe was related to her pregnancy. Then he accused her of sleeping with Eyal. He wasn't necessarily the innocent party in all of this. He was also responsible because things don't happen in isolation. There was a chain reaction of events that lead them to where they were. Him on a plane back to D.C. and her across the ocean, heading to Israel.

/

Ryan's plane landed in D.C. He was headed towards his SUV.

"You okay?" asked Jim.

"Yeah," replied Ryan.

"Do you want to grab a drink?"

"Nah, I'm just going to go home."

Jim nodded and climbed into his pick-up.

Once home, Ryan poured himself a shot of Patron, one of Annie's favorites. He couldn't stop thinking about her. She was in his head, the visual of her doubled over crying as she finally told him the truth stayed with him the rest of the plane ride home. He walked around the house feeling like things weren't going to be the same again.

/

The next day an overnight package arrived at McQuaid Securities for Ryan. He opened it up and inside he saw a letter addressed to him with Annie's handwriting. On the envelope was a post-it note.

Thought it was time you saw this letter. . . E

Ryan had some quiet time to process and he vacillated between anger and sadness. He wanted to see her, to talk to her, but at the same time confronting the truth made him feel shitty. He started to feel responsible for the death of their child the more he thought about it. A child he had no idea existed until recently.

Ryan wasn't sure he wanted to read the letter. It was thick, there were what he believed pictures inside the envelope. He sat at his desk looking out the window before finally taking out his letter opener.

/

"Ryan McQuaid is here to see you," said Joan's assistant.

Finally thought Joan. Ryan had not returned her call.

"Okay, show him in," said Joan.

"What do I owe this visit to?" asked Joan.

"Where exactly does Annie stand with Langley?"

"You want to talk about her extraction now? You had your chance and you blew it."

"Joan, please, I want to understand every angle."

Joan looked at Ryan intently. He had a determined look in his eyes. He changed his mind and wanted to bring her home.

"Well, right now she's a double for us, I have a trail that shows it was our plan all along to have her work with Mossad to bring back your men and that she continued to work with Kidon to bridge the lack of intel and assets we were experiencing in that region. I have her developing assets while working in Israel. But I've kept her identity and her work under wraps. The intel she brought in most recently is causing a big hullabaloo and we are working on verifying it."

"Whatever is on those files, she had nothing to do with other than passing along the intel."

"The incoming administration is unpredictable and all of us may not have jobs here soon. I don't need to remind you that I was hired by the someone appointed under the current administration. We're all uncertain about our jobs here, so I'm trying to do as much as I can to help her while I still have power to do so. I'm trying to give her distance to insure that she won't be named as the source of the intel."

"The sources are dead," said Ryan.

"But she had a connection with both sources, one of which dates back a long time to her time as an operative for us," said Joan.

"You're the only one here who knows about this operation?"

"You, me and a tech."

"What will bringing her in involve?"

"If I don't reveal that she's working for us, if she returns, she'll be treated as a foreign operative, interrogated and debriefed at a black site. We'll need to ascertain what operations she compromised and why she's returned. She may be charged with treason or given a slap on the wrist. Either way her career is over."

"If I open up the files and reveal that she was double, that exposes her at Mossad, but then she can come home a hero. She'll still have her standing at Langley unless I can't distance her from this crazy intel."

"Either direction we go, all of this becomes much more difficult once the new administration takes over."

"What are you thinking?"

"I need to see her, I am going to Israel to track her down."

"And you want to know if you can bring her home."

"I'm not sure I can convince her to come back, but if I can, I don't want her stuck in some hell hole indefinitely."

"I'll make sure that doesn't happen if you can bring her home."

Ryan nodded and left.


	24. Chapter 24

Note: I'm in the home stretch. Going to get this done. Happy Valentine's Day with a love story. . .thank you for reviewing and keep letting me know what you think!

 **Chapter 24**

/

It took a couple of days and nights of sailing, but Annie finally reached a port in Haifa, Israel. It felt good to be home safe. Eyal was there to greet her and helped her off the yacht. He took her bags without saying a word. She looked at him and said, "Thank you again for helping me."

"You're going to need a recording of that because it's like only the 10th time," said Eyal.

Annie laughed, slightly losing her balance.

"So let's head over to the clinic huh? Get you checked out?"

"No, I'm fine. I just need to get my bearings after being at sea."

Eyal rolled his eyes. She never wanted to appear weak and still felt like she had something to prove, even with him. She saved his life in the UAE and took a bullet that was meant for him. The bullet that caused her to go into labor. Eyal would always feel responsible for her.

"Wait, here, take this," said Annie handing Eyal an envelope with the sim card from Kravec's phone and a memory card with info downloaded from Kozlov's devices.

"Joan has everything that is there as well."

"Thanks. We'll get to work on it."

"As soon as I get a bath in and take care of one thing, I'll be in the office to go over it with you."

"No, you get to take a day or two off."

"I just had that while on the yacht. I'm fine. I need to work."

"You do?"

Annie nodded.

"You want to tell me what happened with Ryan?"

Annie took a deep breath and exhaled. Some tears returned, she thought she had none left. She spent the last couple of nights crying. She shook her head.

"Coming to dinner on Friday?"

Annie nodded.

"See you at the office," said Annie before getting into the car.

/

Ryan entered Arthur's office after returning from his meeting with Joan.

"I'm taking a few days off, you'll hold down the fort?" Ryan asked Arthur.

"A little R & R could be just what you need."

"I'm heading to Israel to see if I can bring Annie home, I wouldn't call it R & R, but I could be wrong."

"Oh, what could possibly go wrong there? Ryan you are a public figure, your latest romantic escapades have been all over the tabloids. You were just questioned by Interpol regarding two dead Russians and the mystery woman last seen with one of them. How are you going to land in Israel without Mossad knowing?"

"I'm flying commercial under an alias. I'll be going straight to Eyal Lavin's home so Mossad will know one way or another."

"I can see you're a man with a plan, but how about sending someone else? Jim, can go. He is fully capable and not on anyone's radar."

"I need to see her, this may be my last opportunity if I can't convince her to return. I'm trying to think like her and with all the lists she's on, I don't know. . ."

"You think she'll go into hiding?"

Ryan nodded. "I really don't know." Arthur conceded that Ryan had his mind made up and there was no convincing him.

"Talk to Joan, see what you can do to help with Annie's cover and the logistics of her return."

"I hope you can bring her back."

"Thanks Arthur."

/

Ryan packed lightly for his trip. He kept the necklace he had given Annie. The one she tossed back to him the last time he spoke to her. He tucked it away in his bag. He wanted to give it back to her. So much had happened since he first heard her voice from across the club back in Marseille. He remembered her disdain at seeing him in her dressing room, he flirted shamelessly enjoying every moment of teasing her and seeing her annoyed with him. He knew then that he couldn't let her go again without spending time with her, but she was so resistant. Later he learned why.

After he read the letter she wrote to him, he knew he had to see her one more time, he owed himself and her that much. Despite all that happened, he felt she was owed a chance at a regular life back in her own country. She let what happened to their child take away her choices and she opted to remain in Israel to avoid him and that didn't sit well with him. He understood now that it was too painful and gut wrenching for her to see him, to be reminded of what she loss. He came to see that she was plagued with guilt and like Eyal said, she was always a glutton for punishment. As angry as he felt about her choices, he understood her actions. He still had blanks he hoped she would fill in, but mostly he wanted to bring her back to the States so that she could be home and in her own country.

Ryan had done a lot reading and research on pregnancy, premature labor and birth. He was in a way torturing himself. He also read about facing grief after the loss of a baby and the statistics on how it affected couples and families were daunting. In a way, it was good that they weren't a couple, perhaps they wouldn't have lasted through the tragedy if they were together. He was done with assigning blame although he would gladly use the man who shot her as a punching bag, everyone was right, it wouldn't bring back their baby.

/

Once on the plane, Ryan took the letter Annie wrote out of his breast pocket and read it for the hundredth time.

Dear Ryan,

I'm not sure where to begin, it will take me awhile to make my way back to a place where I can see you. I'm expecting hours of sequestered debriefs, so I wanted you to be prepared and I wanted you to hear the news from me. When we last saw each other we were both so angry and hurt, I know we have hurdles ahead of us, but I hope we can find our way again. I'm sorry I had to keep things from you and I hope you'll understand why I did what I did.

If you looked at the pictures first you already know and I'm sure you didn't see this coming. And if you didn't look at the pictures first, now you have. Now you know, you are going to be a father. We never really talked about having a family, so I'll let that sink in for a bit longer. . .

The answers to some questions you might be asking:

~Yes, I really am pregnant. As I write this, I'm 19 weeks and 5 days along. Nearly halfway there

~Yes, it is your child (NOT Eyal's! I couldn't help myself)

~Yes, I am keeping the baby (it took time to get used to the idea and I was terrified, but time passed and as the baby developed I felt more and more connected, I can't imagine this not being real anymore)

~No, I didn't know when I left. And I don't know that I would have done things differently had I known.

~Yes, I thought about not keeping the baby at first. I want to be honest, it was on the table.

~Yes, I'm healthy and the baby is healthy.

Life is funny sometimes isn't it? When I left you and D.C. I thought I had everything under control, but I didn't. I realized we never really have any control. And I hope this letter gives you the time to think about us and what you want and how involved if at all you want to be with raising this child.

It's a girl by the way, I just found out at the most recent ultrasound and I wish you were there with me. I included a picture from the ultrasound.

I'm not sure how long my debriefs will last, but I'll see you as soon as I can so we can talk about us and the future. I don't expect we'll have easy conversations or that everything will be water under the bridge, but I know I still love you. I love you and I'm ready now, so ready to start a new chapter in my life. I've had a lot of time to think on this mission about my life, my career, the last year we spent together and I'm finally ready.

This baby and you have grounded me in a way that I haven't been in a very long time. I can finally see a purpose for me that's beyond being an operative in the field. It's funny that this came to me during a mission in the field, but all I can think about is home and that's where you are. I hope we can get to a place where we can build a life together again with our little girl and maybe more kids down the line.

With Hope and Love,

Annie

/

Ryan looked at the pictures. Eyal had probably taken them. In one she looked radiant, so happy with her hand on her bare belly. God how he wished he saw her in that state. Then he looked at the ultrasound again before folding it all up in the letter and tucking the letter back into the envelope. He opened up his jacket pocket and returned the letter to it. His top priority once he saw her was to convince her to return to D.C. and to Langley for debriefs before the new administration took over. That was the business end of his trip, but on a personal level, he wanted to ask if she still meant what she wrote in that letter.

Could she find a way to go back to that point where she felt grounded and eager to start a life outside of being an operative? If so he hoped he could convince her to give them another chance. That's all he wanted when he saw her at the hospital after her mission and that's all he wanted when he saw her again in Marseille. Despite learning that she kept her pregnancy and loss from him, he kept going back to his feelings for her. He loved her in spite of everything.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Note: This one is for you Spidergirl! ; ) God is good and He's going to heal Annie & Ryan in this fanfic at least. Not my characters. . . but they sure do inspire.

Ryan watched the sun beginning to set over Jerusalem as he waited in his car. He watched while rubbing his stubble as it created a beautiful orange hue over the horizon. The entire sky it appeared saturated with color as the sun faded away, it like everything he encountered over the last couple of days reminded him of her. He never took a sunset for granted if he had the time to spare. Every day was truly an adventure for Ryan McQuaid and his numerous near misses with death, capture and serious injury kept him grounded and humble. He was grateful each day he lived.

As the day ended, he actually prayed to God as he watched the sun go down. He asked for wisdom, he asked for the right words to say, he asked that she have an open heart, and he asked for forgiveness for his part in the tragedies of her life. He was angry in Spain and all the way home, but miraculously the anger dissipated when he read her letter and heard the hopeful and eager voice in it. He read it so many times he had it memorized. The letter made him laugh and cry. He pictured her pregnant self writing it with a smile on her face and it made him happy to visualize her.

There was some hesitation in the letter, but underneath it, she knew while writing it that he would be happy to learn the news. She knew that he would absolutely want to be involved with her and the baby. And she would have been right. As shocked as he would have been, he would have seen her belly and he would have held her tight when she returned. But she didn't return from the mission. That hope and grounding that the baby girl gave her disappeared when their child died prematurely. After reading the letter, he knew what he needed to do. The Annie who wrote it months ago spoke to him. He wanted her to hear that version of herself once more.

The anger and resentment he felt turned into a need to make things right for her and with her even if she didn't want his help, he had to try for his own sake. Ryan was the kind of man who looked forward, getting over his wife's death was a long process, but once he healed, he vowed to never become that person again. Annie was that person now and his experiences showed him that he needed to help her come out of it. Even if she chose to go on without him, he needed to get a message through to her.

For his own sake, he also needed closure that only a face-to-face with her could give him. No matter the end result, he had to say his peace. He prayed to God to open her heart to hear him out instead of doing what she had been doing, running and shielding herself from him, from her old life and most importantly from the life she could have. As Ryan whispered, "Amen," he saw a car pull up.

Ryan opened his car door and walked across the street to Eyal's home.

"Are we making this a habit McQuaid?" asked Eyal as he got out of his car.

"What?"

"Showing up at my home unannounced."

Ryan took off his sunglasses and offered his hand to Eyal.

Eyal shook Ryan's hand and looked around. Without any prompting he said, "If she hasn't gotten in touch with you, I can't do anything about it."

"I know you want to help me and her. You wouldn't have sent me the letter if you didn't."

Out of respect for Annie, Eyal told himself not to get involved in Annie's personal life, but she had become family to him. She was the sister he lost and he would have wanted his sister to find love and happiness in this crazy world.

"You head a security firm, can't you locate her yourself?"

"I've tried, I don't know what alias she's using and it's not easy to break into Israel's CCTVs. Come on, where can I find her?"

"She'd kill me if I revealed the location of her safehouse."

"I'll help you with whatever you need, you have my support for any future mission as long as it aligns with American interests."

"What are American interests these days? Seems like there's a lot of uncertainty regarding U.S. policy these days. I'm not sure we're going to be on the same page. I don't trust your new leadership."

"Listen, I'm apolitical. I get handed an order or a contract and I do my part to keep my country safe and I do it while flying under the radar. You know I do it well."

Eyal thought about it for a second. "Well, that might just come in handy McQuaid."

Still Eyal wasn't pleased with the situation. He didn't want to lose his friend, but at the same time, he knew she needed something to jolt her out of her stubbornness.

"She comes to Shabbat every week when she's in town."

Ryan nodded.

"That's tomorrow in case you don't know."

"I know, sundown, I'll be here," Ryan felt he just scored a small victory.

/

Annie was happy to be back in Israel and looked forward to a long hot bath. She went straight to the doggy hotel to pick up her furry companion. It was yet another suggestion that came out of therapy. She needed something to care for and company to help her heal. Her whined and cried when he saw her at the gate, he jumped all over her giving her kisses and Annie laughed out loud for the first time in days.

"Good boy! I missed you so much!" said Annie to her dog.

She looked up and spoke to the clerk. "I'm so sorry my trip was extended, thank you so much for taking such good care of Noah."

"Oh, it's our pleasure, he's a doll, a big lap dog you have there," said the clerk.

Annie paid for the extra days her dog was in the kennel and got back into the car to head home.

After taking a restorative walk on the beach with Noah, Annie took a long and much deserved bath. She felt strangely at peace as she soaked in the tub. That saying, the ' _truth will set you free_ ' came to mind. Of course she still felt crappy over what happened. She never thought for a million years that she would run into Ryan on her last mission and she never planned to tell him about the baby, but it happened. She knew she hurt him deeply, but now she saw that it was for the best. He would finally give up on her and she no longer felt a weight bearing down on her chest.

Life would go on, she'd go to bed and wake up in the morning and head to work and repeat. Other assignments would come. Noah would need his walks and runs. Shabbat would come every Friday. There was life left to live thought Annie. One day at a time like her therapist told her.

/

Ryan arrived thirty minutes before sundown. He wanted to be there early. He was already inside having a drink with Eyal when Annie arrived.

He heard her come in and listened as she greeted and kissed to Eyal's wife Ranit , Avi and Eyal's mother.

"What's this? You don't need to bring so much," said Ranit taking the cake from Annie and bag of fruit.

"I heard someone has a birthday coming up so I baked a cake."

It was Eyal's mother's birthday in a couple of days.

"You baked a cake?" asked Ranit in disbelief.

"Remember that class I told you I was thinking about taking? I made it back in time for the first session." Part of her therapy included doing things she wanted to do but never made time for. She chose baking because it reminded her of Danielle and it was useful, she loved sweets.

"That's great, you needed some hobbies my dear if you don't have a man, you have to keep busy somehow," jabbed Eyal's mother.

Annie laughed. "I don't need a man Mrs. Lavin."

"You need to eat two slices later my girl, you're too skinny and what is that?" asked Eyal's mother pointing to the fading bruises on Annie's neck. She didn't hide them well enough with the loose scarf.

"Come in, let me look you over," said Eyal's wife who was a doctor. They met in medical school and while Eyal quit, she went on to become a family practice doctor. "Eyally said you were injured on your trip, let's have a look at those bruises," said Ranit.

"I saw my acupuncturist and it's getting better, don't worry about me," said Annie.

"We worry about you, we can't help it Annie. Eyal said you saw Ryan? Are you okay?"

Annie looked at Ranit who had become a friend and confidante. "I told him and he was, I don't know… The look on his face, he was disgusted with me, but I pray he'll be okay. I know I shifted some burden to him and I feel bad about that, but I feel lighter these days. I guess living with that secret was taking a toll."

"Now what can I do to help with dinner?"

"Nothing, nothing, Ee-ma and I have it all under control, why don't you go into the living room and see Eyal, he's there with a friend," said Ranit with a gentle smile.

"Oh not again, it's not some cousin you're trying to set me up with again is it?"

Ranit laughed and shook her head.

"Nothing like that."

Ryan was in the living room where he heard everything.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Note: I spent a bit of time toying with how Ryan and Annie's reunion would unfold. I still err on the side of their relationship being complex as Annie is a multi-layered character. . . Let me know what you think and thanks for reading.

Annie slowly walked further into Eyal and Ranit's home. She wondered what excuse she could conjure up to leave early if they were going to try to set her up again. She could allow jetlag to suddenly hit her or say she had to get home to Noah. Oh well, she'd see how the evening played out. When she crossed the threshold into the large and airy living room she saw him standing at the other end of the room right away. Her heart sped up and her cheeks felt warm.

"Hello Annie," said Ryan with a tentative smile as he looked straight into her eyes. He immediately noticed that around her neck was that locket that was in her hotel safe in Marseille, her hand went straight to it as she nervously rubbed the heart shaped locket with her fingers.

"Oh you're a modern day Judas!" she said looking to Eyal who was sitting on the sofa closest to her with his arms spread across the seat backs.

Eyal's hands went up. "He wanted to know where you live and that I didn't tell him that. That's up to you, but here in Israel, we invite everyone to eat and drink."

Eyal stood up not sure if he should leave them alone or not. Instead he offered to get Annie a drink. "Can I get you something to drink? Ryan's trying some arak. Maybe you want some too."

Annie shook her head and continued to stare at Ryan in disbelief. She was absolutely speechless and caught off guard. Nothing came to mind other than pure amazement that he even wanted to see her again. He was so angry when they last saw each other. She swallowed, her throat dry and somehow paralyzed. She cleared her throat and said, "Um, water, I'll take some water please."

Eyal nodded, "I'll go get you a glass."

It took a few moments for Annie to find her voice. When she did all she managed was to ask, "What are you doing here?"

"Well your plan, it didn't work," he said closing some of the physical distance between them.

Annie gave him a puzzled look. He was going to have to do most of the talking here, he sensed that and continued on.

"The plan where I hate you and forget about you and everything that we shared. Don't get me wrong, I was upset and I had every right to be, but what happened doesn't nullify _everything we have shared_. I needed time to process everything and you know what? I am as much to blame as anyone if one is to assign blame, but that's not productive and I came for a couple of reasons but first, I just want to say, _I'm sorry_. I'm so sorry about the baby, I'm sorry you went through that alone, I'm sorry you thought you couldn't tell me after _our_ baby died. I so wish I was there to see her, to hold her, to kiss her and. . ."

As he spoke he watched her rub the locket between her fingers. His voice grew shaky when he saw her eyes fill with tears. He could see she was uncomfortable, but he continued.

"But Annie, mostly I want you to know I forgive you for all of that, I understand you more than you give me credit for and I know in that enigmatic head of yours, you thought you were doing me a favor, but you weren't."

Annie turned away before the tears dropped down her cheeks. She thought she was dried out, she had cried so much over the baby and Ryan. But this time, it was as if his words and her tears were washing her clean, absolving her of her deception, her self-sufficency and need to be in control. She didn't expect forgiveness, she didn't even dare to hope for it. He closed the remaining distance between them and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He could feel her body moving as she sobbed and he cried too.

The sound of Eyal clearing his throat broke their embrace. Annie sniffled and wiped away her tears.

"Ee-ma says dinner is ready and if I don't get our guests to the table, I won't hear the end of it."

Annie nodded as Ryan handed her a handkerchief from his pants pocket.

She let out a small laugh, "You're still carrying one of these around?"

He nodded with a smile. "Never know when it might come in handy."

Oh how she missed him thought Annie.

"Sounds like dinner is ready and I don't want to disappoint Mrs. Lavin, plus I can't wait to taste this cake I heard you made," said Ryan with a wink as he walked out of the living room.

Annie followed with her host. Eyal whispered to her, "You all right?"

She nodded and for the first time in months he believed her.

/

Dinner happened at a happy and leisurely pace. Everyone traded stories about their weeks and laughed. Annie told everyone about the cakes she made in class and how the one she was serving was her favorite though butter cream frosting is hard to keep solid in the climate.

To Ryan's observations, she appeared at ease and happy, Eyal's family was fun to be around. They joked and jabbed at each other and he could see that Avi was developing a similar dry sense of humor like his dad's. It seemed a million years ago that he and Annie had been in such a relaxed social environment. What happened to that part of their lives? How did things go so terribly wrong.

"Abba, tell the story about how you met Annie!" said Avi excitedly as he reached for his piece of cake.

Eyal laughed. "You know that story already,"

Avi pleaded with his hands in a prayer clasp as children are apt to do.

"Fine fine fine," relented Eyal.

"When I heard the door open to the apartment where I was hiding out in Zurich, I was on guard right away. I wasn't expecting anyone, but I was ready and in position with my piano wire."

"The one you keep hidden in your belt," said Avi finishing up.

Annie puts her hand over her eyes laughing. "You told him this story?"

"We're not like the CIA, we're allowed to share mission details," winked Eyal to Ranit who had a look of disapproval on her face.

"Keep going, I want to hear this," said Ranit.

"In walks Annie with the briefcase that we were supposed to exchange at the airport and I had the advantage so I surprised her. I wrapped the wire around her neck tightening it with all my strength," said Eyal.

"But she was much stronger than she looked," finished Avi.

"Yes, she was saying something, I trusted my gut and let go of her, she said she was my contact," said Eyal.

"And you believed her, but Annie didn't trust you," said Avi.

"I could see she was a jobnik, fresh meat as you Americans say," said Eyal. "Too naïve and green to pull a double cross," said Eyal needling Annie.

"But she surprised you when she understood German and Hebrew, and then you realized you underestimated her," said Annie throwing her napkin at Eyal.

"Get to the part where you had to crash the wedding," said Avi.

"Your father could not charm the bride off her seat so that we could retrieve the briefcase so I had to flirt with the groom to piss off the bride!"

"Oh my, that must have gone over well," said Ranit.

"It worked like a charm, she got that bride nice and jealous and she got up with that boot on her leg and chewed the poor man out!"

"Then you were able to get the briefcase, but Annie thought you tricked her," said Avi.

"Ah, but your father is not a dishonorable man and . . ."

"Everything turned out well in the end."

"What about the stitches, gunshots and explosions and . . ."

"Let's skip the violent version, your grandmother's listening," said Eyal.

Ryan loved watching her so at ease and hearing about a side to her he never knew.

"The cake is delicious," said Ranit.

"Thank you for a delicious dinner, let me help with the dishes before I go," said Annie rising.

"My least favorite chore, so by all means," said Eyal. Ranit jabbed Eyal for complaining about housework.

Ryan rose along with Annie and started bringing dishes to the sink with everyone.

He smiled as he and Annie worked on loading the dishwasher. It felt right to him that they were there together. Annie had butterflies in her stomach as she brushed up against him since they were standing side to side.

"Do you think I could go home with you?" asked Ryan.

Annie looked at him, he was always ballsy.

"And accomplish what Ryan? A 6000 mile booty call?" said Annie shaking her head and laughing at the absurdity.

"I traveled a long way and I have more to say, it's not just about us," whispered Ryan. Annie didn't quite understand what he was getting at, but Ryan couldn't speak more about it in Eyal's home.

"I don't think we can go back, you can't possibly want to," said Annie, "too much has happened,"

"There you go again, will you stop telling me what I want? I am not interested in going back, just forward."

Annie nodded, conceding, he deserved to have his say.

"Let's talk after we get out of here okay?" said Ryan.

They finished up the dishes and said their good-byes to the Lavins in the foyer.

"Annie, if there's a chance you can find happiness again with Ryan, don't give up, look at us, the second time around is better, we are both more mature and accepting of each other's flaws," said Ranit.

Annie hugged her tightly, "Thank you for everything."

"You're family now. You've been the reason he's come back in one piece and I love you for that, we all do," said Ranit looking at Eyal, Avi and Ee-ma who were saying good-bye to Ryan.

/

"Where are you staying?" asked Annie.

"I don't want to go to my hotel, you promised that we'd talk," said Ryan.

"You have a car here?" asked Annie.

Ryan nodded.

"I'll follow you to your hotel, you can check out and get your stuff and then follow me home," said Annie.

"Oh," smiled Ryan. "So I'm staying with you?"

"I love about an hour away, more with traffic, so it's best that you come with me. I have an extra bedroom so don't get excited," said Annie.

"Where are we going?"

"Tel Aviv," said Annie.

"Of course, the ocean, I should have known you'd settle near the water," said Ryan.

"I'll wait here," said Annie after Ryan parked and went to her car.

He hesitated. "Why don't you come up with me?"

"I'll be here, don't worry," said Annie anticipating his thoughts.

About ten minutes later he came down. He was relieved that she was still here. It was going to take time for him to trust her again. Seeing that she was waiting for him was a good start.

"Why don't I return my rental? Are you good with being my driver?" asked Ryan.

Annie nodded. "I'm a much better driver than you anyway," said Annie with a smile.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

As Annie drove Ryan figured her car was a secure place to begin talking.

"I'm not just here on account of personal reasons," said Ryan.

"Let me guess, Joan sent you," replied Annie, her brows furrowing.

"I wanted to come to make up for letting my emotions get in the way in Spain. She wanted me to bring you in, but you know how that went down and I wasn't thinking straight, I should have. . .but I don't want to go down that road of should haves. . ."

"It's tough not to, I battle it almost daily," said Annie.

Ryan gave her a sympathetic look. "I don't want you to battle alone anymore."

"I'm alone, but not lonely. I have a long road ahead, but first the first time in months, I feel hopeful."

"Annie, that's great, will you reconsider returning to D.C.? Joan wants you to come back to Langley, there's a lot of serious shit going on and she can't offer you a lifeline indefinitely, she wants you to get out now while she can still help you."

"I told her already I don't need her help to return, I'm just fine where I am and will continue to work for Mossad. They've treated me well and I enjoy being in the field as you know," said Annie.

"Take me and us out of the equation, don't you want to be home, your home?"

"I didn't know where home was for a long long time, I thought I found it and then I lost it again, but now this is it, Israel is home for me now. I can't leave."

"Come on Annie, you can drop the Mossad loyalty. I know you're passing intel to Langley, what's Mossad going to do when they find out?"

"Are you threatening something?" asked Annie angrily. Is this how he thinks he can get her to go back to D.C. with him?

"Not at all, I'm just saying things are chaotic back home, people are becoming so hampered by politics and tunnel vision. Some of the intel you passed on makes the new administration look very bad and they will want someone to take the fall for it, take my word for it," said Ryan.

"What does that have to do with me? I'm only the messenger and I don't even know what was on those files, I passed them on, that's all."

"You're speaking logically and that's your first mistake. Are you really willing to risk being labeled a double agent?"

"Eyal knows everything," said Annie.

Ryan looked puzzled. He didn't account for that. "Eyal knows you're a mole?"

"I'm not a mole! I'm doing nothing to jeopardize Israeli intelligence. I wasn't going to betray him after everything he did for me, he knows I've been sharing intel with Joan and he said as long as I didn't compromise Mossad missions, that they don't care. They're very pragmatic which I appreciate," Annie fired off.

"Oh," said Ryan.

"Ryan, I know what going back means, like I told you in France, I'm not interested in sitting in hours of interrogation to determine my loyalties. I have never betrayed our country and I have never betrayed Israel. I'm doing good for both sides and I'll keep doing it from here."

He could see she dug her heels in.

"If you don't come back now, it won't be possible for a long time," said Ryan.

"I know. When I made the decision to stay, it was _permanent_." That last word rang in his head. He didn't like hearing it. It was a possibility that she would never return to the States.

And that brought Ryan to the letter.

"But that wasn't your original plan, you were going to come home to me, but then. . ." said Ryan.

"I don't know where you got that idea from."

"You can cut the bullshit Annie, can we have an honest conversation? I got that idea from you," said Ryan pulling out the letter from his pocket.

Annie nearly lost control of her car as she took her eyes off the road. Horns blared and another driver cursed at her in Hebrew. Annie pulled over to the shoulder.

"Oh my God, that bastard! He told me he destroyed that letter," said Annie.

"I'm glad he didn't and I'm glad he sent it to me, _this letter reveals the real you_ , it's the most genuine glimpse I've gotten into you for a long time, you were happy, I could feel it in the words and tone, there was hope in this letter, it was full of love and anticipation, we can still have that. If you won't come home for Joan, for the CIA, then come home for me and for the child we had, we owe it to her life to make a go of ours."

Annie shook her head as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"You've made all these scenarios in your head and made all the decisions independently since returning from Syria. Don't shut me out Annie, we're in this together. Do you remember saying that to me? Seems like a thousand years ago, but there was a time when _we were in it together_ and I admit my part in things going sideways, but I want to right that."

"I can't, she's gone and I can't go back to D.C.," said Annie as she looked into the side view mirror and eased her car back into the traffic.

"Annie Walker I saw you with Eyal and Avi and their family, I saw how you watched them and interacted with them. Don't you think you can have that for yourself? Don't you think we can have that again?"

Annie didn't answer Ryan's question, she just drove and for a stretch she forgot he was sitting in the passenger seat next to her as her mind wandered to the letter she wrote to him many months ago. She was a different person now. Ryan felt her wanting to withdraw from him. It was going to be a fine dance with Annie. She pulled into her apartment building's garage and into her parking spot. Before she opened her car door, she looked over at Ryan and said, "I'm sorry Ryan, I'm the one who owes you the apology. There's not a day that goes by where I don't wonder about how things could be different. . . I've healed some, but I don't think I'll ever stop hurting or longing for her or wondering what she would be doing now or if she has your eyes or my nose." She wiped away a tear before exiting the car. He followed her out and removed his bag from the trunk and followed her to the elevators without saying anything. He wanted to give her the space to do the talking.

The ride took them to the top floor. Annie took out her keys and the jingle of them woke up her dog Noah who jumped off the couch and came barreling towards the door. Ryan watched as the dog greeted Annie excitedly. Annie spoke to the dog affectionately and promised him a walk along the beach after she fed him. "Oh, I know you missed me, I missed you too," Annie said while scratching her dog's head and letting him lick her all over.

"This is Noah, I rescued him, though truthfully he rescued me," smiled Annie as she knelt down and greeted her companion. The dog always made her feel better.

"Nice place, I love the view and see why you wouldn't want to leave," said Ryan as he looked around the penthouse apartment. There was a grand piano right in the living room. It was modern and sleek with a lot of whites and neutral colors. When they exited the elevator he noticed five doors in the hallway. Annie had a corner unit on the side of the building with only two apartments. It was quite spacious with windows along all the walls.

"The guest room has a view as well. It's right here," said Annie taking him down the hall. "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but how long do you plan on staying?"

"That was going to depend on you, how long do you want me to stay?" winked Ryan.

Annie smiled, but didn't answer him. "Make yourself at home, I need to feed the dog, he's been waiting all day, haven't you Noah?" said Annie before turning around to leave the room.

"Wait," said Ryan as he touched her hand and held it. The dog sniffed Ryan, slightly suspicious of the man in his house. He tried to squeeze his way between Annie and Ryan.

"Annie, I don't know how this is going to work, but I know I need you in my life and want you in my life. You shouldered the burden and mourned our daughter alone. What happened was absolutely NOT your fault. I should have been there with you. You wanted me to be angry and to stay angry and lay all the blame on you, but I don't. I learned a lesson when Kelly died I blamed myself for years and I can tell you it was a dark time and it's no way to live."

"Let's just let things be for the rest of your visit, can we do that?"

"No, we need to talk now that everything is out in the open, doesn't your therapist tell you that? You need to confront your feelings, we need to confront our feelings and lay it all out. Unless there's something else to hide, there isn't right?"

"I can't talk about this all night Ryan, please," said Annie as she freed herself from Ryan's grasp and tried to leave the room before the avalanche of tears ensued.

"You let one bad decision, one mistake that I made end us, you didn't believe we could get past it, but I believe we can get past this and that you can heal, the grief will lessen, it'll never really go away, but it will lessen," said Ryan forcefully. As he spoke Noah began barking ferociously at Ryan. He sensed the tension and felt the need to protect his master.

"That was totally different. I left you so that I get back to Syria without your interference, I mean of course I was angry with you back then for going to Joan, but I had to do what I did to keep you from interfering," said Annie.

"I wish you had let me in on your plan," said Ryan.

"And would you have let me go based on what you knew back then? You thought my heart was at play and that I was unfit to. . .forget it Ryan. I let go of all of that a long time ago, I don't want to open that wound and you said you weren't interested in going back." Noah stood alert besides Annie.

"You're right, I'm sorry I brought it up, I just wanted to show you that one bad decision doesn't have to lead to another."

Annie managed to nod, reminded of the time Eyal said the same thing to her. Noah nudged Annie's hand with his head.

"I'm sorry, I need to take him out," before leaving the room. "Can I go with you?" called Ryan after her. He didn't get a response so he went into the hall where he watched her by the entry.

Annie leashed Noah and hugged him all the while crying as he licked her tears. After a few seconds, she stood up and opened the door. "Make yourself at home, I need some time alone if that's okay, I"ll be back in a bit," said Annie closing the door behind her.

Ryan was tempted, but he didn't follow her out. He stood looking out the window until he saw her cross the street to the beach where Noah ran wild and free. He watched and wondered if this visit would be the last time he would see her for a long time. He snapped out of it and went into the kitchen where he proceeded to wash the dishes Annie left from baking the cake she brought to Eyal's home. He needed to do something, Ryan McQuaid was never one to be idle. Afterwards, he looked around the apartment and took in everything he saw in attempts to know this woman who had always been a mystery to him. A set of paintings caught his eye. It took him a while to register it, but it was of the bridge in Buenos Aires where he and Annie took a walk after Belenko was in custody. Seeing it put a smile on his face.

Ryan found Annie's liquor cabinet. He took out two glasses and waited for Annie to return with Noah. He had one shot and he wasn't going to lose it.


	28. Chapter 28

Note: I don't own these characters. They belong to USA/CA writers. I'm going to wrap this one up soon. Maybe another two chapters. . .let me know what you think.

Chapter 28

The waves were soothing and mesmerizing as Annie sat on the beach watching Noah run in circles and zig zags around the surf. He loved to dart in and out of the waves. She laughed watching the pure joy her dog exuded. The dog really did bring her some measure of solace in the days since she lost her baby girl. She sat there and wondered how Ryan could be so forgiving and positive. Here he was ready to move past everything she had done, but here she was still hanging on to the pain of the past and her losses. She knew part of her didn't want to let go of it because she equated it with letting go of her daughter and she wasn't ready to do that just yet.

Annie thought about how different they were when they first met and how that gap widened as events unfolded. Ryan was a glass half full type of guy and while she started out that way, over the years and circumstances she turned into a pessimist, always anticipating the worst and focusing on the negative. He said he needed her in his life, but she feared she would drag him into her darkness and grief, she wanted to insulate him from it and the only way to do that was to maintain distance.

There was more to tell Ryan, like the fact that she swam out there into the sea one night shortly after the baby died hoping to not return to shore. She wanted to die. She would have gladly traded places with her child. No one knew about the incident. But then a stray dog she had shared some food with when she encountered him on the beach rushed into the surf and swam alongside her. "Stupid dog," she remembered saying. "Go back or you'll drown," Annie shouted. But the dog persisted and stayed by her side. That's when Annie turned around and swam back to the shore. The dog followed her and she took him to a shelter the next day after she bathed him and fed him. But something kept her from leaving him there. Maybe it was his sad and longing face, but before she knew it, he became her trusty companion.

Annie stood and grabbed Noah's leash. He knew the drill and ran over to her so she could clip the leash to his collar. Together they walked back to her apartment where she rinsed him off at the outdoor showers and towel dried him before returning to her apartment where Ryan waited.

Ryan heard the key in the lock and stood up. Noah let out a growl, disappointed that the interloper was still in the home he considered his. "It's okay Noah," said Annie giving her dog a pat and scratch. Ryan waited for her to reach him at the counter before offering her the glass of scotch. Annie shook her head, "No, I'll make myself some tea. After recent events, I'm laying off the hard liquor for as long as I can," said Annie.

"I'll have some tea with you then," said Ryan as he walked over to the stove and lifted the kettle from the burner it rested on.

"Annie, I know we have a long road ahead of us, but I want to be on the road with you. Tell me what you need. I told you what I needed, I need you to be in my life, I can't go back to not knowing where you are and if you're safe or not. I can't just leave here not knowing when I'll see you again or if I'll ever see you again."

"Ryan, you seemed to have moved on just fine before we ran into each other, surely you can make your way back to that life," said Annie.

"I realized, I was doing all of that for the wrong reasons Annie. I wasn't enjoying it or trying to find someone else, it started out as a way to put McQuaid Securities in the spotlight and it was working. I kept going out with all those women because somehow it kept my mind off of you and…"

Annie interrupted him, "Get back to it, do what you need to do to keep your mind off of me, the one thing I know about you Ryan is that you'll be fine. You don't need me to drag you down."

"Would you stop saying things like that? You wouldn't drag me down and I may be fine, but I want more than that, don't you? Don't you want more than getting through the day? Don't you want to live fully and not just survive?" Noah began barking at Ryan.

"If you don't want to go back to the hotel, give this a rest. I think that's what Noah is trying to say, isn't that right boy?" said Annie. She took out two mugs and her collection of tea bags from a cabinet, but not before taking the glass of scotch Ryan had set down and drinking it in one fell swoop. Ryan could see he was getting under her skin.

Pushing her on the subject wasn't going to work, so Ryan conceded. They sat out on Annie's balcony in silence, enjoying the sound of the waves and the white surf. Every so often he glanced over at her and saw that she was rubbing the locket around her neck. There was no way he could ever really understand what she went through. Annie felt sleepy so she stood up and collected her mug, Noah who was at her feet, stood up with her. "I'm going to shower and turn in."

Ryan stood up and put his hand on her upper arm. He kissed her tenderly on the cheek and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Sleep well."

Annie retreated to her bedroom, her heart racing and her face warm. She wasn't sure if it was the scotch or Ryan or both. Ryan remained outside leaning on the railing wondering what happens tomorrow?

Annie turned on her shower and undressed. She removed the locket from her neck and placed it next to the sink. The sound of the bathroom fan and water masked the sound of the bedroom door opening, but she did hear Noah barking before he stopped. Ryan located the doggy treats and made friends with Noah in the bedroom before entering the Master Bathroom. Annie was in the middle of shampooing her hair when suddenly startled at a presence opening the glass door Annie gasped.

"If this is the last night we're together, I want to make it last," said Ryan before bringing her body closer to his. Annie was caught off guard, but for the first time in a long time she wasn't thinking with her head, she listened to her body and her heart. She put her hands on his face and smiled as he leaned in and kissed her. He ran his fingertips along the fading bruises along her neck and collarbone, reminded of the dangers her job brought. She knew him and how as much bravado as he exuded, he did worry for her. "I'm going to be okay," said Annie.

"I know these will heal, but what about your hidden wounds?" asked Ryan. "You don't have to be alone," he said as he kissed and caressed her body. "I'm not alone. You're always with me and so is she," said Annie as he put his hand over her heart. "Do you really mean that?"

Annie nodded, "But this won't change things, I can't leave Israel."

"Okay, we'll work around that," said Ryan as he continue to kiss her and run his hands over her body.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Noah was Annie's trusty alarm clock when she was home. His wet nose woke her up and let her know that he needed to go out to do his business. Annie tried to make as little movement and noise as possible. She didn't want to wake the man sleeping next to her, but Ryan through years out of the Navy was disciplined and quick to waken. He smiled, happy to be where he was, next to Annie. He pulled her back under the covers and kissed her neck and shoulders.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear.

Annie didn't respond in kind. She wasn't sure what to say, her feelings when it came to Ryan were so complex and for so long she convinced herself that she wasn't deserving of his affection after what happened.

"What time is it?" he asked reaching for his watch, not wanting to press her.

"A quarter to seven, go back to sleep," said Annie as she tried to get out of bed for a second time.

"No, you know me, when I'm up, I can't just loaf around unless. . . " said Ryan with a sly smile.

"I'm going to take Noah for a run," stated Annie. There was no invitation but Ryan dressed to run with her and she said nothing.

/

When they returned Ryan got on the phone and on his computer for a couple of hours taking care of work and speaking to Arthur Campbell who was running his company in his absence. It was like no time passed and no tragedy took place. It felt like the days when things were great between him and Annie and that made him feel hopeful and eager to discuss the future.

Arthur told Ryan that a number of clients wanted to see him in person and that he needed to return to D.C. as soon as possible. There were also ongoing missions that required his participation in planning and training.

"You get what needed done?"

"It's still in progress."

"We need you back here, you're the face of this entire operation Ryan," said Arthur.

"I know, I set to leave later today," said Ryan feeling pulled in two directions.

Annie turned away, conflicted about Ryan leaving. On one hand, she didn't see a future with him and on the other hand, what they had was so passionate and intense. She felt they would be forever linked, but as she looked out the window, she didn't see a viable future together. She didn't believe she deserved happiness and she knew she could not return to her country.

Ryan hung up and walked to Annie. He wrapped his arms around her and said, "In a couple of weeks, I'll be back in Cairo for a conference, I also have a trip to Warsaw in the works. Costa will send you my schedule and arrange for you to meet me if you are free."

Annie shook her head resolved to end this for good. She stepped away from Ryan.

"Last night was a good-bye not the start of something, I'm sorry, I never should have let things get that far. . . I'm confused, you said if it was the last night we spend together you wanted to make it count. Now you're making plans for us to see each other? No, not a good idea McQuaid."

"Come on Annie, can you at least give us a chance? It's not my ideal, but if it's the only way for us to be together, I'll take it until you're ready to come home."

Annie reverted to her self-preservation mode.

"What kind of life is that? Is that what you really want? A day or two every other month? How long do you think that will last?"

Ryan was frustrated, but controlled in his reaction. "No, what I want is for us to live in the same home as husband and wife, but since you're too stubborn to return to D.C. with me, I'll take what I can."

"You're impossible you know that?"

"And so are you Annie Walker!"

They stared at each other.

"Looks like we're at a standstill," said Ryan.

"Come on, get your things," said Annie grabbing her purse and keys.

"My flight doesn't leave for another four hours, let's talk this through," said Ryan.

"I want to show you something, it's on the way to the airport," said Annie.

Annie stopped off at her favorite florist and picked up some fresh hydrangeas. Then she drove them to the cemetery where her daughter was buried. Ryan looked over at the woman driving and took off his sunglasses. There were tears already streaming down her eyes as the emotions showing Ryan his daughter's gravesite took over. He took out his handkerchief and handed it to her as they got out of her car. He followed her looking around at the headstones. He stopped when she stopped and kneeled down next to her.

"I can't leave her," whispered Annie.

Ryan looked at the headstone, a pit growing in his stomach. "I used to come everyday," but now it's just a couple of times a week when I am in town.

"Leida Shketa" whispered Annie.

"Excuse me?"

"It means silent birth in Hebrew, there was no cry when she was born and Eyal and everyone around remained quiet. . . laida shketa. I knew she was pre-term, but until then I had hoped that she would survive," said Annie before breaking down in sobs.

Ryan wrapped his arms around her and let her cry. He understood that there was no way he could ever grasp her pain and loss. Her world collapsed when she lost the baby.

Finally when she had calmed down and dried her tears, she said "Everything I did was to try to prevent your world from collapsing too, I hold on to the grief because I don't want to lose my connection to her. Moving on feels like abandoning her and I don't want to let her down again," said Annie.

"Oh Annie, you'll never lose your connection to her and you didn't let her down, what happened wasn't your fault," said Ryan.

"I know it's irrational, but I can't leave her here and I don't want to drag you down with me, you deserve a happy life," said Annie.

"Stop punishing yourself Annie, I've forgiven you and you need to forgive yourself," pleaded Ryan.

Annie shook her head, "You're going to be late for your flight, let's go."

Annie drove Ryan to the airport and before he left, she handed him a box. "Open it when you get home," said Annie. He didn't feel good about leaving, he wanted more time, more of her. . .

Ryan embraced her tightly.

"When I call, pick up," said Ryan.


	30. Chapter 30

Note: Of course the adventures continue with these characters that I so wish were still on the tube. Again, these characters do not belong to me. They belong to USA/CA Writers. Please let me know what you think! I love hearing your thoughts and what you liked.

Chapter 30

Ryan was emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted after the visit, but he still spent the bulk of his flight home thinking of Annie and their baby. He replayed scenes from his visit to her at the hospital when she turned him away, then her voice when he heard her sing, then her battered body after he found her on the road outside Kozlov's apartment, and sobbing as she broke down and revealed that she had been pregnant and lost their baby. So much had happened and going to his daughter's gravesite and seeing the headstone was so emotional. She told him that she was forever broken by what happened. Ryan saw the rawness of her pain and her actions since made sense, but while sitting on that plane, he made it his mission to persist. He wasn't going to lose her again.

Ryan called Annie when he landed back in D.C. When the call came through it was the middle of the night, Annie was sleeping. It took a bit for her eyes to adjust and read the screen. She hesitated before answering groggily. On the other end, Ryan's heart beat expectantly, a bit fearful that she wouldn't pick up on the other end. When he heard her raspy voice after the last ring a big grin formed across his face.

"Oh sorry, I forgot it's the middle of the night over there."

"That's okay, you're home?"

"Yeah, in the car. . . Annie, thank you."

"For what?"

"For letting me in."

"I'm sorry for everything," said Annie.

"We're done with apologies over what happened. We've both made mistakes. I opened the box that led to you going to Eyal and Mossad," said Ryan his voice cracking a bit.

"You have no fault in her premature birth, it was. . ." said Annie before Ryan cut her off.

"Thank you for the photo album," he said softly. "They pictures are beautiful Annie."

"It was Ranit's idea," said Annie.

"She was so beautiful," Ryan managed to say.

"She had your nose," replied Annie.

Ryan looked up trying to keep the tears in his eyes from dripping out.

"Goodnight Ryan," said Annie.

When she hung up, she lay there crying silently. It was hard to say good-bye to Ryan, she would always be connected to him through their daughter, that was a fact that she couldn't change no matter how much she wanted to maintain distance from Ryan. And when Ryan mentioned _Cairo_ before they left her apartment, she wondered if it was a sign that she should stop running from happiness with him. . . .

/

Annie and Eyal met at Mossad Headquarters for a day long briefing on their new assignment and covers the day after Ryan left. Annie came clean and told Eyal that Ryan had asked to meet her in Cairo. Eyal and his family had been so supportive and such good friends that she didn't want to screw up their relationship.

"What you do with your personal life is your business as long as it doesn't interfere with your work."

"Really?"

"Really. I've always told you my philosophy is to see where the current takes you," said Eyal softly. Annie stared at him surprised. "It looks like the current you're on is meeting his."

"What about Rivka? She needs to know. "

Eyal shook his head.

"You're my direct report, she most certainly does NOT need to know. Let me worry about Rivka."

 **Two Weeks Later**

 **Cairo**

Eyal and Annie's new assignment and as coincidence would have it, was in Cairo at the Middle East Renewable Resources summit. The same even Ryan mentioned he would be attending when he hoped Annie would meet him there for a couple of days.

Ryan had long planned to attend in order to rub elbows with the elite in the industry. Annie couldn't reveal to him that she was leaving Israel to conduct surveillance in Egypt as part of Mossad operation monitoring the activities of notable government officials, businessmen and experts in conservation from various Middle Eastern countries. It wasn't a dangerous mission, just one that involved a cover and locations she needed to study and know like the back of her hand. The mission was merely for information gathering to see if Mossad could gain assets in the field.

When Ryan called her in the days since his visit, she didn't always pick up, but she did text him saying she was busy with work when she couldn't talk to him directly. She didn't want him to know she was out of the country so she always made sure to call him when she was back at her hotel suite. When she could she video chatted with him in locations where it would be impossible for him to decipher that she was no longer in Israel.

Costa pinged Annie with Ryan's schedule. She made no promises, but Ryan was hopeful that she'd show up while he was in there not knowing she had already been working in Cairo the last two weeks. The time difference made it challenging, but Ryan persisted and they were in touch.

Ryan and Arthur were at a cocktail reception the first evening of the Middle East Renewable Resources Summit along with high ranking ministry officials, businessmen and professors from Saudi Arabia, Qatar, U.A.E., Israel, Jordan, Kuwait, Turkey, Iran, Iraq, Lebanon, Yemen, and Palestine. Security was extremely tight. The event was by invitation only and most of the government officials had their own entourage of guards.

When Ryan saw none other than Eyal Levin working the room he was genuinely surprised. As soon as he laid eyes on Eyal, Ryan began to scan the room for Annie. He went over to Arthur Campbell and asked him if knew was aware of any ops Joan was working on in Egypt.

"For the last time McQuaid, she doesn't tell me what she's working on, it would be treasonous for her to do so," said Arthur who was always a good sport when approached by his boss. "

"Let me know if you spot Annie," said Ryan with a smile.

Annie never made any promises. She said she might be tied up and never said she's meet him in Cairo but when he spotted Eyal he began to feel hopeful. Maybe he was able to use his charms to convince her to make a go of it.

Ryan made a beeline over to the crowd where Eyal was having a jovial conversation and inserted himself into the group's conversation. The Jordanian Minister of Energy and Mineral Resources had met Ryan before and introduced him to the other gentlemen. Eyal was introduced as George Yakos, who worked at a solar energy panel manufacturer in Greece. Neither man revealed their prior connection. As soon as they were able to leave the group, Eyal and Ryan met at the bar.

"Scotch neat," said Ryan to the bartender.

"Make that two," said Eyal as he joined Ryan.

"So, is our mutual friend in the vicinity?" asked Ryan.

Eyal nodded. "She's here, but she's tied up at another location."

"What are you two working on?"

"You know I can't reveal that to you."

"Is she in danger?"

Eyal laughed. "Come on, you know what she does, what we do."

With that both men took a shot and then a loud boom was heard throughout the room and a slight rumble beneath there feet. Eyal put down his low ball glass and rushed to the window in the direction of what he knew was an explosion with Ryan and others not far behind. Suddenly the volume of the ballroom intensified as everyone began to talk about what was going on. Egypt was no stranger to bomb attacks recently. The buzz in the room grew the security officials tried to figure out what happened.

/

Ryan could see the panic in Eyal's eyes as he made a call despite the man's cool exterior. There was no answer. "Damn it," said Eyal under his breath as he began thinking about what to do next.

"What is it?"

Eyal revealed nothing.

Ryan looked out the window again. "That's at least three kilometers away from here. Do you know what's there?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Is she there?"

Ryan didn't need to wait for Eyal's response, he need the answer in the pit of his stomach. Eyal received a call, Ryan could see the relief wash over his face.

"Annie?" whispered Ryan with relief.

Eyal nodded and walked away from McQuaid to speak with his partner.

Meanwhile, many people were trying to leave the cocktail reception, but the Egyptian National Police were not allowing anyone to leave the premises causing a scene with the security of many countries. They were calmly explaining that until they knew the details of the situation outside, it would be better to not crowd the streets. The spokesperson was getting peppered with questions and accusations and threats of action if they continued to keep the diplomats of other countries from leaving the premises. Phones were going off in every direction. It was a chaotic scene, but less chaotic than the one Annie was in close to the site of the explosion.

/

"None of this makes sense Eyal."

"They didn't choose a time that would inflict mass casualties over here. Yeah it was an explosion, but the church was empty."

"Remember how our intel didn't quite add up?"

"Oh my God, this was never about the church, this is a diversion. Every God damn police and ambulance is heading this way," said Annie.

"It looks like they aren't allowing anyone to leave here," said Eyal as he listened to what was going on at his location. "There are over 200 dignitaries here."

"They went out of their way when they assured the attendees of their security at this event, it's the perfect place to make a statement." said Annie.

Both Mossad agents suddenly understood what was happening.

Annie grew panicked. She knew from Ryan's schedule that he was there.

"Do you see Ryan?"

"He's here."

"Get everyone out. I'm on my way," said Annie.


	31. Chapter 31

Note: Thank you for reading. Enjoy and let me know what you think! It's going to get wrapped up in another couple of chapters.

 **Chapter 31**

Annie wore a scarf over her head to cover her dark brown wig. She made her way towards Eyal and Ryan's location, the hotel where dozens of diplomats were gathered. Her heart pounded as if it was going to leave her body. She blended in perfectly among the masses of people running in every direction to get away from the blast. The noise in the streets grew with sirens approaching from all directions. The air around her was thick, the blast rang in her ears reminding her of the many other explosions she had experienced since joining the CIA.

A hundred different thoughts and emotions came to her, what was going on, what if she couldn't get to them in time, why didn't she say all the things her heart felt where Ryan was concerned, they had about a half dozen calls since he left Tel Aviv. . . She pushed thoughts of Ryan out of her headspace, she had to focus on the situation, that was the best way to help him. Annie continued making her way towards the hotel, as she did so she calculated and revisited the intel in her head. . . she knew she needed help. This wasn't a one woman job.

Annie pictured the board she and Eyal assembled in her head. She went over the intel and random chatter their Mossad team intercepted.

"What did we miss?" Annie asked herself.

All the possibilities came to mind. There could be a bomb planted at the hotel or perhaps a suicide bomber managed to get past security. Perhaps ISIS planned to storm the site and make a point by holding hostages. The latter didn't seem like their M.O. Annie's gut told her there was either a bomb on site and someone remote would detonate it or there was a suicide bomber present. Annie phoned her Mossad team and told them what she suspected. They had been reviewing the guest lists and vendors as well as security personnel and hotel employees as Eyal ordered. So far there were no abnormalities.

"Have you heard from E?"

"Negative," responded her colleague Moishe.

"Keep looking, there has to be something we can go on," said Annie.

"We were instructed to pack it up within an hour, extraction point has been set up, I've used our protocols to send you and E the location," said Moishe on the other end.

"You know he wouldn't leave you behind, give us some more time," said Annie.

"I can't make any promises," said Moishe. Check your message board for the location.

Annie hung up, feeling desperate. She was on foot and at least another mile and a half away.

Joan had a team on the ground too. She had passed some of what Mossad gathered to a cut-out of Joan's living in Cairo. She needed to get in touch with Joan directly. She did the only thing she could think of. . .

As the phone rang, her mind went to one of their phonw conversations since she brought him to their daughter's grave.

/Flashing back/Ryan after he left for home/After his first call when he landed, Ryan tried a few times over the next three days/Annie didn't answer, she was busy prepping for Cairo and travelling there/Annie is still hesitant about rekindling their relationship. . .

"Hi," Annie said.

Ryan exhaled with relief. "She picks up, finally! I was beginning to think you had second thoughts," said Ryan.

"About that. . ." said Annie who had resolved to tell Ryan that she didn't see a future for them. She told Eyal what Ryan proposed and he was supportive, but the more she thought about it, the more scared she grew. She could come up with dozens of reasons why it was a bad idea to start something again with Ryan.

"I was joking Walker," said Ryan growing concerned.

"I've been thinking the last couple of days and this isn't going to work," said Annie. She was met with silence on the other end as Ryan clenched his jaw and gritted his teeth.

Annie waited for Ryan to respond as she walked around her hotel room.

"We haven't even given it a real go yet, how about six months? Annie, give us six months and then let's have this conversation."

Frustrated by his dogged determination, she blurted out, "How can you not be angry with me?"

Ryan could see she wasn't done punishing herself. "Don't get me wrong, I was angry, I did a number on the plane when we left Spain, ask Fitz and Dex. But I thought of all the opportunities you had to tell me about the baby and each time I could understand why you didn't. I get you Walker, don't forget that."

Tears formed in her eyes.

"I wish I could turn back time," said Annie.

"Don't say that, you did what you thought was right at the time, what happened to her was the result of getting shot, it wasn't your fault," said Ryan.

There was a long pause.

"I went home after Spain and I couldn't get you off my mind. Everything brought me back to you and I remembered the core of who you are. God Annie, I get it, you're messed up and broken. You say you don't need a hero, but you want to be everyone else's hero. You like control so much and this is coming from a control freak too. It takes one to know one, but you take it to another level my love. The part that hurt me the most was that you thought you needed to protect me, to shelter me from the loss, but again, I know you. You are wired to protect those you love. That's when I realized that I needed to forgive you and that it was up to me fight for us. I have enough energy in me to do it. I'm going to make it my mission to get you to stop punishing yourself Walker."

"There are still days when I can't breathe and don't want to get out of bed, but this job keeps me going, I can't leave Ryan, what's the point if we're going to be apart?"

"We'll figure it out," said Ryan. "Trust me, believe in us," pleaded Ryan.

"Sometimes I can't wrap my head around moving on," said Annie lying down on the hotel bed. She was tired from her long day and felt tears coming on.

"We'll take one day at a time, one phone call at a time, one rendezvous at a time. Speaking of which, can you get away to meet me in Cairo or somewhere nearby?"

"I can't commit to that or this," said Annie completely unsure. Part of her wanted to be in touch with Ryan, to feel him next to her in bed, but the other part felt they were doomed.

"Can you promise that you won't be reckless with yourself?"

"What?"

"I'm afraid that you don't care if you live or die and I don't want to hear from Eyal one day that something went sideways and . . ." He was a strong man, but he didn't want to utter those words.

Knowing that he still cared for her felt so undeserved.

"I've lost or hurt everyone I've ever loved or cared for," said Annie.

"I'm still here Walker, I'm not going anywhere," said Ryan.

What he said was comforting. She wanted to accept it.

"Okay," said Annie.

"Okay?"

"Let's give this a go, six months," agreed Annie.

Ryan felt like the luckiest man on the other end.

"I'll call you tomorrow love, pick up," responded Ryan.

"If I can, good night," said Annie.

/

 **Back to the Present**

Ryan's phone rang. It was an unknown number and normally he would have let it go straight to voicemail, but this time he didn't.

"Good, I'm glad you answered," said Annie breathing heavily. Ryan walked swiftly to a quiet spot.

"Are you ok?"

"Fine."

"Where are you?"

"Making my way towards you, do you see anyone looking suspicious or perhaps wearing a suicide vest?"

Ryan scanned the room. "There are over 200 people here," said Ryan.

"I know they aren't letting anyone leave."

"That's not raising any red flags because that's the protocol for the National Police when things like this happen. They're all waiting to get clearance and this is the perfect time for someone to strike."

"Can you patch Joan in to this call?"

He listened and followed her orders all while looking around the room.

"We're all being asked to take a seat."

"Joan?"

"You're on the line, I have Annie here too."

Joan was surprised, but not at the same time. She knew both of them were in Cairo.

"Joan, what has the team you have here found?"

"I'm sending them over, they are minutes away from the scene."

"No, there's nothing at the scene, no one was at the church, not even the janitor," said Annie.

"You need to get everyone to the cocktail reception, something is happening here," said Annie.

"What do you base that on?"

"My gut Joan, please."

"All right, hold while I call point."

"Ryan, get out of there, no matter what, please."

"You're on your way?"

"Probably another half mile on foot," said Annie.

"Natives are getting restless. The Jordanians and Saudis are demanding to be released."

"Who is putting up the resistance?"

"I'll call you back Walker," said Ryan making his way towards the commotion.

Annie's legs were tired, but she kept going.

Moishe called back.

"Annie! We were monitoring the police radios and a man was found dead. He was wearing a security badge for the hotel."

"Thank you Moishe, did you call Eyal?"

"Yes, but he didn't pick up. I need both of you to get your asses to the extraction point or Rivka's going to have all our heads."

"I'll make sure he gets there," said Annie even though she had no idea what was going on just yet. It was in her very fabric to do what she could for those she cared about. Her main concern was to make sure Ryan and Eyal made it out before anything happened.


	32. Chapter 32

Note: These characters belong to CA Writers and USA. Thank you for staying with me. I appreciate that there are still people out there reading CA fanfic! Enjoy!

Ryan made his way over to the man in charge. A swath of men surrounded him.

"My boss is asking that we keep everyone here until we have what's going on outside contained," said the gentleman in plainclothes.

"Who's your boss?" asked another man. He's the Minister of Defense and this is the protocol we've established.

"Don't you realize we're all sitting ducks?" shouted McQuaid. "I'm in the security business and you have a number of notable and powerful people from all over the region in one room." McQuaid wasn't helping the situation, but that was his plan, if he was able to get everyone in the room fired up enough, perhaps they would be allowed to leave.

"I understand sir," said the gentleman.

"No you don't. My intel says there was no one at the church, that it was a diversion, someone knows your playbook and is waiting until all your emergency personnel converge over there, more than three miles away before striking here, we need to get everyone out five minutes ago."

McQuaid caught everyone's attention. "Your intel? Where did you hear this?"

"I can't reveal my sources, all that matters now is that we get everyone to safety."

Eyal approached phone in hand as he took in his surroundings. He was finally on the line with Annie who explained what Moishe found out. There was a man found dead who worked at the hotel. As he approached the group gathered around the man in charge he heard what he said. . .

"Let me speak to my superiors again," said the gentleman.

Ryan made eye contact with Eyal as he called Joan Campbell again.

"I need you to call your contacts at the Ministry of Defense with the intel, they're not moving fast enough," said Ryan.

"You know it's complicated. I can't reveal that I have people on the ground."

"Shit," said Ryan. He was thinking of how he could proceed without any weapons.

There were no weapons allowed at the event so no one had any firearms.

The guests were growing belligerent and in some pockets pushing and shoving ensued near exits.

"The doors are locked," shouted an Egyptian officer. "We can't open them!"

Eyal noticed that men stationed at all the exits tried the doors without success. Ryan approached Eyal.

"This is bad," said Ryan who managed to find Eyal who nodded in agreement. "Is it me or does he seem too cool for the situation?"

"What do you know about him?" asked Ryan.

"He was recently promoted and this is his first big event to secure," said Eyal.

"Annie is safe?"

"She's on her way here and I think she's our only hope for getting out of this."

"It's not protocol to keep us all here for this long. They should know now like Annie knew that the church was not occupied."

"Let's go see the man in charge," said Ryan to Eyal.

/

Annie arrived on the scene. The hotel was chaotic and people were told to shelter in place, but she approached the banquet hall and saw some men down. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a man enter the stairwell at the end of the hallway. She debated pursuing him, but instead she called Joan again.

"I'm sending a couple of guys your way," said Joan.

"It might be too late by then," said Annie. "Tell them to look for a man, about 5 feet 8 inches carrying a black duffle bag and wearing an electrician's work suit and wearing a black cap.

"The doors to the hall were chained together and I have nothing to pry them open with," said Annie. The area was eerily empty. It had been evacuated.

"Can you get some local police here to with bolt cutters?"

"I'm on it, but as you know. . . "

"Yeah, I know, everyone's at the site of the explosion. This is what they wanted."

Quickly Annie grabbed a broom stick from a closet and tried without success to break open the chains. She pulled out some hair pins and tried to pick the lock growing more frantic as she thought about what could happen.

/

Meanwhile Ryan and Eyal tackled the man in charge, he resisted and his men were on top of Ryan and Eyal. It was a chaotic scene. Everyone was yelling before Eyal ripped the man's shirt to reveal explosives shocking the Egyptian security officers.

"Quickly, let's get these people out and contain the scene," said McQuaid.

Outside, Annie is finally successful in opening the lock. As the doors open, she tells people to get out onto the lobby and street level. By then she sees two men, definitely Americans and most likely Joan's men on the ground. . . they nod at her knowingly and go to work opening the rest of the doors chained together.

Annie enters the hall to look for Eyal and Ryan. Finally, she spots him.

They looked at each other. He smiled and she smiled back.

"I've got this, Yakos," said Ryan to Eyal.

Eyal left the scene swiftly as part of the crowd leaving. He nudged Annie, they had to leave to make their extraction.

"Wait, there was a man here, the one who locked everyone in."

"Annie, we need to go."

"I know, but. . ."

Eyal rolled his eyes. He knew her.

"He's got to be here wondering what happened to the explosion," said Annie.

"Five minutes and you don't leave my sight," said Eyal. He knows her and he trusts her gut.

/

Once they reach the street the both scan the area. Within ten seconds Annie says, "The man on the motorbike, ten o'clock."

"I'll go around and approach from behind," said Eyal.

Annie nodded.

As Annie approached, a white van stopped in front of the man on the motor bike blocking Annie's view. The van screeched off leaving an empty and running motorbike on the ground.

"Well, it looks like our work is done," said Annie as she approached the bike with Eyal who reached the bike before her.

"Who was that?"

"I might have told Joan about him, he's their problem now," said Annie.

Eyal raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"You're okay not spending time with him?"

"I saw him and he's safe, so I'm good," said Annie. They were both safe and heading to their respective homes.

Twelve hours later when they were both back home, they spoke on the phone for hours before hanging up.


	33. Chapter 33

Note: A short chapter because I feel bad for leaving this hanging, but am not ready to put out the end. . . and I think after three appointments at the Genius Bar, my computer is finally back to normal.

A couple of weeks later. . .

Annie didn't tell Ryan she would also be in Paris. Being seen with the CEO and President of a leading security firm wasn't going to help her cover, so when he spotted her in an black suit and hair back to blonde next to Eyal at the keynote address he was giving on the security of high target Corporate Executives, he was pleasantly surprised. Later in the day, they were introduced at a meeting. Her name, Sarah Horowitz, head of security for an Israeli cybersecurity company.

They shared drinks and banter about his keynote address as if they didn't know each other. It was flirtatious and fun to pretend with her.

Later when they were briefly alone as Eyal hailed a cab, he said to her, "Remember the last time we were in Paris?"

She nodded as she tucked her hair back. "You saved my life."

The car arrived and she walked away despite every part of her wanting to stay with him.

Ryan's crew headed to the private airstrip outside of Paris. When Ryan boarded his private jet to return to D.C., Annie was on board. "Can a girl hitch a ride to Cyrus? I know it's the opposite direction, but . . ." Before she could finish he closed the space between them and lifted her up and spun her around making her laugh. Words were unnecessary.

It took a lot to surprise him and knowing that she was taking a huge risk to be on his plane touched him. She was in this, thought Ryan.

The couple of enjoyed catching up in person and it was as if no one was there. For the first time in ages, Ryan didn't fly his own plane and chose to be a passenger with Annie. He didn't push her on the future or their next meeting. They talked and enjoyed the wine and cheese on board before landing in Cyprus where Annie left him again. This time he wasn't sad. He knew he'd see her again.

In various ways they saw each other over the next half year choosing obscure locations with minimal wireless technologies and CCTVs to detect the pair. From the private home of a friend of Ryan's on the Faroe Islands, to Skanderborg, Denmark and Chennai, India and a half dozen other exotic locations, the couple met and spent time together when they could. Their time together was enough until the next when they would fill up on each other again, but each farewell was harder and harder for Annie. Going home to Noah made her happy, but she missed Ryan the second they left each other.

Ryan worked like a dog out of habit and none of his close friends questioned his solitary lifestyle because they knew Annie was always in his thoughts. He marked time by mentally counting down the days until he would see her again.

Annie continued to work counter terrorism missions with Eyal to take down the enemies of Israel. She traveled all over the glob, but though she didn't let it show, the work was becoming less thrilling and more of a chore.

As the weeks turned into months, Annie regained more steady footing in the world and her grief dulled. One day she noticed a tell tale sign. Nausea hit her as it had one before, she was never prone to nausea and this time she didn't dismiss it as food poisoning. It felt just they way she felt when she fell ill in Syria. She recalled all her encounters with Ryan. On that last remote island in the Seychelles, they thought they were careful, apparently not careful enough. But her surprise turned into panic. How was this going to work? Up until now they just lived, he stopped talking about the distant future and instead only asked about the next time they would meet. How was this life going to work with a child involved? The baby deserved to have both parents as a steady presence and a mother who didn't risk her life at every turn. She wasn't going to let her job and her choices endanger her child again.

/

Annie phoned Joan after she left her first prenatal appointment.

"I want to come in, I'm ready to go home," said Annie to Joan. On the other end, Joan exhaled and said, "It's about time Annie!"

"I suppose it is," said Annie choosing to keep her secret from Joan.

"If you want to do it right you'll be taken into custody for debrief, if you want to simply enter the country under an alias, I know you know how to do that."

"I want to do it right, I don't want to hide or live in constant fear of being found out."

"You've been nothing short of an asset since you left, I don't think it will be a cake walk, but I will do everything I can to make sure everything goes smoothly," promised Joan.

"I want an agreement in writing, my record expunged of any charges of espionage or aiding and abetting enemies of the state," said Annie.

"I've been doing everything I can for this day, does Ryan know?" asked Joan.

"Not yet, I don't want to get his hopes up until we've worked something out," said Annie.

"I'll send you the details after I make some calls," said Joan. "I'm happy that you're coming home."

"Thank you Joan," said Annie.


	34. Chapter 34

**Note:** Hello, closing in on an end, thanks for being patient. I will try to clean up what I have. There are other stories swimming in my head and plotted, but I vow to complete this and Oceans Apart before I put those out. Sorry to Annie's Demons fans. Some part of me is having a hard time getting back to that one. These characters are not mine, they belong to USA/CA Writers. Enjoy and let me know what you think.

 **Chapter 34**

Annie hung up with Joan and smiled as she stood on her balcony overlooking the beach. She put her hand to her abdomen and smiled as she savored the view she knew she would miss. Israel had been her shelter, her haven after losing her first baby. She found herself again slowly there and so it would always be special to her. She made a mental list of all the things she needed to do, then went inside where a row of half a dozen positive pregnancy tests were lined up on her counter. She took a deep breath and her next call was to Ryan.

"Ryan McQuaid here," answered Ryan not recognizing the incoming number.

"You knew it was me calling," said Annie lightly.

"I was hoping it would be, but didn't want to get my hopes up, so another new phone?"

"Can never be too careful," replied Annie.

"Any travel coming up?" asked Ryan.

"Well, I was hoping you would come to Tel Aviv for Passover? Eyal's invited you to his family's Seder." Ryan remembered his last Sedar with Eyal and Annie. He wasn't his best self.

"Are you remembering the last Sedar?"

He laughed, "You know me too well."

"Ranit and Eyal's mom are terrific cooks, the food will be wonderful," said Annie.

"I wouldn't miss it," said Ryan looking at his calendar.

Ryan was surprised to hear her invitation. In the past, when he brought up the idea of visiting her in Israel again, she always dodged and suggested other locations. He had wanted to visit their daughter's grave, but he also wanted to maintain the equilibrium they established so he never pushed her.

"I'll try to move some things around so I can stay for more than a day," said Ryan.

"I'd like that," said Annie. "Maybe we can go to Tiberius."

"Doesn't matter where we go, as long as we're together," said Ryan.

"Let me know your travel details," said Annie.

"Is everything okay?"

"Everything's great, I love you," said Annie.

"I love you too," said Ryan with a raised eyebrow. He didn't probe further.

Annie hung up and started to tick off her mental list of things to do.

/

About 10 days later. . .

When Ryan arrived at the airport Annie was there to pick him up. God, she looked beautiful with her wide-brimmed hat, sundress and sunglasses. They embraced and then she greeted him with a long kiss. There was something about her, of course he was always taken with her, but this time he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"Are you hungry?"

He shook his head. "Not very. Are we heading to Tiberius?"

Annie looked at her watch as they walked to her car.

"I have an appointment and I'd like you to come with me," said Annie nonchalantly.

His heart raced suddenly, "Is everything okay? Is it your heart?" This was why she wanted him here, something was wrong, this was the ball that was dropping. It was his turn for his fears to show. His brow furrowed.

She smiled. "Relax, McQuaid. I wanted you here to tell you face to face."

"Tell me what?" he asked anxiously as he put down his bag into the trunk she opened. Annie closed the trunk while facing away from Ryan and smiled with her eyes closed. She turned around and leaned on the car as Ryan looked at her with concern in his warm and loving eyes. He braced himself for what she was about to tell him.

Annie exhaled and let it out, "I'm pregnant and we're going to have an ultrasound today," said Annie, her heart speeding and her face flush.

Ryan's jaw hung open as he studied the woman before him. Now he understood why she wanted him to come, it was not over bad news. She looked beautiful with her sunglasses perched on top of her head and a smile that lit up his world. "You better not be shitting me Walker, I know you wouldn't do that to me," said Ryan as he shook his head.

She shook her head back. He leaned in and kissed her holding her face and then looking down. "How are you feeling?"

"Just a little nauseous today, but happy, so happy you know now, I wanted to tell you, but not over the phone and not until . . ."

"Not until what?"

"Not until I knew I was in the clear. . . well I guess I'll never feel in the clear until I deliver, but . . . "

Ryan smiled. "Everything is going to be okay, don't worry or think about what could go wrong love, we need to be positive."

"Let's go meet our baby then," said Annie. He squeezed her with a warm embrace again and opened the car door for her.

Ryan was still floored and speechless. "So, um, when did we, uh, how far along are you?"

"Seychelles," said Annie smiling. It brought a smile to Ryan as well.

"I had one appointment already to confirm the pregnancy and I know, I should have told you then, but I wanted you to be here and I wanted to. . . well wait. I did ask you to come for Passover as soon as I confirmed the pregnancy."

"I'm not upset, I'm shocked, but happy Annie. I'm very happy," said Ryan smiling.

/

The euphoria of the doctor's visit and seeing their little one's heart beating had worn off. They visited their daughter's grave afterwards with balloons and flowers. Then they took a walk along the beach with Noah and gelatos in hand before heading back to Annie's apartment. None of them spoke of the future for hours, but it was the elephant in the room for Ryan as they worked together to make dinner.

Ryan wondered what it would be like to live separately, that wasn't a family to him. He decided he could hand over the reigns of his company, his baby, all these years to Arthur and focus on his own family. He knew he couldn't expect Annie to give up her work and she had made it abundantly clear in the past that she would not return to D.C. The only solution he saw was for him to move to Israel. He spent some time on the phone while Annie baked a couple of desserts to bring to the Sedar.

"You think this place is big enough for all three of us?" asked Ryan as they lay in bed together.

Annie gave Ryan a quizzical look.

"I've been working on a transition plan with Arthur since yesterday. It will take about four months, but I'll be here for the end of the pregnancy, barring any complications," said Ryan.

Annie was touched that he was willing to sacrifice what had become his life, she shook her head, "No, no, you can't do that, there's not McQuaid Securities without McQuaid," said Annie. Ryan just smiled at her. "Seriously, I'm touched that you are willing to sacrifice your legacy and company for me,"

"Well, I'm not going to miss my baby's birth and milestones, we can't keep up with seeing each other in secret and only every couple of weeks, that's no life for a child," said Ryan. "I don't want that. I want us, I've always wanted us."

With tears in her eyes, Annie said, "I want us too. I know I've avoided it for so long, but I know for sure now, I want to have a life with you. I want to wake up next to you everyday and I'm touched by your willingness to make the changes," said Annie.

"So, how are we going to manage being together with you here and me in D.C.? That's not a whole lot of together."

"I've already put in motion what I need to return legitimately. Relax, I have a plan in place," said Annie.

"When were you going to fill me in on this plan?" asked Ryan with a quizzical expression.

"I'm telling you now," said Annie as she revealed the timeline.

"I don't know Annie, I don't trust the CIA or anyone in D.C. these days."

"I trust Joan," said Annie.

"I do too, but there are things not within her control, things are completely wacky back home," said Ryan.

"You're the one who tells me to be positive, it will work out, trust me," said Annie.

"What about Mossad, you think they'll willingly part ways with you?"

Annie nodded. "I'm planning on telling Eyal at Sedar, though I suspect he already knows."

"Okay, then this is really happening? You're coming home?" said Ryan as he wrapped his arms around her.


	35. Chapter 35

Notes: Here's a short chapter. . . I can always add twists and drag out a story. I was going to end this happily, but nothing ever goes smoothly for Annie, so thought I'd throw in one last drama. . . let me know what you think. . .

Joan always had a plan to get Annie back to D.C. Her plan had been in the works even before Annie knew it was what she wanted. As her former boss and mentor Joan felt responsible for Annie and the trajectory of her career. She wanted to make sure Annie would be treated fairly and because of her track record at the agency and clout in the world of intelligence, Joan made it possible for Annie to return and not land in federal custody. She prepared Annie to expect a period of being sequestered for briefs on all her contacts and missions for Mossad. The CIA wanted to know about every foreign agent Annie came in contact with while working outside the CIA to assess any liabilities.

Joan knew Annie would stand up under the pressure of the debriefs, but still she prepared her by telling her, "You will be treated like you have something to hide,"

"Only because I have nothing to hide, Mossad is an ally. The people I worked with, I did so to put away or neutralize our enemies too."

Joan was concerned that Annie would face backlash from Israel for returning and for sharing intelligence with the CIA. But Annie didn't seem concerned at all. There was a relationship there that could be further cultivated. Joan had it in her mind to offer Annie a position as a handler managing and training operatives in Israel.

/

Ryan helped Annie pack up her apartment, he did most of the heavy lifting. He planned to travel back home with many of her belongings. They didn't really speak about what would happen in D.C., both still cautious and uncertain of how things would unfold. Ryan wasn't going to celebrate until she was inside his home, safe and really with him in D.C. He watched her, there was a peace and happiness in her he had not seen before.

"The piano, I'm going to miss it," said Annie caressing the keys.

"There's one at my house, remember?"

Annie nodded and smiled. "It had a nice sound to it."

"You're really okay leaving here?" He knew what it meant to her.

"It's time," said Annie thinking to herself that a child needs both parents ideally. And while nothing had been ideal the last few years, it was time to really put down roots.

"I know it will be hard for you, please promise you'll lean on me," said Ryan.

Annie nodded and smiled back at him. Nothing felt more right to the couple.

/

Annie arrived back to D.C. via Canada. The plan was for Ryan to bring her in after they spent a few days settling in together and after their first appointment with an OB in D.C. But in Annie Walker's life, things never seem to go according to plan.

When Annie arrived at Dulles, she needed to use the restroom and phoned Ryan to say she'd be out in baggage claim in a few minutes. In the meantime Ryan waited to retrieve Noah's kennel. Ryan spent a few minutes figuring out where Noah would be and allowing the dog relief after the long flight.

"Welcome to the U.S. buddy," he said to Noah as he caught a glimpse of Annie at the baggage claim looking for her suitcases. He saw her approach to lift her suitcase off the belt he saw a man help her with her suitcase and while holding her suitcase, he led her out of baggage claim into an SUV parked outside. She turned back and looked right at Ryan before the man opened the door and had Annie climb inside before climbing in after her.

Ryan ran out with Noah behind barking.

Ryan is pissed at Joan and dialed her immediately as he tries to flag down a car. "Where are they taking her?"

Joan was confused. "What are you talking …"

Ryan cut her off, "Whoever has her just screeched off in a black SUV, I'm sending you a photo now. So help me God Joan, who the hell has her and where is she?"

"Oh my God, I had nothing to do with that," said Joan quickly looking for her assistant. "Get the DNI on the line, tell him it's urgent."

Assuming Joan was telling the truth, Ryan's mind went into overdrive trying to figure out who took Annie. There wasn't any fear in her face per se, just a look of concern.

"Joan you better not be lying to me, who in the hell has her then?" asked Ryan as he tried to avoid panicking.

"I understand your frustration," said Joan.

"Frustration doesn't begin to describe what I'm feeling," said Ryan running his fingers through his hair before making a fist with his right hand.

"Where the hell did they take her? And who are they?"

Joan walked out and called in Eric and his team. "I'm going to need time to work on that and your photo will help. Believe me, we were careful, no one here knew her travel plans. You know Annie she's always thinking two steps or more ahead. She hasn't been on anyone's radar in months, you know how it works here, there are constantly bigger fish to fry," said Joan trying to put Ryan at ease, but she herself was growing deeply concerned. Someone went above her and she had an idea of who and he messed with the wrong person.

Ryan is distraught. He felt out of control with anger and worry. In his mind, he pleaded for Annie and their child's safety. There was no one to turn to but God. If anything happened to them, he would never forgive himself.

"I'll call you in 10 minutes. Stay calm," said Joan hanging up.

Ryan hated being helpless. He called Jim and gave him the description of the van and asked him to tap into city cameras to spot it.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

In the van. . .

"I'm very sorry about this," apologized a suited man in the back of the van while putting on his seat belt. Annie stared at him with a "what gives" look.

"Seat belt?" he suggested with a weak smile.

Annie had immediately recognized her old nemesis of sorts, FBI Agent Vincent Rossabi when he reached in from behind her to lift her suitcase off the belt. She had been thinking about what he wanted except when she worried about what Ryan was thinking now that she disappeared from baggage claim.

"Hello Vincent," said Annie coolly as she played with the locket around her neck.

"Annie, you're looking well for a corpse," said Vincent.

"That's old news, Vincent," laughed Annie.

"By the time news traveled that you had returned, I tried to see you, but then you were gone again," said Rossabi.

Annie gave him a surprised look.

"Yeah I came around and wanted to thank you for what you did. I mean taking out that SOB, that was you right?"

Annie gave Vincent a look as if to say, he should know better than to ask about Henry Wilcox.

"What is this about?" asked Annie firmly.

"Russia, we have an on-going investigation that you could shed some light on."

Annie laughed.

"Oh Lord, you're kidding right?"

Agent Rossabi shook his head seriously. "I know, what are the chances that we'd be sitting here together?"

Annie laughed. She needed to play this out. She and Vincent were always at odds, but somehow Joan and the CIA always got her out. Their last encounter, Vince was in the way of her efforts to nail Henry Wilcox, but it looks like he now knew something of what she had gone through.

"You've been out of the States for a while, but the big news here is. . ."

"I've kept up with current events," said Annie.

"We're investigating Russian influence that continues to this day," said Rossabi.

Annie nodded.

"Why do you need me?"

"Really? After all we've been through you're going to play dumb again?"

Annie let out a chuckle and looked out the window.

"My. . . there was someone meeting me at the airport," said Annie.

Vincent smiled.

"Ryan McQuaid?"

Annie nodded concerned that the FBI was into her business and her personal life.

"How did you know I'd be at the airport today?"

Vincent gave her a look, "You do your thing and we do ours."

"Look, this shouldn't take more than a day or two if you cooperate."

Annie looked over, "And if I don't?"

"I think you will," said Vincent smiling confidently.

"Let me make a phone call," said Annie taking out her phone.

Vincent shook his head. "I don't want anyone interrupting us,"

"You need to let me contact people," said Annie.

"Oh so they can waltz in and get you off?"

"I know what you and your agency are capable of," said Vince.

"I'm no longer on the payroll," said Annie. "I've been working for Mossad as you must know," said Annie.

"There's how things appear and how things really are, you've taught me that over the years," said Vince.

"Listen, I'm sorry about the things I had to do, there were reasons behind it and you were in the crosshairs," said Annie.

"I went to your funeral you know," said Vince.

That surprised Annie and caught her off guard.

"I genuinely felt terrible when I heard you died and I knew it was Wilcox who ordered it," said Vince. "I was sorry that I couldn't do more to stop that bastard and I'm glad you did."

/

Ryan paced frantically at the airport looking around at the security cameras with Noah loyally panting by his side. He was trying to examine all the possibilities, yet none of his thoughts were coherent because he kept thinking about Annie and her safety. Finally, he took Noah to his car and called Jim.

"Anything?"

"Not yet," said Jim.

"What about the cameras at the airport baggage area?"

"I'll look into it, where are you now?"

"I'm going to Langley, can you have Arthur call me?"

/

"Ma'am, sir, we have a lead," said Eric.

"Where, where is she?" demanded Ryan.

"The truck headed towards Baltimore, but we have no known black sites in this area over here," he said as he pointed to a map on his screen.

"This is not the homecoming I pictured for her," said Ryan.

"Wait a minute," said Ryan. "Do you think that Mossad?"

"I don't think so, that's not their style, if they wanted to stop her, they would have before she left Israel, besides Eyal would never let anything happen to her, you know that. She's like his little sister."

They both looked at each other and at the same time said, "Russians?"

"Fuck fuck fuck," said Ryan as he threw a stapler he found across the room.

"Let's not jump to conclusions. The Russians typically don't take people in public like this," said Joan.

"Then what the hell is going on Joan?" asked Ryan.

"Guys, the surveillance at the airport picked this man up, it's just his backside, but he's here helping Annie with her bag," said Eric.

Joan studies the back of the man. Can you look at other feeds to get us a better shot at this man.

"Do you recognize him?" asked Ryan.

"I'm not quite sure," she said before she left the room to make a phone call.

"Eric, give me a copy of that picture," demanded Ryan. "And give the van's route."

Eric looked over to Joan.

"Ryan, I know you're worried about Annie, but let me remind you that you're here as a guest and you don't get to," said Joan before Ryan cut her off.

"It's not just Annie. She's pregnant and if anything happens to her or our baby, I am going to unleash hell, so you better give me all the access and everything you have," yelled Ryan.


	37. Chapter 37

Annie spent the next few minutes in the car thinking about how she was going to proceed. Should she give Vince and the FBI what they wanted so she could get out and see Ryan or should she keep her mouth shut and possibly face jail time for obstruction?

"How long more because I need to use a bathroom," said Annie.

"Not much longer, and we've made it comfy for you. We have everything you need," said Vince.

"I need to go now," said Annie.

Vince made a call on his phone. Annie needed to get her hands on a phone. . .

"We can't stop, we'll be there in less than an hour," said Vince. "I'm sorry, I need to do this," he said while holding up a blindfold.

Annie could have played her pregnancy card, but she didn't want them to know that information.

/

"Annie is pregnant?" asked Joan.

Ryan swallowed and looked down before he faced Joan and looked her directly in the eyes.

"We've waited so long to be together in the same home again and. . . now I don't know what the hell is going on and I'm crawling out of my skin Joan. . ."

"I know and you need to trust me, I am doing all I can to find her," said Joan.

"If anything happens to that baby, it will kill her, so please if you have any idea of who has her, tell me," said Ryan.

Joan spoke softly, "Let me go make that call and I will have more information."

/

Annie heard the vibrating of Vince's phone.

She notices he doesn't answer, but she heard him exhale deeply sensed his change in mood.

"Can you drive any faster?" he asks the driver.

"Don't let me keep you from answering your calls," said Annie.

"If you're no longer working for the CIA, why is your former boss calling me?" asked Vince.

"I don't know, she didn't know I planned on returning today."

Vince laughed.

"What?"

"The entire time we've known each other, I've never known what was real or a lie."

"So how do you expect to believe anything I say when you question me?" asked Annie emphasizing the word _question_ with air quotes.

"Oh, I'm not the one who will be questioning you," said Vince.

"Call her back," said Annie.

Against his better judgment, Vince listened to Annie and returned Joan's call.

/

"Ms. Campbell," greeted Vince.

"Vincent, thank you for calling me back," said Joan.

"I have some video footage of you leaving IAD with a mutual friend and I'd like to warn you that you are not to speak to her without representation," said Joan.

"Oh, I was under the impression that Ms. Walker is no longer employed by your agency," said Vince.

"Well, your impressions are wrong then," said Joan.

"Here we go again," said Rossabi.

"What do you mean?" asked Joan.

"You say she works for you, she says she doesn't, this is the same old same old with you, I don't know why I bothered," said Vince.

"So she is with you?" asked Joan.

Vince cleared his throat.

"We just need some information from Ms. Walker and she will be free to go after," said Vince.

"Her information has a direct impact on national security and I can't have her questioned by your people without someone on our end present," said Joan.

"We're investigating Russian involvement within the federal government and this shit goes up the chain Joan. I am trying to keep her safe and her identity off the record and if you start asking questions, it's going to be difficult to do that," said Vince.

"Okay, maybe I can help," said Joan.

"You can by letting me to my job without obstructing me for once," said Vince.

"Annie's been through a lot," said Joan.

"I know, I'll make sure she's okay," said Vince.

"How long because there are folks here at the agency who will want to speak to her too once they know she's back in D.C."

"A couple of days," said Vince.

"Tell me what you're after and I'll look into it on my end," said Joan.

"My team has been watching several Russian businessmen since the Russian investigation into election tampering began and uncovered a deeper and larger network of activity that wasn't on anyone's radar. It goes deep Joan," said Vince.

"I'll see what I can find out on the Russian end with my contacts," said Joan.

"You need to do it discreetly, I don't want them to know what's coming," said Vince.

"Can I speak with her?" asked Joan.

"Only on speaker," said Vince.

He put the speaker on.

"Annie, you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm ok, tell Ryan, I'm sorry that our reunion will need to wait longer," said Annie.

"He's really worried about his family," said Joan.

"Tell him the truth, he'll understand," said Annie.

/

Joan returns to Ryan in the conference room where he found him pacing.

"Who has her?" asked Ryan as soon as she entered.

"I spoke to her and she's fine."

"You spoke to her? What the hell is going on Joan?" said Ryan.

"She's in FBI custody," said Joan as she exhaled.

"What?"

"The man seen with her in the video footage from Dulles works for the Feds. He and Annie have been acquainted over the years," said Joan.

"The FBI? What do they want?"

"They have questions about her contact with Russians," said Joan.

"How do we get her back?"

"We don't Ryan, we sit back and wait until they're done questioning her, this is good news, Ryan." said Joan.

Ryan sat down.

"Well, how long is this going to take?"

"I don't know, but all you can do now is sit back," said Joan.

"Is she in trouble?"

"I think what she has to say will get a lot of people in trouble and as a result, yeah, she's going to have to watch her back," said Joan.

Ryan looked out the window. "Never easy, huh?"

Joan shook her head. "Afraid not, it's just not the way the cards are dealt in this line of work."


	38. Chapter 38

**Almost there, thanks for sticking with me. These are not my characters. They belong to CA Writers/USA. Please let me know what you think. ; )**

 **Chapter 38**

After Ryan left Langley, Joan had Eric work on pinning down Annie's location. She needed to have someone from the agency present to protect Annie. The current climate was tenuous and heads were rolling everywhere, Annie's association with the FBI no matter how good they were at covering up their sources would be dangerous moving forward. Fairness, truth and justice were sadly no longer priorities for the executive branch.

/

"Hello Dimitri," said Joan. Joan and Dimitri sought each other out from time to time, they were each other's main backchannels despite the distrust between their countries. This time he wasn't expecting her. Annie's intel from the incident with Kozlov had code names and cut outs the agency had been following up on over the last few months. That intel also included what she took off of Kravec, it was unexpected and was a byproduct of her mission with Mossad. Joan made connections with what Annie found and Vincent's investigation.

"Nice running into you here Joan," said Dimitri looking around.

"Just wanted to give you a friendly heads up that the FBI is investigating Viktor Kozlov and his connections to the current administration," said Joan.

Dimitri looked stunned.

"Kozlov? He's not in that league and he's dead, been dead a few months now," said Joan's old contact.

"The investigation is looking into events that predate the election and he's at the center of it," said Joan.

"Well, you can count on there being no loose ends on the Russia side if Kozlov is dead."

"Do you know who else he worked with?"

Dimitri shook his head, but he looked over to Joan.

"We had some good times once upon a time, didn't we?"

Joan smiled and nodded coyly.

"We did."

"Things were simpler when our countries were clearly at odds."

"They were and they weren't," said Joan.

His fondness for Joan showed.

"I have no skin in the game as you Americans like to say, I'll see what I can find out," said Dimitri.

"What I really need to know is who on my side knows and what they know," said Joan.

"You're asking me what I know about your own government?"

"I can't turn to the NSA or DIA or Joint Chiefs on this and I obviously can't turn to the White House," said Joan.

"Understood," said Dimitri.

/

An interrogation room at an FBI safe house. . .

"So your op with Mossad was to retrieve intel from Kozlov's residence as it related to an arms sale that resulted in the deaths of Israeli civilians," asked Vince's boss.

"For the 12th time, I cannot speak to my missions without making sure you have clearance from my superiors," said Annie.

"And you got the devices and turned them over to your Mossad partner and no one else," said the man.

"I cannot confirm or deny what you are saying," said Annie.

"During your surveillance a man named Ivan Kravec entered the scene."

"If your surveillance shows that you can draw your own conclusions," said Annie.

"You had prior contact with him on previous missions," said Vince.

"I can't say," said Annie.

The man asking questions sighed, "Did you know he was a known associate of several members of the Kremlin, but most notably a classmate and colleague of Putin?"

"I can't say what I knew or know," said Annie.

"Did you remove any devices from his person that evening?"

"I cannot say," said Annie.

"Did you turn over the devices to your superiors at Mossad and to Langley?"

"I cannot say," said Annie.

"What was your contact with Kravec?"

"I cannot say," said Annie.

"We received anonymously a file with phone logs between Kravec and key members of the administration and funders of the current administration. We also know that many of the administrations large donors are affiliated with Kredit Krepost," asked the man slightly flustered.

"I can't speak to the nature of that," said Annie.

"Really?"

"Not until I know you are cleared and I have representation from my agency," said Annie.

"Which agency is that? Mossad or the CIA?"

Just then another suit interrupted and entered the room. Vincent had been watching his boss get nowhere with Annie and inside he was smiling. It was nothing he did not expect and he was sure his boss left because the CIA was calling.

"Are you enjoying this?" asked Annie.

"Huh?"

"You were grinning the whole time," said Annie.

"I told my boss how things were going to go and he didn't believe me, he owes me dinner after this," said Vincent.

"I'll buy you dinner if you get me out of here," said Annie.

He heard her tummy growling.

It had been hours and they had only offered her coffee and water.

"Come on," said Vince.

Annie looked at him strangely.

"Really?"

Vince nodded.

When Annie stood up, he noticed a roundedness to her belly that he didn't notice before. She was wearing a tunic blouse over leggings with an open cardigan and a bulky infinity scarf earlier. She grabbed her scarf and wrapped it around her covering her belly.

Annie noticed that Vince was suddenly quiet.

"Where are you taking me?"

"There's a restroom down the hall, I'll be waiting for you, take your time," he said as he made sure she saw him slip his phone into suit pocket by looking at her and then her phone.

Annie lifted Vince's phone and entered the restroom. She looked out the window and saw an empty field that had been plowed recently and power lines. She dialed Joan and described what she saw to her and stayed on the line so that Barber could locate her. The window was entirely too small for Annie to fit through or else she would have attempted to get out on her own.

"I'll be there soon," said Joan.

"You were my first call, can you tell Ryan I'm okay?"

"I can do better, I'll bring him with me," said Joan.

 **A couple of hours later**

Dimitri came through for Joan. She owed him. Joan handed Ryan a folder of intel. Intel that could possible destroy more than a few careers. Heads were already starting to roll in the administration and then within the FBI because the heat was up and it was showing. People were getting nervous and acting irrationally.

"You hold on to these, they will keep Annie safe," said Joan.

"What is this?" asked Ryan looking through the folders.

"That's your leverage."

Ryan looked over the files. He was disgusted.

I have another set in a safe deposit box should anything happen to that set.

"Now if you're ready, let's go," said Joan.

"Where?"

"To get Annie," said Joan.

/

Annie emerged from the bathroom and saw Vince leaning against the wall opposite the door.

"Thank you," said Annie as she followed him down the hall. She managed to return his phone.

Rossabi let her to a lounge where there were granola bars and a bowl of fruit on the table.

"They sent a guy out to pick up dinner. He should be here soon. In the mean time help yourself," said Vince.

Annie reached for an apple and started eating it while looking around.

"What is this place anyway?"

"Small operations building for a local farm," said Vince.

"How long do you plan on keeping me here?" asked Annie.

Just then Vince's boss came in, "What the hell Rossabi?"

"She needed to use the bathroom and we haven't offered her any food," said Vince.

"Well, it's time to get back to our questions time is running out," said Vince's boss.

"Sorry Walker," said Vince with a wink.

They escorted Annie back to the interrogation room, but both knew Annie would not be there for much longer.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 40**

A/N: Well this is the end of the road. Checking off my unfinished works. Will try to finish up Oceans Apart next. I have some short one shots and fanfics unfinished. . . will try to put out a new one soon too. In this last chapter. . . I am paying homage here to our country's intelligence community who have plenty of evidence there was interference with the 2016 elections. . . Not sure anyone will actually be called to the mat on it, but I believe it to be true and hope justice will prevail and the people who are after the truth will stay strong. Enjoy!

Joan and Ryan were en route to Annie.

"Remember let me do the talking, understood?" said Joan.

Ryan gave Joan a non-committal look. He wasn't going to promise to stay out of this, not with Annie involved.

Joan took a harsher tactic, "Don't make me regret bringing you along. You can stay in the car if you can't control yourself. And you're going to leave your side arms in the car, you won't need them," said Joan.

"You think they'll let her go?"

"She will have to answer their questions before that. I've looked into the lead investigator and he's solid, career FBI like Rossabi, the man from the airport," said Joan.

"You said Annie knew this Rossabi?"

"Yes, they crossed paths more than a couple of times and truthfully we owe Vincent a lot, he's a good contact to have," said Joan.

"What do you mean we owe him?"

"Annie's screwed him over, he's paid the price when all he's ever done was try to do his job, it's sad, but everything we did, everything Annie did was necessary," said Joan.

"So his career has suffered because of Annie and the CIA? Then what makes you think he will be willing to help Annie?"

"How do you think she was able to make that call to me?" asked Joan.

"Rossabi?"

Joan nodded. "He's soft on Annie even though they've sparred on more than one occasion."

"Well, she's good on getting people to be soft on her," said Ryan.

"Annie definitely has a way with people you know, even her adversaries are drawn to her," said Joan.

"He was really torn up at her funeral and upset that he couldn't help with the mission she was on at the time," said Joan.

"We're nearly there according to the coordinates Eric gave me," said Joan.

"Up ahead, there's a building on the left of the road," said Ryan.

"When they pulled up, Joan exited the car and was greeted by none other than Robert Mueller, Special Counsel.

"Ms. Campbell," greeted Mueller.

"Mr. Mueller," returned Joan.

"This is Ryan McQuaid," introduced Joan.

"You have quite a reputation McQuaid, pleasure to meet you," said Mueller.

"I am hoping we can work something out here," said Mueller to Joan.

"Me too," said Joan.

Joan and Robert enter an office in the building while Ryan is shown the lounge.

Inside the office, Joan provided Robert the clearance he needed to question Annie, but asked that Annie only speak to him and Vincent Rossabi whom she had also given clearance. Joan would be present during questioning as well as Ryan McQuaid. Mueller accepted the deal.

/

Joan emerged from her meeting and explained the terms to Ryan. He looked over all the paperwork and agreed. "When can I see her?"

"They're ready to bring you to her," said Joan.

A few minutes later Vince brought Annie to the lounge area where Ryan ran up to her, they held each other tightly for a minute. He held her face and looked down towards her belly before he whispered, "Are you both all right?"

Annie nodded before kissing his left palm and so relieved he was there with her. "You?"

"Now that I've seen you, everything's good," said Ryan.

"The sooner we get started, the sooner we can have you out of here," said Mueller.

Over the course of the next three days Annie answered questions and openly gave statements on everything Robert Mueller asked. She was guaranteed anonymity due to her job as a high level operative for an unnamed intelligence agency.

Sitting in on the questioning was eye-opening for McQuaid. Annie always impressed him from the moment they met to the dozens of times they were in the field together, but hearing the details of everything Annie had done during her tenure with the CIA helped him understand her and how her experiences shaped her. And finally, after the third day, Mueller was satisfied with the evidence he had amassed and Annie was free to go.

"Thank you for your sacrificial service and patriotism," said Mueller shaking Annie's hand.

"It was my job and I loved doing it despite the personal costs," said Annie.

"I'll try to nail these SOBs without your testimony and use the information and names you've provided to gain additional evidence," said Mueller.

"Well, I am trusting you Robert," said Joan.

"I won't let you ladies down," said Robert to Joan and Annie.

/

Ryan went out to get his car. All he wanted to do was get Annie home, finally.

"You doing okay?" asked Vince.

"Exhausted," said Annie.

"I guess this is good-bye," said Vince.

"Until next time," said Annie.

"Look, congratulations, I uh, I. . . figured you're what? Four or five months along?" said Vince motioning to Annie's belly.

Annie looked at him surprised at his ability to notice, but didn't confirm anything. She realized her tummy had grown recently and she tried her best not to touch her belly whenever she felt her baby moving. It was her instinct to protect the child and she didn't want anyone knowing that she was pregnant.

Vince smiled back. "I hope everything goes smoothly for you from here on out," he said.

"Thank you," said Ryan who had returned. He shook Vince's hand and gave him his business card. "If you ever need anything or maybe a change of pace, give me a call."

Ryan walked Annie to the car and opened the passenger side door for her.

Annie sat in the car and looked up at Ryan smiling.

"Finally, going home," said Ryan.

"I can't wait," said Annie.

"Noah's tail will be going a thousand miles an hour," said Ryan with a smile.

The end. . .


End file.
